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I went to the Renaissance Faire this weekend! Well, technically I went last weekend too, but I forgot my camera. But don't fret, dear readers! For this day, I bring you PICTURES!!!

Nik and I went to two showings of the Joust, one in the morning on the hillside, and one in the afternoon, front and center from the Alehouse right next door. Here's a combo of both those times. My camera died shortly after we started watching the second joust, otherwise I'd have more:

All four warriors, representing from left to right: Lady Maria of Spain, SIr Gumhad of Germany, Italy, and Scotland. The other names escape me.


This is one of the announcers, so glad they got mics! Alator of the North, as he's called.


BEAUTIFUL shot of Sir Gumhad preparing for the joust!


Germany and Italy having a tiff.


The infamous Pickle Lady! It used to be that if you paid an extra dollar she'd let you eat it from her cleavage! But, the Health Dept. made her stop. Damn them! She's infamous because of how she shouts for people to buy her pickles, she has a song, and walks around with a wheelbarrow full of them. It's great, if I liked pickles I'd buy one from her every time she passed me.


Beautiful shot of Italy (left) and Scotland battling it out in the Joust!


Not only were the knights easy on the eyes, these horses are astounding!


More of the knight for Scotland.


More of Sir Gumhad of Germany.


Good close up of Italy.


Couple of guys we saw in full armor. Sweet!


This adorable character was giving a puppet show for kids and I thought she just looked amazing.


Ahh, the Bawdy Juggler. So much could be said about this man and it still wouldn't be enough to do him justice. I will get video next time, and hopefully will have a better seat. HILARIOUS man!



Nik and I saw this amazing creature taking a break. His mouth is actually a puppet, and moves as he talks! So cool!


We saw some pirates giving a whip demonstration and talking history, so we snapped some cool photos.



OMG. Beautiful Mary, Queen of Scotts. I wish I had a better picture of her, maybe next time.



So, for those who've been demanding to see ME in costume, here you go. This one has a shot of me with my model flintlock pistol, and the second one is of me and my model blunderbust. Got more comments on my eyes and my flintlock than anything else I was wearing.



This was a man on stilts we saw. I saw a little kid ask him "how'd you get so big?" His response? "Eat your bean sprouts." The mother cheered. ^_^


So that's all for now! I'll post more as I get them, and hopefully video! Stay tuned!

I feel dead and alone.

I feel sick and empty.

I feel heavy and still.

I am tired of being sick and tired. All the time. All I want to do is sleep anymore, hoping that if I sleep for long enough my life will change, the world will change, and things will be better. I wonder if I'm fooling myself.

My job is unfulfilling and only getting worse. My purse is empty almost all the time. I live in a house with four other people and still feel like the only soul for miles around.

I usually enjoy my solitude, but lately I want someone to share it with. They say misery loves company, and I'm beginning to understand that, but in a different way than I'm sure the original phrase was intended.

I'm barely six weeks away from my salvation and for the first time in all of this time I feel myself slipping toward sin and damnation. I will fight it as I have fought everything else, but this sudden change is worrisome. Why now? Why this? I am starting to wonder if what little luck and strength I've had has finally run out.

I'm tired of fighting all the time, fighting a war that I don't understand. Maybe it's not worth it anymore, maybe if I just give in I'll feel better, things will be easier. But I pride myself on my pride, my sense of what is right and wrong for myself, and to give that up would be to give up what makes me who I am. But is it worth it anymore? Years of being an outcast among friends, being wrapped in cellophane while wrapped in the embrace of others. I'm there and yet I'm not, I'm included yet set aside.

I know I should be sleeping, but my mind won't stop spinning. I'm not thinking of anything in particular. I see a specialist about what's wrong with me tomorrow but I am not hopeful for what they can tell me. I wonder if this is my punishment for something, that I'm doomed to feel this way forever because of some sin in a past life.

Figures. Damn it.

So it's been three months I've been under this "flu" and I am so sick and tired of being nauseous all the time. Here's how it all went down.

On February 20th, I was doing the midnight-9am shift at work. I came down from lunch at 4:30am, swiped my card to clock back in, took three more steps then WHAM! My legs went out from under me, the world went black and I became so nauseous I just about made a mess on the store floor. I crawled back to the department and tried to get back to work. The nausea wouldn't let up, I spent two hours sitting in the manager's chair, trying to will my body to hold it in so I could get back to work. After those two hours and no improvement, I called my PIC and went home. I've been nauseous ever since.

Even THINKING "Oh, I don't feel nauseous finally!" will bring up the nausea. I haven't thrown up yet, I think because I hate it so much and fight it so hard. Short of sticking my toothbrush down my throat I refuse to do it. Even the night I got sick I sucked it up and said "if you just do it, you'll feel better." I sat before the toilet for 20 minutes... and nothing happened. I couldn't force it up short of sticking my finger down my throat. Which I refuse to do.

It comes in various degrees, always in waves. I'll be fine one minute, nauseous the next, then fine again in about an hour. I haven't noticed any foods or situations that make it better or worse. I even spent a night in the ER, I just couldn't take the nausea anymore. They couldn't explain what was wrong with me, but sent me home with a low-fat diet plan. That has helped, for sure, but I still get nauseous every day.

It was thought to be gallbladder related, but that's been ruled out by all my blood tests coming back clear and an ultrasound coming back pristine. As I said, ALL my blood work is normal, with only one of the 4 or 5 kinds of white blood cells coming back only SLIGHTLY high. The doctor said it's not even anything of note, it's so slightly above normal. I said it was probably from them fighting whatever this is. She agreed.

On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being worst, I am constantly at a 3 or 4. I've been on several medications, mostly anti-acids for acid reflux, with no luck. They'd work for about a week then stop. One even made me worse; I got nauseous after taking the medicine. I am an enigma, according to my doctor. Even she's confused. The only thing that keeps me alive is my promethizine, my anti-nausea meds. They knock me out hard, but they kill the nausea, mostly. My doctor doesn't like giving them to me since they're just covering up whatever is wrong, not fixing it. But I told her it's what keeps me going when things get bad, so she gives me a few more each time I go in. Yay.

I've tried everything I can think of. I've gone gluten free for a week, no difference. I've gone dairy free for a week, no difference. I've gone egg and cheese and animal product free for a week, no difference. I haven't had any red meat since I've been sick, no cow's milk (almond milk is actually good if it's ice cold), no fast food other than nuggets, no fries and sprite to drink only. My sister thinks it's an allergy of some kind, but I've exhausted every allergy I can think of. With no major improvements.

The next step is my CAT scan tomorrow. My doctor things that since it doesn't seem to be gastro related, that maybe it has something to do with head pressure. You know when you stand up too fast and your eyes go black? She thinks maybe this is the problem, since it usually is worst in the morning and evening, while lessening in the afternoon. We'll see how that goes, and I'll post about it if it's worth mentioning.

Ugh... so sick of being sick. There is no light at the end of the tunnel, no obvious avenue to move down, no nothing. I am so frustrated and angry and fed up. If the CAT scan comes back normal, the next step is to send me to a gastroentrologist(sp?). Here's hoping THAT will show something. But I'm not too hopeful at this point. I don't remember what it's like to NOT be nauseous anymore. emo

See you, Space Cowboy...
~Jagger

So someone came up with the brilliant idea of doing a Vampire Knight photoshoot, so I of course went along. Here's the best ones!

Yuki with a scythe.


Everybody together.


Just the Night Class.


Just the Day Class.


The ONLY Kaname Kuran in the whole con!


Kaname and Zero


Go go Idol! Er... Aido!!! sweatdrop


Kaname and Zero fighting over Yuki


More Night Class girls.


Poor Headmaster Cross! Zero is going to bite Yuki!


Just the Boys!


Protect your beloved, Yuki!


Another Group Shot.


Zero taking Kaname's blood.


A spin on Aido's water bucket punishment.


Yeah! Take it, Kaname!


And another! Yaoi! heart


Kaname taking Yuki's blood.


Zero taking Yuki's blood again.


Parasol love.


I made a friend!


Sexy me. ^_^;


Zero and Kaname fighting in an "alley".


Ariel shot.


The things we do for our beloved Kaname, be his chair, arm rests, and footstool.


Kaname's a rockstar!


Dizzy Kaname!


Hope you liked the images! It was an amazing Con and I can only expect an even better one next year. Go Sakura-Con!!!

I'll have to split these up because there are so many, but here's the first batch!

Final Fantasy Collection


Awkward Samus Kick!


Chun-Li and Balrog!


Beautiful Sailor Neptune!


Inuyasha Group


Link and Sheik


Sauske in a tree


Not sure who they are, but they sure look cool. ^_^


Assassins!


Professor X and the Powerpuff Girls!


Me and Master Roshi!


Cute Lynda as the ONLY Arisa Uotani in the whole con!


It's No Face!


Sexiest Haruhi Suzumia in the whole con!


Yes, I am indeed CARAMELDANSEN!!!


DOMO-KUN!!!


Me and a Day Class Guy.


Look! I found Jesus! blaugh


Totoro!


Tuxedo Mask!


Pretty Solider Sailor Moon!


All for now! I'll post more in the next Journal Update!

So it's been a while since I updated my journal. I guess I've just been lazy. Anyway, here's the gist of it.

Got my sleeve started. Have pictures of it in my profile, though they're slightly out of date. I now have all the major coloring done, I just a few more details and holes to fill in. It's been quite a fast journey as far as sleeves go. I've been in to see Tor four times since about September 12th, the day I got the outline started. Hopefully I'll get to go in and see him later this week and finally get the last few holes filled in.

Honey is coming home soon! Not for good, but for about three weeks of leave. His tour is over in February sometime, and he's taking leave March 1st through the 20th. We plan to go hang out a the Tulalip Casino up north, just as a small get away. He's out for good in July. He's not sure what exactly he plans to do once he's done, but he needs to start really thinking about it. If he does decide to reenlist, he wants to do it with the Air Force instead. Or he can take part of the GI bill that lets him be a full time student for 3 years and the military will pay for it. Or he can not reenlist altogether and be a civilian again. He's not really sure yet.

Work still sucks, as always. Being PIC isn't all fun and games, I have to actually start barking orders now. It's hard when people don't really think I have the power to order them around, which I do. It will take some time to get used to, but I wouldn't have to bark orders if my crew would just do what they KNOW needs to be done and do it WHEN they know it needs to be done. Ugh, Honey said he'd pay for me to go to school if I want, and I just might take him up on that.

Anyway, it's late and I've been feeling crappy all day, so off to bed. Hope that caught everyone up!

~Jagger

Honestly, isn't there anything else you could worry about in the world? People are dying every day, kids are starving in Africa, and all she cares about is where I park my ******** car?! Seriously, we already had a two hour argument about it before, and nothing got resolved. So now she's just making it worse.

I don't understand what the big issue is anyway. I always tried to think of others when I parked my car, I understand there are 6 of us in the house and 5 have their own car. So, when I get home first, I park around the side of the col-de-sac so everyone else can park behind me. If someone is already home before me, I pull up close behind them so there is the most room possible for someone else to park behind me. You know, trying to be considerate. But no, not with her. She parks right in the ******** middle of the way whenever she gets home first, and CHOOSES to park half a car length behind whoever is in front of her so I have to park down the street on the opposite side and walk halfway down the block just to get home at night. -_- Honestly, must be nice being ******** special.

She tried this on me once before, and it ended badly. Since she can't fight with me logically, she gets personal. She kept going around in circles during that argument, fighting like a 13 year old. "Yeah, well, you suck!" or "At least my husband is around for me to talk to hahaha!" (her husband and my boyfriend are brothers) Bringing my boyfriend who is in Iraq into the mix, how ******** low can you get? She was downstairs in the other bedroom texting me for two hours instead of walking the 10 steps upstairs to talk to me like an adult. The whole problem was that I finally got tired of it and parked right in the first spot, so everyone had to go around me. I got tired of her parking right in the middle of it, so I got the primo parking right in front of the house. No one else complained but her, and I didn't really give a s**t. So after our argument I thought I would be the bigger person and start parking properly again. That lasted about three days. Then just now I look outside and she's ******** touching my car with hers, her nose aganst my nose. I swear to god if there is one ******** scratch on my license plate I will slash her tires.

I don't understand what the big ******** issue is. I ask her why she can't pull all the way forward and she says "Because I just don't want to" or "Because my car doesn't fit over there" (she has a Saturn Vue and I have a Dodge Neon). So you make it worse by parking right on the corner of the col-de-sac where everyone is MORE likely to hit you?! You DO realize that that makes the least amount of sense? I really want to say something, but am not sure what or how to bring it up. I also want to be the bigger person in this issue, and that means I shouldn't really bring it up at all. Ugh, I am so mad I'm nearly shaking, she's sitting on the couch behind me and I want to rush over there and just pummel in her fat face. Then take my keys and draw a nice ragged line all the way down her nice new shiny Vue.

Maybe I'll go to the gym and punch the bags for a while, or swim. There are better outlets for my anger, but the one I want to do will definitely make me feel the best afterward.

Don't really know why I'm angry today. Everything just seems to frustrate me. I want to scream and cry and break things all at once. I have energy to do something, but when I really get down to thinking about it, I am too tired. I want to sleep but know that if I sleep now I won't sleep tonight, and I have to work tomorrow.

I should go do laundry, but Erik just put some down I think. I need to make my bed and clean my room a bit, but that doesn't sound interesting either. I have no video games to play, really, and can't afford to go get anymore right now. Ugh... I really am pathetic today.

I don't know if I am hungry, I just had a salad at Red Robin about two hours ago. Maybe I need a munchie, like popcorn or something.

Anyway, I'll quit bitching. I'll go do my laundry now.

~See you, Space Cowboy...

Here you go, sorry it took so long, but here's images of me as Tifa from Sakura con! I waited until the snow and hail let up for a day so I could get pretty ones. Enjoy!