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InSearchOfSunrise's Banter |
A collection of poetry, daily happenings, and perhaps, a song or two. |
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InSearchOfSunrise
Community Member
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Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2019 @ 04:07pm
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Reminiscence of Days Long Past
I've been in my current location for about two and a half months, now. It's almost time for me to return to my home. But, in my short time being here, I've been reminded of everything I used to partake in when I was younger.
Interesting changes of the weather, first and foremost. It's been blazing hot and humid, torrential rain, followed by a three-day wind that never subsided so long as the clouds were overhead, then. . . blue sky as far as I could see, accompanied by the gentle crisp cool of autumn. This place never changes. Everyone always says "If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes - it'll change." While not exactly true, it doesn't take long for the weather to make a shift. And, as I gaze out the window, there seem to be storm clouds on the wind. And I was getting used to the sun on my face, again.
An old acquaintance became a new friend. As the center of the clique we had, he was the person who held everybody together. He organized, he hyped events, he communicated. He was a friend, and the epitome of one, too. As things are in our shared occupation, he's gone now. Luckily, he's moved to great things. Hopefully, he has. He was very apprehensive, but cheerful about it. The group gave as much advice as they could, but he is still his own man. He will make choices that define who he is. Me and another of our group made a small. . . wager with him, though. And I intend to keep it - especially since all three of us are in close proximity to each other.
I've been reminded of things that I used to enjoy, as well. No bar-crawling, or debauchery. None of that - I've never really enjoyed it. Running along the beach has always been fun. Driving, for no reason other than because I can. Checking trinket shops for interesting little baubles. And - enter fanfare music here - playing tabletop games. Dungeons and Dragons! Yeah, baby! Yeah! It's been a hot minute since I played the game, and I've been looking for people to enjoy it with for quite some time. The only issue? Nobody plays the game where I live. Nobody. Everyone is more interested in cars - which are fun, but expensive - or, they want to spend time in the night life, which has no interest to me anymore. I'm too old for that sort of thing. It's almost like inviting a younger high school teacher to the class party. I don't have the time, nor the patience, for dealing with people that age.
As well all the fun that has rushed back, I'm reminded of things I detest about that area. First and foremost: the weather. Yes, it makes its mark on both ends of the spectrum. I hate the weather here, but I enjoy being in an area that actually has more than one season. Living south of here doesn't bring any semblance of Autumn, or Winter.
I'll have to find more to comment on, at a later time. My attention is being drawn to something, once again.
Until later. . .
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Posted: Mon Mar 07, 2016 @ 04:33am
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Her
So, where did everything go? I know it's been almost... 13 years. Really? 13 years? Damn, it has been a while.
But, seriously. Where is everyone? I remember this place being unstoppable when it comes to the un-ending stream of comments, and forum posts. I remember there being endless romances throughout the forums. I remember artists, and writers, and jesters, and serious folk looking for an outlet. Where did it all go?
Me, personally, I remember being in love. I remember someone on this forum that I hold very dear. I remember. It's been 13 years, but I still remember her face.
I remember her clothing, I remember her face. Her hair, Her little ducky. Her eyes. Most importantly, though, I remember her smile. She was so beautiful, and in my mind, she's still just as gorgeous as the day I saw her.
I know things change, and people change the most. But, I would've held this place forever. Most of the people that used to visit here have gone on to something else. Gone on to someone else.
It makes sense, though. The internet is not solid. It's always in motion. It's always changing. The people that came here yesterday may never come back. It's a trend... always in motion...
There is one constant, though. I'll never forget one thing. That beautiful young woman, who I said "I love you" to so many times.
I. Will. Never. Forget...
Her...
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InSearchOfSunrise
Community Member
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InSearchOfSunrise
Community Member
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Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2015 @ 04:36am
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Mountain Dew, Chinese food, and ghost stories
Been doing a lot of reading the past couple of days. Stuck in a dispatchers office all night leaves you with a lot of free time. So - like any reasonable person - I dawdle on the interwebs. I just don't understand how I always gravitate back here. Maybe it's a subconscious need to check in? I can't explain it.
It's not bad, by any means. There's someone here who I still think about, and I'm still impressed that I'm not forgotten. It's. . . touching, in a sense. I've gotten better friendships over this forum than I have in reality. It's amusing, actually. To think that a person a continent away, communicating through one's and zero's across miles of cable could have more grit and more meaning than being face-to-face with someone. Being an internet junkie, it makes perfect sense. To someone of a more. . . professional nature, it's insane. Well, find the colour for insane, and douse me in it.
Sigh. I should probably make my own profile layout. I like the themes that are posted across the net, but I really want to make one of my own. It just seems like a lot of effort to put into something that I don't regularly update. I could go with revamping the entire thing. . . or at least editing it some.
Sitting here with the remnant of my dinner in front of me, wondering where I can go for a good ghost story. You know, one that keeps you awake at night, constantly peering over your shoulder because you can't break that feeling of eyes in the corner? I want one of those. Too bad I can't find any like that. I've been going through /r/nosleep on reddit, and nearly every story turns out to be a work of lame fiction. I want something real.
I've been trying to get the name of an asylum from one of my co-workers. The place lays abandoned, decrepit, closed-off from the public, yada yada yada. I still want to go there, just to walk around and snap a few photos. Stay the night? Umm. . . We'll see. I'll have to get a good layout of the place in my mind before I make that decision. I can't say I'll stay if I can't find my way out. Well, if I can't find my way out, I guess I'll stay - just against my will.
Been debating about getting a tuning tool for my car, too. It'll open up a bunch of options for power from the engine, and it's the stepping stone for in-depth modifications. The downside: it's $650. I could get it right now, if I wanted. But, I do have bills that need to be paid. Also, there's the whole thing of. . . well, it's $650. I can't just drop that on a whim. I don't know where to go for upgraded maps, or anything like that. Using them is simple enough - just plug-and-play into the diagnostics port - but uploading modified maps for the ECU can be a little tricky, especially if they're user-made. Last thing I need is for my engine to blow because someone wanted to troll a map.
Ugh, I've been dealing with a headache for the past four hours, now. It's not getting any better, either. I would love some Advil, or some Tylenol, or something. Too bad all the druggies are using their own supply, and they aren't sharing. How selfish.
Time for some digression, though.
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Posted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 @ 04:13am
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Oh, Aki. . .
You truly are a darling. And, I mean that. I didn't know that I told a slight fib. Not intentionally, of course. I said that it had been about three years since I was last on these forums. And, she kept track of time. It's been a couple years.
Yes, only a couple. Even still, that's a fairly long time without checking these posts. I know that there are several people that have been gone longer than I have, and I applaud them. I'm sure they've got a much more interesting life than what I'm experiencing, right now. That's not to say I don't do my fair share of activities. I'm currently waiting for the snow to pile up, so my dogs have leap through the snow, rather than walk. Last I checked, it's about 6 inches deep. Still not enough, if you ask me. On the flip side, I'm sure there are a few people that would wish to have only a few inches, instead of a few... feet.
Oh, but my dear, Aki. She truly is a sweetheart. To think I would come back forgotten. She still remembers me, and openly talks with me as well. There isn't anyone else I would rather talk to than her. She will always have my unconditional love.
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InSearchOfSunrise
Community Member
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InSearchOfSunrise
Community Member
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Posted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 @ 05:04am
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Working late
It's a little difficult, working on a page that doesn't use the CSS of the website you're on. This is that case, right now. I'm on a PC at work, and the machine don't utilize a lot of the styles, templates, java, and scripting that the design team at Gaia put in to make the site look the way it does. To me, I see a lot of empty space, plain blue links, the text area for my journal entry, and my avatar image. I can manage, but it's a little annoying knowing that there's a lot of flair missing, at the moment.
Looking back on my previous decisions tonight, I should've done a little more planning on how I'll be making it through tonight. I fell asleep a little late last night, since I was doing some necessary reading. Well, not exactly necessary, but it seems that every time I start to read The Wheel of Time series, I stop most of the way through. Only thing is, I'm just about done with book 5, and I've got another 8 that I need to finish. I'm not even half-way, this time. I needed to get some reading done, and in that sense it was "necessary reading".
So, I fell asleep late, had to get up fairly early, got to work and crashed in my office for a few hours. That was actually pretty nice. The only good thing about being at work on the weekend is that I can sleep in the shop without having any consequences. In fact, if you have a late shift, it's encouraged. I like it. It's nice, secluded, quiet, and only... 3 people - myself included - have access to it, tonight. It was nice. Had a strange dream, though.
After the early-day nap, I pretty much stayed awake for the rest of the day, watching the Travel Channel. They were airing a lot of shows about food - glorious, glorious food. Oh, man was I hungry. I mean mouth-watering, lip-smacking, stomach-grumbling, "I-wanna-eat-the-TV" kind of hungry. It was pretty bad, and it didn't help that lunch was of such great cuisine, Gordon Ramsey would be having nightmares at the thought of it.
Fast-forward a few hours, and it brings me to heading down out of the office and watching some more Travel in the lounge. Ghost Adventures was airing back-to-back-to-back episodes, and I love that show. Makes me wish there was a TV here, so I can watch it while on shift. I can't even get reception on my phone, either. It's almost like I'm disconnected from everything. I can still use the internet - obviously - but it's so locked down, I'm impressed that I can get here without running into an issue.
I didn't eat dinner, either. So, I'll be dealing with even more hunger later on the shift. I should be able to stave it off, at least until the morning when I can get some breakfast. And, with the first yawn on the night, I know it will be a long wait until that actually happens. I've got another three hours of standing here, doing practically nothing. I mean, there's only so much you can do on a computer. I should've brought my Kindle, in hindsight.
I'm curious as to how Miss Chow is doing... I'll drop her a line, and see how things are for her. I really do miss her. A lot...
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Posted: Sat Jun 22, 2013 @ 05:29pm
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Oh, man, I'm full. . .
As the title suggests, I think I may have over-eaten. Considering what I'm about to be doing, a decent meal, but not too heavy, would've been much better than the heavy foods I just gorged on. Sweet potato fries usually aren't that tasty to me, but they were offset with the mashed potatoes. I know, so many starches. But, the bratwursts were the real heft of my lunch. Ugh, just thinking about food is making my stomach churn with anger. I don't think I could eat another bite of anything. Certainly not the best day to be my tummy.
As I hinted at before, me and a few others are about to do some rigorous stuff shortly. Ships don't pull themselves in, you know.
EDIT: Well, the ship pulled in, and its secure to the pier. I must say that 40,000 tons of steel pulling against a rope width of a person's wrist makes an extremely ominous sound. Luckily, none of the lines snapped, or broke. The nylon lines are notorious for causing severe damage to anything and everything around it when it breaks.
I'm back to my home away from my home away from home. Going to have to stay the night, like I always have to, these few days. At least it's quiet at night - unless there's a needlegun above your head. But, if it isn't quiet, at least it's nice and dark when you lay your head down to sleep - unless someone feels the need to rearrange their locker utilizing every light known to man. Even then, if it isn't either of those, it's nice and cool at night - unless the A/C plant is down for repairs. Come to think of it, I hate this place. I want to go home.
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InSearchOfSunrise
Community Member
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InSearchOfSunrise
Community Member
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Posted: Fri Jun 21, 2013 @ 10:42pm
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Three years. . .
It's been over three years since the last time I came here. I got a tweet from someone on - of all things - a ThinkGeek order, and their Twitter icon was of a Gaia avatar. The person will remain anonymous - I may look them up, and see if they exist here - but it got me thinking about the forums, again. So, I decided to drop a line on my phone, see if there was an application for it. Lo, and behold, I'm back.
I found out my Gaian sweetheart is still active in the forums, and it's great to talk to her again. I'm glad to hear that she's got her schooling done, as well. I'm quite proud of her. And, everytime I see her posts, I remember her photos. She's still gorgeous in my mind. No amount of time can ever mar her beauty.
Listen to me! Gushing over someone like that! It's quite out of character for me. I should be at least more refined than that. I don't know, though. It's really been great to come back and see that - for all the innovations that people have - this place has yet to change since 2007-ish.
It's been interesting the past few years. I'm still in the same God-forsaken area, and it's still grating on my nerves. Yet, for all my complaining about it, I have yet to take any action to move away. It's probably because I have all of my belongings here, and I'm settled as much as I can be. What with my apartment filled with all my stuff, and two pups that get along with the people around, it's no wonder to see that this place isn't as bad as I make it out to be. True the traffic sucks, drivers are insane, and people are rude at best, but this place is my home. Well, as close to home is for someone that moved here for a temporary stay.
Sigh. I'll be on here more often, than not. I don't think I'll be leaving the area for any extended periods of time in the near future.
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 @ 09:42am
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Holy s**t. . .
I must be out of my mind, coming back here. Just when I thought I left an old life behind, I come across a rogue memory and check back into it.
Wow, this place has changed. So many new people, and so many people who have left just like I did so long ago. People moving on with their lives, hopefully for the better.
Do I regret leaving Gaia? Yes, and no.
Yes, because I had some good experiences here. I made a few friends - that I knew deep down I'd never meet. In hindsight of that, I gave someone my heart, and every thought that passed through my mind. I don't feel foolish about it, either. In fact, I feel bad I did that. Not sure how she reacted, but it's a possibility that I broke her heart. Did it actually? You'd have to ask her, because I don't know.
No, because it helped me move on with life. Considering how little my opinion was seen, understood, or appreciated, it allowed me to direct it to something much more productive. I've made so many changes in my life - from location, to career, to relations - I doubt the people that I used to talk to here would even remember who they were talking to. My habits, my pleasures, and my ideas have all changed - partly because of Gaia.
Should I have ever come back? Like I said, this was a life I thought I'd left behind. Everyone has to face their demons, eventually. Is Gaia one of my demons? I doubt it, but it's something I should check in on every once in a while, I guess. It's not like this place is anything I should ever fear of coming back to, it's just that there's so much else in my life that I put a much higher precedence to.
And, for everyone that does remain here? Don't lose scope of your life through the image that the screen in front of you portrays. What does the world like? Hopes and dreams - particularly at dinner time. Hold strong to what you truly desire. Did it happen for me? Somewhat.
I can say I'm content with where I am in my life. I have a sound career, now. I'm no where near what I was doing, nor what I was going to be doing, had I stayed home. I left my hometown, joined an ideal that I believed in, and let things develop from there. And, since those 5 years have passed, I can say I'm content. Not quite happy, but still satisfied. I could leave right now, and I'd be happy in about 11 hours. My happiness lies that far north.
And, now, I complete my short essay. I've had my number of ups and downs. But, the ups most certainly outweigh, and outnumber the downs. As I keep pushing on through an unforgiving today to a hopeful tomorrow, the ups continue to increase. I'll try to make the time to check in here, regularly. If you leave me anything to respond to, I'll get to it. Not too sure if anyone will, but...
... the invitation has been sent...
... and I'm only waiting for the RSVP.
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InSearchOfSunrise
Community Member
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InSearchOfSunrise
Community Member
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Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 @ 12:35am
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Scooby Three!
Haven't been here, in a while. What's new?
Talk with Kienan down to All Aspects Motorsports - am I getting paid for advertising? - about getting a new air-flow system for my Angel. Catted up-pipe, 3" smooth-bore down-pipe, 3" stock-looking exhaust. All together, it'll give the tone I want, and the response I've been looking for. And, for 1600, it's cheaper than going and finding all the parts on my ownsome. . . unless I want to E-Bay, or craigslist it all. Uh, no.
Been down to Perry Subaru and talking to Brad about starting on getting some suspension improvements. I've got a set of strut tower bars on order. They should be in by the end of the week. It'll give a more go-kart feel; hugging the turns rather than rolling through them.
I'm still on the lookout for a new set of wheels and tires. The ones I was looking at apparently don't have the grip and traction as advertised. I'll look into getting some Nitto tires, instead. I'm sure the INVOs are expensive as hell, but I think they'd be worth it.
Currently looking for a course I can do a time-attack on. Haven't been able to find one that isn't a NASCAR oval. I'd prefer a road course, as opposed to a big circle. We'll see what comes up.
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