I have found that the only times when I have been semi-happy in the last week or so is when I was with my friends and the tree at school or when I was reading the really cool book that one of my friends lent me. I'm falling apart. My English teacher thought I was glaring at her while she was describing the beginning of the new poetry unit, but I was actually just thinking about other things (and paying attention too...). She asked if I disliked poetry and, of course, I said I did like it. The remainder of the class period was spent by me trying to work on the homework that is due next week and two of my friends trying to cheer me up. They succeeded in getting me to laugh a few times, which did me a bit of good, but I wasn't truly "happy". I miss that carefree joy that used to come so easily. What happened...why do I feel so sad lately? I wish there were someone to talk to, but I'm all too afraid to approach anyone. I know that my friends and maybe even some strangers would be understanding, but I have trouble. It's a combination of my lack of self-confidence and a large amount of shyness. Somehow I have to muster up enough courage to tell someone other than my computer. I also have doubts about what would happen if I did talk with someone...what would I say?
I wrote a sad song (which I rarely do...) It let me release some of my negative energy, but it did not ease my pains. My grades are dropping...it seems I have a curse upon me which causes all of my important papers and tests to get 93s. Why?
I still have to see the trainer everyday at school about my knee, and I can only jog until it gets better. It hurts to run. I think that's why I'm sad...
Running makes me happy (yay for endorphins!), and suddenly not being able to do more than a mile is hearbreaking and frustrating.
I wish people were not judgemental. Why do we not love eachother? I'm glad we're such a diverse species.
Sauvez les arbres.
crazypenguin Community Member 
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