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Dear Journal,

My life suck, last year, I lost a lot of blood..and i thought I was going to die..
I had a lot of infections...yada yada bleh bleh..

When I was dying all alone in my bed...
I knew that nobody cares about me..
I knew that I was meant to be alone in my life...forever...
struggling alone to survive by myself..
while others laugh at me....taunted me...humiliate me...like I was some kind of animal.
In my college, the staff always do their best to pull me down...trying to find my weaknesses...i was like a sheep being preyed everyday by wolves...snickered at my failure, laughing at me while i get humiliated infront of everybody...why don't they just get a life and after that dies..
no one would help me..
no one would lend me their shoulders to cry on..

the nephew that I loved like my own son being taken away by my irresposible sister
she never really love him...the way I do...
I took care of him full time...since he was born..I fail my grades because of that..
my big sis came back from KL...i thought she'd appreciated what I have done...
what i have to endure to protect her son..from harm..i rescued her baby from my abusive big bro...i had to take a lot of blow from the womanbeater...when she came back..she said that..I was useless and lazy..what b***h

My big bro on the hand...is a lazy piece of s**t likes to download porn..and he said I was the one who mess up the com with the webcam...as far as i know..webcam doesn't do stuff like that..he took away my cam and hid it..

He's always sabotaging stuff that i like to play with..
deleting my saved games,deleting my assignments, ******** up with my ym,beating me up, takes my own stuff away from me
i guess I was meant to be sad and depressed person..
I hate him so much I wish that one day somebody would chop his hands and legs off..

I don't know how much longer i can lived in this world with my ailments..
I wish Allah would give me a chance...another chance...in life..maybe one day i could have a loving family of my own..Oh please My Lord, give me another chance..until I got my own family...
I don't know how much long I can take...with my horrible past...neighbours who gossips about me...everywhere I go...I feel like an outcast...I don't belong anywhere..

Anyway,I'm bored....Diana out...