Man, haven't posted here in a while. Apprently more popel than I orginally thought read this thing, as I had to go through and delete some spam comments. Anyway, this is my venting page, where most of my friends cant get to. I've had alot on my mind. Work and the like. but also something else. Knowing me, I'm proably freaking out over nothing, but for some reason I have been feeling lonelier than usual. I dont know why. I guess its jsut my lot in life. I know that I will always be alone, and that if I ever liked someone, I could never tell them, espically if they were my friend. Because I know they could never like me back. It would just make things weird between us, espically if they had to TELL me they didnt like me. So should that ever happen, it would be in my best intrest to keep it to myself. That way, I wouldn't let my personal feelings get in the way of a good friendship. I know its the smart thing to do. I know its the Vulcan thing to do. But when I think about it, i still get sad. Because it reminds me how alone I will be forever. No one should have to live with the fact they are going to be alone forever. In the end its my job to sacrifice my happiness so that others can be happy. It's my duty and my destiny. Much like a superhero. A line from Spider-man really reminds me of that.
"I wanna tell you the truth... here it is: I'm Spider-Man. Weird, huh? Now you know why I can't be with you. If my enemies found out about you... if you got hurt, I could never forgive myself. I wish I could tell you how I feel about you..." Peter Parker, Spider-Man 2
That isnt the only thing on my mind, but jsut one of the many. Some of which have nothing to do with that. Sorry for this post to anyone who actually reads it, but i really needed to vent, and this is, after all, my venting journal. All in all I think I will be ok. Things are looking up!
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