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Amelia and Alison have been gone for such a long time. I kind of feel like Amelia looked up to me and wanted to do the same dangerous, reckless things I do. I never counted on her running off like this. I can't claim she's wrong, because I do the same thing... but I feel more confident in my own abilities to not get myself killed. I'm sure she thinks she's invincible too... I know I'm being a hypocrite here, and I'm not about to stop exploring. I just know that it is dangerous. I suppose risking my own self is something I'm okay with, but it hurts that Amelia could have gotten herself hurt or killed trying to do the things she watched me do over the years. Maybe even Alison is trying to do the same... Should I feel bad about that too? We aren't exactly friends, but still... I don't want anything bad to happen to her either.