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No matter how public or private an online journal is, I seem to take advantage of it. A journal is a place for thoughts, no matter how odd, sad, or ******** up they may be. I'd hate to be a random person and stumble upon these entries. If I were not me, I wouldn't want to speak to someone who talks so negatively...who thinks so cynically. Maybe I am the problem.

There's no maybe about it. I'm toxic. Even in this journal, I play the victim almost constantly.

I don't mean to but...god, I'm damaged. It seems like an excuse but...I don't know how else to feel.

I'm trying to change but god, sometimes it's so hard...I'm just trying so hard...

Doesn't it seem so predictable? Some teenager ranting about how difficult things are.

Sometimes things really are hard, though...

I guess I just need someone to really talk to.

I'm tired. Goodnight, journal. Thank you for listening.