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When I was little, I learned to sew. Not for myself, but for a very dear doll to me. The first outfit I made for her was in my big blue saucer chair: A purple felt dress with the waist cinched tight by embroidery floss. I made her a circlet out of gold pipe cleaner and named her after her "mother" (a similar doll inherited from my aunt, back when she was still approximately functional) and my favourite bible story.

That's right... this was so long ago, I was still approximately Christian. I named her Esther Rose, by the way.

Anyways.

I eventually learned to sew a bit better. My dresses got more sophisticated until I broke poor Esther Rose. Her story has a happy ending, by the way. I repainted her a few years ago and made her a rather nice smock. She looks a little bit undead, which is appropriate enough, and she's sitting beside me as I type. So is her "mother".

But I didn't fix Esther Rose for many years. I got another doll that was, again, similar. I learned how to use a sewing pattern and made dresses for her. Her name was Penny, but I didn't like the personality she developed. She was a bit of a priss, unlike Esther who wasn't afraid of anything. So I started sewing (and crocheting) for a little cloth Williamsburg doll, Sarah, until I stopped. Until I ended up with a nude doll in time for the 2008 Olympics. That was the first dress I really put a lot of work into. The hem was rolled and my stitches were so tiny, you can't even see them. I went through an entire audiobook and most of the opening ceremonies making that dress. No idea what happened to the doll. I never liked her very much. But I still have the dress.

A few weeks ago, I ordered a tiny little doll. Well, preordered. I've one more layaway payment, and I probably won't get her until December. Production takes a while. I shouldn't have ordered her with a faceup, since they aren't terribly hard, actually, but her tiny size intimidated me.

She's only 27 cm tall. For context, that's about two finger widths less than a foot. It's easier to think of cm in terms of practical measurements--a foot is a bit more than the length of my forearm. An inch is about the width of my thumb. My fingers are a bit more than a cm wide each. 45 cm is larger than you think--about a foot and a half, which is also larger than I tend to think. 42 cm is somehow smaller than I tend to think.

I feel like I should feel a bit stupid about spending so much (more than I've ever spent on anything at once, except a computer) on something so small. But I mostly feel excited. I miss my dolls from when I was little. I miss playing with them. I would take Sarah to school with me in fifth grade, because I didn't have any friends to speak of. My best friend... also named Sarah, as it happens, and that's purely a coincidence because I didn't name either of them... abandoned me because she wanted to be popular. I never understood it. I don't understand why she continued to badmouth me, over five years later, to a different friend who happened to run into her. He was a better friend. He told her to bugger off. He just proposed to his long-time girlfriend. I hope he's happy.

Esther Rose was a very tall doll, really. 18.5 cm. I just checked against a ruler. I mean, that's shorter than 27cm... but not by so very much. Ten cm isn't very many cm. The new doll won't be able to wear any of Esther's old dresses, but I didn't save any. Mostly, they fell apart. She might be able to wear the 2008 Olympic dress. I hope so. It would be nice if she could wear something well made straight off, even if it isn't a perfect fit. She'll already have to be bald for a little while, until I can make her a yarn wig.

I've enjoyed making yarn wigs. I already posted pictures of the teal one I made. I think I could make a nice blonde one as well. I'd be a bit worried about the bulk on so small a doll, though.

Anyways. Maybe it was stupid to order the doll. But I know I'll enjoy her. I know she'll make me happy. Her small size means that she'll be almost familiar to play with, because of what shaped me. I love dolls, which is probably why I don't have a partner myself. Well. Maybe I'll find someone, someday. Maybe not.

I hope I do.

Until then, I don't think I've done anything too terribly stupid.

Cheers,
Lys.