I have read numerous articles about the terrible thoughts about needing to reveal injury facts to your t, although I am hoping this isn't absolutely mad. I'm coping with almost the opposite.
I have many 'troubles' that I am aware of from an emotionally/verbally abusive stepfather to an adult that I trusted being a maternal figure that later showed she had other suggestions for the relationship in HighSchool... and then what is daily becoming more of a guarantee that I have repressed very early neglect (I have always had terrors but am not experiencing his and my speech in my head which isnot nice exchange of words)... I've NEVER told information on any one of this stuff. I've mentioned to two individuals who "something" occurred with this particular person that was the extent and I respected. Photos, small video in my mind of the ones I recall and today these sounds of what I think plague me.
I have discovered that I am unable to tell him SOMETHING if he does not ask and am working with a t. I've told him this and he's proficient at trying to ask me questions. The thing is, I also can not tell him things to ask. I understand it might seem absolutely crazy, however it is much like I am prohibited to just openly tell things-but I am permitted to answer honestly. He's gone forward and backward about 'handling' stress after which I believe I am so silent about things going on he does not believe they starts to believe we have to go another direction and are. I get disappointed when I hear him talk about not addressing the trauma exclusively and obtain quite depressed and want to stop trust about ever getting relief. It is like I KNOW I've to have these details out but I cannot tell him that. I think he's also worried I can't handle coping with the stress directly due to my anxiety attacks, but I donot learn how to alter any of this. He covers stress as you can and looking to take action with as small detail and I have learn about I want to talk, but cannot every one of these new solutions to take care of PTSD without detailed control, but I would like it so bad.
Does this seem sensible to ANYONE? I know I'd be REMARKABLY embaressed to state what exactly I would have to and that I expect it isn't something ill building me need to... But I'm so worried we'll spend years tiptoeing around the specifics since he thinks I'm frightened and that I am seriously attempting to spill the beans. I hope I can tell him this, however it is not allowed.
