Thinking of moving to Miami? Thats cute. I give you two years.
But wait! you say. I like sun! I like palm trees! Heck, I even like Cuban food and Salsa dancing and got a B+ in 12th grade Spanish! I KNOW Miami is the place for me!
Think again, oh freezing cold northerner. There are reasons the average American doesnt stay here more than a couple of years, and its not because they hate 80 degree days in December.
If you came here for a week and thought Miami was your new home, heres 25 realities you need to accept before you make our skyline your background on Facebook (even though you probably already have).
1.Jobs are scarce People are always trying to move here. Businesses at least ones that dont involve bottle service or sushi are not. You do the math.
2.You have to drive like a maniac to survive Everyone in Miami knows the slowest way to get from Point A to Point B is by following all the traffic laws.
3.Nothing runs on time This becomes infuriatingly clear the first time you arrive on time for dinner starving - and have to wait an hour and a half until everyone else shows up.
4.Its frustratingly transient Living in Miami for an extended period of time is kinda like being the last guy alive at the retirement home.
5.You will be an outsider You wont understand the water cooler banter. You wont be able to make small talk with strangers. And you wont get unfunny jokes that people laugh at anyway. Actually, this one might be a plus.
6.Everyone lives at home Getting the third degree from your dates father didnt end when you graduated High School! People in Miami live at home until theyre, like, dead.
7.Salaries dont come close to cost of living Employers seem to think $30,000 a year is perfectly reasonable when a decent apartment costs a grand. They must figure everyone is living at home.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaiEqjFu5IQ
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