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Ah Gaia.

I spent years with you, hun. You gave me friends. And amusement. Stopped the boredom. You made me have an opinion. You helped me grow. And you gave me love.

Then I gradually forgot about you. I popped round less frequently until I stopped coming altogether. Because love and life took over. You brought us together and you became a sidenote we rarely mentioned in our "How did you two meet?" story. A vague memory of the teens we once were. We outgrew you.

What followed was glorious though. With futures to look forward to. Definitely a wedding. Maybe babies some day.

It didn't happen. I don't believe everything happens for a reason. I can't believe that there's a sadistic a-hole up there who would take perfection away from me, for any reason. My happily ever after got smashed to bits one gasping breath at a time. And then nothing. Quiet.

I don't remember too much of the weeks after that. Maybe that's for the best. Agony needn't be at the forefront of one's mind.

Nearly 3 years on and I'm coping. I am stronger and I can honestly say I am happy most of the time. I try to be better, not bitter. I still miss him though. Not a day goes by when he's not in my thoughts, but I get on with life.
What else is there?

And then I found you again, Gaia. You hold memories. You kept 'em safe for me all these years.

At first, you were a crutch. Something for me to read when I was feeling particularly alone. And something to help me cry, when the tears are straining to get out, but I wouldn't allow it. My vault of reminiscence.

I didn't stick around long, again. You had held those precious moments for me, but I wasn't ready for any of the rest of it. I was scared, and alone and not in a good place.

Now I find you to be a haven. You've changed, but so have I. It's a fresh start perhaps. I'm glad I find you well.

Thanks.

<3

*based on a forum post back in 2012

*I still effing miss him ok.