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Tired of it.

What I feel for you is not love, it's something else. It's something sinister and abusive and it scares me. Or rather, the effects and consequences scare me more than that. I don't want to be abusive to you or anyone else. I'm really tired of always thinking about you, because you obviously don't think about me or feel much for me. I would say "Your loss" but I can't, it's not true.
You deserve better than me.

I don't want to hurt you, I don't want to control you or be jealous over stuff you say or do. I don't want to be that person, and this place, or something, I don't know what, makes me that person.
I don't feel like myself around you, I feel like a judgemental, competitive, jealous, cold and cruel person. When you first met me, you met the real me, and then I became strange and stupid. I keep asking you questions just so I can hear an answer that I want to hear.
We both deserve better than this, whatever "this" might be. I don't blame you for making this nothing as I make it everything.
I don't want to be like this any more.
You're not the bad person in this, I am.
I really am sorry for who I have become.