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The messenger chimed once, minutes went by and it chimed again. Derek could hear it across the room from where he lay on his bed. Rumpled sheets and blankets spoke volumes of the troubled sleep he tried to achieve last night. The clock on the stand next to the bed said it was about one o'clock in the afternoon. Another chime from the messenger, he was tempted to answer it. He knew who it was and it gave his heart joy and pain to talk to her. Alon was newly married now and he had no claim to her affections that she seemed to innocently share with him. Nothing they talked about was taboo it was simply an exchange of life's occurrences between friends that had once, long ago, tempted a long distance relationship with one another. But, those feelings never had gone away. Yes, he admitted to himself, the reconnection between them as friends fanned old flames. They both knew it, sometimes they had talked about it. Sometimes wondering how things could have been if circumstances had been different. Those conversations happened a lot when she was feeling neglected in her new marriage. It wasn't to say that her husband Russel wasn't loving, he just spent a lot of his free time on his computer. Talking with his friends online, some of whom he had similar relationships with online. It had caused them tremendous problems in the course of the pair's relationship even before they married. Derek rolled over to his side to stare at the monitor across the room, then at the clock again. He had to get ready for work soon, working two jobs kept him busy but it was a pleasant distraction from the feelings flaring in his heart. Sure there were other women he talked to online, ones he even flirted with heavily; but Alon always seemed to hold a special place in his heart. When they had stopped talking years before he often wondered how things were going for her. Wondering if she was happy with someone new, especially when his relationships were going south. It had given him joy when she sent him a message out of the blue asking if he still wanted to talk as friends. He felt a twinge of hope then, but it quickly was squelched. He was an honorable man, at least he tried to be, but he couldn't fight the feelings that had begun to regrow. The messenger chimed again and he sat up now, lured to the monitor like a moth to flame. But it pained him, he was jealous of Russel and the relationship he had with Alon. Why he couldn't exactly say, he loved her but he couldn't say it was romantic love. It wasn't entirely a brotherly love either, because there was a definite attraction and mild obsession there. Maybe it was love, but he couldn't say because she wasn't in a position to love him back. Hand now hovering over the mouse to bring the screen to life he held back. Eyes down cast he pulled away, he had to pull away. He punched the button to the screen and sighed as a thin flash of light drained towards the center of the screen to shut it off completely. He couldn't deal with this now. Still his heart responded to her summons, he wanted to talk to her, but he couldn't things were getting to serious for him to stay honorable forever. He missed her, the innocent and loving nature she had that didn't seem to judge people unless they proved they couldn't be trusted. He hadn't found that in any woman since and it saddened him. But he made his bed all those years ago when he had followed his attractions and quit talking to her. Now he was doing the same, taking this second job to occupy his time so she would have to focus on her husband. Derek hoped so anyway as he pulled on jeans he had lain out on the dresser. The thought crossed his mind that maybe she could begin to rely on another friend for emotional support when Russel wasn't available, willing, or able to help her through things. It made him jealous because on some level he was obsessed with her. Pulling a shirt over his head and grabbing socks from the drawer he left his room to pull on his shoes and coat. Grabbing his keys from the table he went out the door making sure it was latched behind him. As he pulled away from the curb he chanced a glance to his bedroom window. "I miss you." He whispered aloud as he continued on his way.
darkness11924 · Thu Mar 26, 2015 @ 09:50pm · 0 Comments |
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