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Hello all. My name is Josh along time ago I wasn't the most mentally stable person I tried doing many things to make my life better but always didn't have the strength to follow through with them. I was dating and getting engaged to a beautiful and wonderful girl named jesyka (or lumpyoatmeal on here). I didn't know how to convey my feelings and I was incompetent about her feelings and I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life, I cheated on her. I now know it was lust and I like all young boys are lustful. Due to that there was a pregnancy scare and to hide my own cowardice I attempted a really stupid story which was atomically seen right through. My relationship with jesyka then fell apart as did my support structure with family. I fell into a dark depression where I made up stories to avoid life or to try to get her back. My life then got worse and i.... well I tried taking my own life I had cut my wrist and left a note and the knife and went along my way. I scared my family and the girl I loved. I got help through councillors. I have nothing to hide, I am not a good man nor will I ever be in my opinion.