So today I cried. I haven't cried in years. I spent a lot of my childhood crying, and I have trained myself not too. This was a shock. I did it in front of a friend, in public. Other people could see me. I'm... afraid. I can feel myself breaking down everywhere. I just want to let it out but it shames me to be so weak. I know there is nothing wrong with it but that's how I feel. I wish I could just get rid of my training but it will take time. So much time. And things aren't getting easier.
I don't know for sure but I think I have throat cancer. We are getting the testing done on Tuesday. Or that was the plan. I got a job and had to cancel the appointment so now I have to wait a month or so before I can be tested. The problem with this is: I don't have anyone to help me through it. Sure I have my friends, but I don't and can't rely on them. I just can't. I don't even talk to my family. They don't support anything I do. I mean, I graduated, I have a degree but I am still a disappointment because I didn't go to teacher's college. I decided to go through for psychology instead to be a psychologist. But no, that is a disappointment. How dare I want a job that will actually help me in the future.
I need someone I can turn to. Even if it's just someone on the internet. They don't have to be real, or anything, I just need some support somewhere.
vegetalover168 Community Member 
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