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There's a Fine Line Between Genius & Insanity
My stupid ramblings and inane thoughts. :)
Cons to dating long haired gals.
Alright.
So, in my twenty one years of existence I have always had long hair. Always. And also in those years of existence I have a thousand comments on my beautiful long hair and have been petted by random old ladies everywhere. But there are a ton of complaints that I have received from family and boyfriends (And random people)

Let's start with number one. Kissing.

OKAY. So. Everyone (or maybe just me, I don't even know.) has dreamed of that awesome kiss with your/her hair blowing in the wind and fireworks and butterflies on the top of a mountain with miraculously good weather for a mountain. But with a girl with really long hair, that's probably not going to happen. One, if there is any amount of wind at all your hair is going to go EVERYWHERE. Any open orifice becomes a potential target. The hairs can jump off my head and get tangled in your eyelashes, in your fingers, around your neck. Don't belittle the situation. This s**t is fierce. Also, it gets in your mouth and needless to say, there is nothing romantic at all about this situation. It's actually embarrassing. And by the time this has all happened you're just hoping the hairs will tangle your feet and lead you to your death at the foot of the mountain.



Number two; Tour buses.

So after graduation my best friend and I decided we wanted to take off to San Francisco for a week and just have fun. Part of that fun, obviously, was a double decker tour bus extravaganza over the Golden Gate Bridge. Well, what's the fun of taking a double decker tour bus if you aren't on top with your beautiful hair blowing in the wind, looking gorgeous with your marvelous 'I'm a Tourist!' camera in hand? NOTHING. Little did I know that I was going to become a pest for the people two rows behind me. I am pretty sure I got yelled at in both Chinese and Spanish and ended up having to stuff my gorgeous long locks down into my shirt where they became all tangled and discombobulated and where I looked like a moron. My friend got embarrassed and it ended up making the tour super uncomfortable and ridiculous and I just wanted to sink through the floor and sit on the enclosed bottom.

Number Three; The migrating hairs.

Alright. As y'all probably know, my name is Lish. Like Fish. And every person has that shedding problem at one time or another in life. Well, my hair is kind of voluminous and I tend to shed a lot more than normal people. In our apartment (I live with my boyfriend and his roommate) we have almost all carpet. They have both started to call my stranded hairs, Wild Lish Hairs. LET ME TELL YOU GUYS. THESE BITCHES ATTACK. When you walk across the carpets they attack your feet and cling to your toes. They migrate, too. No ******** joke. I have never stepped a foot into my roommate's room and he comes out bitching all the time that there are balls of wild lish hairs just chillin' and rolling around like tumbleweeds. If I know me and my man are going to wrestle (Usually before a good UFC fight) I have to vaccuum so they don't wrap around our necks and kill us while we are rolling around fighting.

Part two of number three is the shower hairs. Every girl has at one point in their life used the shower walls to get the stray hairs off of their hands. This means that there are stray hairs littering your shower walls. Like seriously, what am I supposed to do?! Do you want me to let them go down the drain because I could do another seven parts to this just about cleaning the shower drains when your hair is three feet long, I swear. It's like looking in the eyes of Satanic Chewbacca.
(In case you thought I was joking... )

(I have a lot of hair.)

Number four, sexy time shenanigans.

Alright, I won't go into a lot of detail here because this is a child's site but okay. Now. Long hair looks really sexy when it's all down and rawr. DO NOT FOLLOW THROUGH WITH IT. SCRUNCHIE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND. Okay. It doesn't help that I have dermals like everywhere. Collarbone, hip, back... So first things first I always keep that little warning bell in the back of my head. Hair gets close to it and it's a danger. RED FLAGS. But secondly, trying to keep your hair out of your face so you can kiss and look somewhat sexy is like ******** impossible. Maybe not for some people but I am painfully uncoordinated. For me it's like torture.

Here's a story about my straying Lish hairs.
I moved to Arizona about six months ago (Roughly) I got a text from my brother about a week ago that had a picture of him sitting in my favorite Chinese restaurant with a three foot long red Lisha hair that he found in his booth. I HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN TO PENNSYLVANIA IN THE PAST SIX MONTHS.

Here's another story.
My boyfriend lives in constant fear now because one time we were in the shower and there was a Lish hair wrapped around his hand when he had soap all on his face and when he washed his face off and turned around to show me the hair it was gone. We never found the culprit. We have trouble sleeping at night.


So I'm not trying to dissaude anyone from dating girls with long hair, seriously, long hair is absolutely wonderful. It's beautiful, attention grabbing and the source of jealously from ninety year old women everywhere. I'm just giving you a forewarning as to what can happen when you move in with and/or date a girl with long hair. Exercise caution, young paddawon. You'll get through this. <3

A f t e r F X
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