Trust, Love, and Masks
This is most recent to my life. All in all, two years of official dating [three years of knowing each other] went down the drain. Things fell apart due to multiple factors that were needed to make relationships run. After the break-up, I found out she has cheated on me 3 times. The more I learn, the more I notice how forgiving and naive I was.
First year was great. Best moments I wish I relived. Second, not so well. Arguments between us over small things came up. Most of them were because of me bringing up issues and concerns about what she has been doing. Prior plans that we make with each other end up being overrun because she forgot or she blames her friends. Late nights working makes it suspicious when its a last minute occurrence. She never gives anyone a heads up on what's going on, so assumptions are always present. Also, questionable actions I had to find out through the grapevines and not through her affected my thoughts. Only then did I confront her did she tell me. Communication and trust were tarnished over time. Sooner or later, the pillars of this relationship were going to corrode and collapse.
I have attempted multiple times to fix this relationship, but you can't fix a one-sided relationship. She had cheated on me 3 times. The third guy she found swept her away. To this day, I can't really be spiteful towards her. In fact, her lessons will catch up to her eventually. My lessons is to make sure that I am as equally committed as my next partner.
All in all, the lesson for you all as readers are this:
1) Trust is key. Without it, taking a relationship on will not be worth it.
2) Communication is needed. Make sure you both are aware of each other's space. Not saying that every little thing needs to be known. Communication can only go as far as your trust is; limitation on what you share is dependent on this.
3) Commitment. If you both are true to each other, this shouldn't be an issue. If you both understand each other's needs, weaknesses, strengths, and styles, commitment will be much easier to apply with each other. Being committed means the both of you will give your all in keeping your relationship running strong. This can't happen if the above two topics are lacking.
If you took the time to read this, thanks. I hope it makes a difference in your future.
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