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sometimes i wonder if finding love is really this hard
or maybe i have found it but i cant see it
my mind is crowded by the world of true and false
and i rather not believe anything at all
im at a point where im afraid of being lied to
im afraid of of accepting what may be the truth
but most importantly im afraid of what ever i may feel turning into something i may regret
so many things continuously run through my head and it leave me weaker than before
i want someone to love and cherish but i want that someone to be my husband before my own child
i dont want to live life as a single mother one day
praying and hoping that a man would someday realize im what he wants
and have that same man love and cherish me along with a child that is not his
i dont want to be like other women in this world
having babies with men and yet and still no man to call her own
im afraid of being like everyone else
im afraid that i may not ever get what im hoping for
im afraid i may one day settle for less
and im afraid of not knowing when or how to love
when will i have someone to love and cherish
someone to awaken to everyday of my life
someone who isnt blood to me but family all the same
i guess i need to stop being afraid
i guess i need to accept this world
i guess i should follow my gut instincts
but what if all that too is wrong
being afraid has me weak
being afraid has me second guessing
and being afraid has me