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My Reality Checker
Because sometimes reality crashes a hole into your wall.
Religion + Politics vs. Me
So yesterday (posting this late because being on the verge of tears makes it hard to type) My coworkers found out something interesting about me, and I found out just how religious and political two of them are. So basically here's the scene. I was in the dish room doing the last straggling dishes before we closed, the two cooks are in the kitchen, one's cleaning the grill, the other is just lazing about. The last waitress is in the front area, I can't remember what she was doing. So the cook cleaning the grills (can we call him Jack, I think we will) somehow opened the topic of people that pissed him off (yada yada) and he got to this one point where he said "I think the people that piss me off the most are bi's. I mean you can't like both guys and girls." Now me being in the dishroom, I hoped I heard wrong. So I asked him to repeat himself, stepping into the cook's area so I could make sure I heard right. He, being a dunce, repeated exactly what he said so I looked at him straight in the face and said "Hi nice to meet you, I'm bi, ******** you." The other cook was slightly impressed, and having already knew I was thought it was funny Jack hadn't (we'll call the nice one Bob, because that's the most generic name I could think of that didn't have a secret meaning for someone/something bad) So Bob was all "Yeah didn't you know?" and Jack was "No I didn't, wth, etc." And the waitress up front heard (Let's call her Jill, why not, her and Jack have the same views) and so she started going on about how one of her friends used to be a swinger (someone who dates both sexes in a pattern) because she really liked this one guy but they weren't "serious" and so he slept with other woman etc. And their was something wrong with her head and that Jill thought everyone who was bi must have something wrong with them because most (I stress most so very much) of them have gone through something that makes them that way.
And I get that, I do.
Some people get hurt so bad from guys/girls they create a safe haven and head for the same gender either for a while or permanently.
I'm not dissing those people, at all. They have the right to protect themselves however they see fit.
But I didn't go through that, as far as I can see. Any and most major damage I can admit I brought on to myself, most likely deserved it, and I don't regret it anyways.
I am bi because I just happen to enjoy boobs as much as I enjoy... well... guess.
Anyways!
So Jill was saying how her friend was going to therapy to get better, and to church. And then it hit me. Jack and Jill (lawl) were both religious and political and saw no problem in putting those two together (which, in my opinion, is so severely idiotic it doesn't even fit on the scale of idiotic things to do!). So Jack was just being a general a*****e, as always. Jill was just being... herself... which is upfront, nosy, political as all hell, and apparently religious as all hell also.
Then Jack starts talking about the right for Gays to marry pissed him off too, that he was glad that they had changed it from their right to marry to their right to have a partnership (wtf anyways). And Jill jumped in a bit later saying that it was just wrong for people to be that way, Jack agreeing. Once again stating that he figured you couldn't be bi.
And honestly
He has a point
To a certain line.
Like
When a bi(lets use myself for this, so this bi person is a "she" wink person dates a man, she is, for the moment, straight (a rather slanted or curved straight, but straight nonetheless)
Now when our lovely (ooh the flattering of one's ego) bi friend dates a girl, she could be considered Lesbian.
Obviously.
But what he didn't consider, is that if she's dating no-one. At all. Then she will most definitely being playing for both teams
Trying to catch the eye of someone she deems suitable, man or woman.
So Jack's just not that bright in my opinion, but I'm a b***h so does it matter?
Now a bit later, I'm getting hurt as all ******** hell, Jill pipes in that Gays (both my lesbian sisters and gay brothers) shouldn't have kids. Now. What. The. ********. Hell. Before I could get angry and say quite a few... unkind words... Bob (god I love him a little for how he was this entire situation) popped in saying "But mom (yes, Jill is Bob's mom, they work together, it's awkward and interesting...) there are all these poor people out their having like 14 kids..." and that trailed off because in the midst of getting angry I realized just how hurt I was, so I didn't get to hear the whole statement but it's easy to guess where it was going. A bit after that Jill is starting to roll silverware I walk up to her and say
"You don't believe me, do you."
And she says no, that I wasn't bi and she would talk me out of it because it was against the bible. And she didn't think I was. Um. Ouch. Apparently I'm a liar now. She said some other stuff, I may have forced myself to forget it because all I remember is retorting with "Thanks, I really wanted to hear that." very, very sarcastically.
So I start putting clean dishes away to avoid everyone, Jack goes outside to do something, Bob is sliding around idek what he was really doing, and Jill is cleaning stuff. So as I'm putting stuff away I feel that god-awful-burn-behind-eyes-tears-are-coming feeling and I'm just like "great, just what I need, to ******** cry at work." So I'm completely trying to avoid everyone. All the things that needed to be put away in my area are, or will be by Jack since I'm too short for some things.
So I go up front to roll silverware.
Bob comes up and picks up the tray we have for holding silverware and hits it against the counter that I'm rolling things on.
I'm sitting in a stool on one side
He's on the other hitting the tray against the counter to try and get my attention
I ignore him
I try to at least
I still want to cry so damn bad
And he just, asks me whats wrong and I feel that burn intensify and all of sudden I can't hold it back anymore.
Tears are forming
Some have gotten out already
I'm trying to stop, I'm trying to answer him.
And I do
Without my voice cracking, surprisingly
But I know he can tell, and Jack comes over (here's where I get a major surprise) he tells me to smile (he doesn't apologize, but he's trying to make up for it in his own way)
And Jill walks out of the bathrooms, she was cleaning them
And Bob starts getting on her case about how she was being rude, and she was trying to say sorry and he was telling her to shut up because she made everyone feel bad.
And his kindness was and wasn't helping
Because I couldn't stop crying after that
And then after Bob is somewhat done he storms off, Jack in tow.
Jill apologizes in her own way
Saying "You know I didn't mean you were messed up, don't be mad, this topic was stupid. We shouldn't have started it, who did that anyways. Are you mad?" And I could barely force out a no, because I wasn't anymore. So she asked "Are you hurt?" and I couldn't reply, with anything other than crying harder and still trying to roll the goddamn silverware. So she goes. "You are hurt, I'm sorry." And Bob walks back over, starts scolding her again. And I don't think I talked much after that. I got up, having done all the silverware that could be. Put the tray back, walked off into the back again to look for something to do, as well as to wipe off the tears and try to get rid of them. I walk back into the waitresses area and grab a to go cup, filling it with water and retreating into the back again.
Hiding now.
Drinking water helps me calm down.
So I'm sipping at the water, Jill is doing the till (ooh a rhyme) and she opens the bottom of the stand we have the register on and pulls out some candy and calls for me to ask if I want any
I ignore her
Out of that whole group, I respected her the most (now it's Bob) so her words stung the most.
She finds me and practically forces me to take a piece of candy.
A nice gesture, though I had told her very firmly I didn't want any.
After that we can go, I decide I want to walk home. Bob and Jill offered me rides, Jill I would've just been stony with. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. And Bob... I would've started crying again, mainly because he was so sweet. So I walked home, was on the verge of tears for about 2 hours.
Told my dad I was bi and a brief story of what happened.
My mom still doesn't know
I hope she never knows
...
...
...
Yesterday sucked.








**2015 EDIT**
The jerk out of those two cooks still brings it up and acts all proud about the fact that he made me cry.
We definitely have a hate-tolerate relationship.





 
 
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