I’ve been wading around in self-pity for a few days now. I’m not really sure where it’s sprung from. Probably from a desire to be something more, yet feeling utterly powerless to do so.
Which just isn’t true, or right. I was planning on practicing with my art. I’m only really accustomed to an anime-esque style, and I don’t think it’s too shabby for someone who’s self-taught and has never had a proper art lesson in her life. At the same time, it’s nothing to write home about. I’m trying to expand into realism, too. Something I’ve never been adept at, but I don’t see the harm in trying. I can only disappoint myself. There’s just a lot I want to do. I have so many ideas crammed into my head they’ll be falling out my ears soon. Just think of all the fanart~ Maybe when I get that new art tablet and openCanvas…
;_; My hand is so amazingly sore right now, though. I don’t know what I did, but my right palm is so strained and if I stretch it, yeah, noooo. Hurts like a mofo. I wish someone would hold it, or massage it, or something… It makes me want to cry a little. It was probably from getting a little too overzealous playing video games, haha.
I’ve been having these overly-fluffy thoughts lately. There’s fluffy, and then there’s too much fluffy. It was mostly about cooking, though. I had it in my head that I would make something for you, occasionally asking if you would fetch me this or that, but end up getting it myself anyway. Just an inclusive activity, I guess. It’s silly, right? It makes me think, too. I don’t know much about what you like. I know your fandoms, your games, your taste in music that is wonderfully all over the place, some of your quirks~ Food is different, though. I know you like chocolate, and strawberry, and garlic, and steaky goodness~ You’re not partial to milk (unless chocolate), or cheesecake (the scandal), yoghurt, and you hate coconut; I actually love coconut. There’s just a lot of things I don’t know, and it’s very endearing. You’re quite the interesting character. Forefront of my wonderings is, if I ordered a pizza, what type would it be?
Hmm. I really want to do something special for you. I even have an idea of what I want to do. Might seem a little foolhardy, but. You’re special. Therefore. neutral It’s just a matter of execution, and whether or not you’d actually let me… I highly doubt you would.
Also, I’m glad they finally made Isaak’s taste in lovers’ official. It was a beautiful, masterful scene. As imposing as the man is, he was also afraid the Brotherhood would find out and turn on him. Yet they turned on him anyway, with no inclination as to his secret. It’s just… I don’t know. The man is a God. I would love to draw a portrait of him one day. I think I should stop typing now… My hand is really killing me… Owwie…
