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My girlfriend is living proof that not all women are "complicated".
One of my missions in life is to tear down all the walls and barriers and debunk all of the stereotypes and lies that enforce the illusion that males and females are opposites or inherently different in any way other than reproductive function. Not only do gender roles force each individual to identify by terms and live by rules and standards and characteristics that may not actually apply to them, but they also make it difficult (if not impossible) for heterosexual partners to truly connect with one another. It forces you to see your partner not merely as themselves, but as a man or a woman. However, the ideas that have been drilled into your mind about what defines a "man" or a "woman" may not even apply to that person.

I love when I have proof to debunk these sexist ideals. One that bothers me the most is "women are complicated". My female partner (biologically; she identifies as neither a man or a woman and believes that sex and gender are two totally different things, as do I) is proof that this is not true. When I ask people to elaborate, I always hear the same superficial examples used to explain this belief, and none of them apply to my girlfriend. We have been together for almost six years.

She does not give mixed signals. Not once have I misread her intentions or actions, or misinterpreted the meaning of her words. She is very straightforward and blunt, embraces radical honesty and believes that no good ever comes from speaking indirectly or withholding information. She always states her complaints calmly and clearly and makes her expectations known reasonably. I can only recall one incident in which a conflict between us escalated into a shouting match. She dislikes confrontation and tries to keep them at a minimum, and thinks that grudges are just plain childish. I've never had to answer for something I've done in the past or a problem that's already been solved.

She admits when she's wrong. She's not one of those people who always has to be right or get the last word. After the previously mentioned shouting match, she came to me the following night embarrassed by her behavior and proposed a new strategy to solving our problems. She promised from that moment on (and kept her promise) to always place my needs above her own when they clash. My baby explained to me that in the household she grew up in and in all her previous relationships, everyone sort of fended for themselves and loved ones became enemies. She didn't feel it was okay to attack and become defensive with your loved ones and didn't want us to battle each other. Since then we've both learned (with practice) to focus on the needs and feelings of the other once we have expressed our own. Through this method, we both usually end up discovering flaws in our own logic and stances, and come up with much better solutions than if one of us "won" the argument. You don't know how many times we have both corrected ourselves and we're not ashamed to seek outside help from MUTUAL acquaintances.

She accepts gifts, but doesn't expect them. Her spiritual beliefs disallow her to place value in material objects - that includes sentimental value. However she knows it would bruise my ego to have a gift rejected and shows just the amount of sincere gratitude I need.

Her mood swings aren't "scary". Unless you eat, drink and sleep the exact same way every day, and spend time with the exact same people, hearing the same noises, living the same routine every day, you have mood swings. This is true for everyone. So far I've noticed no change in her mood or behavior before or during her period (other than frequent bathroom visits, for obvious reasons). Any time I have seen her temperament change irrationally, she always welcomes me to help her find balance again. It never takes long or requires much effort. She knows that I know her and trusts when I say, "I understand your feelings better than you do right now. Let me guide you." You know what always works when she's sad or angry? A cat. That's right. Put a cat in her hand, real or stuffed, and it's like a sunrise on her face. Too cute for words. It's actually the only reason I have cats now. That, and she changes the litter box. xD If there are no felines around, I take advantage of her appreciation for humor.

She isn't jealous. She doesn't believe in sexually exclusive relationships and neither do I. Her and my husband get along great. She doesn't pry or snoop around (not that I feel she's the kind of person I need to hide things from). Unlike any of my past girlfriend, she's never, not even out of anger, accused me or implied that I don't care about her.

Yes I am a bisexual male.

She isn't starved for validation. She knows she's beautiful and believes it no matter what other people tell her. She's natural in a lot of ways. Doesn't spend much time in the mirror. When I o think she looks crappy and criticize her appearance, she either takes my advice or does her own thing. No indignity. No fuss. She is aware of her flaws and the fact that I'm aware of them. Her big feet and bad gums and how her skin dries too easily. Her drooling. Shedding hair. How dresses simply do not compliment her bulky figure. She'll simply scratch her hairy armpit and thank me for my input. I wouldn't have her any other way.

Is our relationship perfect? No. But I wouldn't call it difficult. Falling in love with her and being with her is easy for me because it's right and we are compatible. Her and my hubby are the only two people on this side of heaven I could ever love this way. I wouldn't say we have difficult times. We have meaningful times. Times where we must struggle to find solutions to our problems. Where a mutual desire for the other's happiness isn't enough to keep us together and we are required to make serious changes to ourselves and ways of life, blindly trusting that these changes will ultimately save us. So far we have made it through every obstacle but there is always a chance that one day we won't. That is why our relationship isn't perfect. Complicated? No. I see nothing complex about will, compromise and selflessness.

Self-proclaimed women: You don't have to pretend to be a rubix cube in order to keep a man interested. Priding yourself on being "complicated" just so men will applaud your "honesty" borders on pathetic.

Self-proclaimed men: If your girlfriend seems like an alien being speaking another language to you, then maybe you're with the wrong girl. Or maybe you're just shallow and rigid and unable or unwilling to listen and understand anybody but yourself or your ball-scratching retarded gamer buddies who live with their mothers. Maybe you're selfish and uncompromising, simple-minded and ignorant on how to interact with other human beings. Or like I said before maybe you're just incompatible with the woman you are with.

Baby, if you're reading this, Kiss!

I'm tired of the stereotypes, double standards and I'm most definitely tired of people making derogatory comments about my girlfriend when they don't know s**t about her.