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Everytime when it's my time of the month, I feel that I'm the enemy. Like I'm the one to blame for everything. Like I'm their escape goat to blame their problems. As I said in my lat post that Sam and Chelsea were the only ones who unsterstood me. I can tell my parents kinda favor my sister because she's the good child. She doesn't curse, disobey our parents, cause trouble, etc. I'm the who curses 24/7, sometimes disobey my parents and cause trouble for them and I just feel so alone right now because... I don't know.

It's complicated and I just hate so [********] much! stressed And I'm stressed out and even my own mother is saying I should just stay at the house my while my sister and her go to Ohio and pick up my grandmother.

I feel that sometimes their saying in their minds that I'm not worth it, that I'm not good enough to them. And I also feel that they make out my sister to be the perfect one. And it just drives me crazy.

It makes me hate myself so much right now that I should be better off dead at the moment. Would they care if I died? Would they finally see me after I have left them? I don't know what to do right now and I sometime wish my idol was here right now to tell me what to do. Jimmy, please tell what to do?