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I thought for a while about just saying all of it to you, but then I remembered that you leave me mute, silent as the night we stared up at together. Yesterday you left my house with the wind blowing through your hair and a grin on your face, while I just stood watching, speechless, promising myself that I'd say it all to you when you returned. It was something that I can count on: you always come back.

And then I saw you this morning. Your smile was gone. In place of it was the dark thing you'd told me about, and it spoke nasty things to me through that frown that you wore so well. I could have just puckered up and told you everything would be okay, but instead I let you just hold me, letting the dark thing whisper its cruelties in my ear. I should have said it all to you then--those things I'll never say--then maybe some light would have found its way to you. Instead, I let you wallow, and when you left we were both broken hearted.

What I should have said was that you're warm. Warmer than everyone else. I remember the cold nights when you brushed your hands up my arms to fight off the cold, held me to your chest and laughed when I would tremble. Blame it on the cold. The snow fell and the ice hung on the branches of the trees. It was mother nature's funny way with art. You told me about your adventures in the summer. All around me I saw the flowers bloom.

I should have said that all your stories changed my life and the person that I've become. I was once alone and the world stood still while I raced through it, but thank Altana I found you compelling and couldn't resist the urge to stop and take a look.

I should have told you that when I kissed you, then you asked for a second one, my heart stopped beating and hasn't beat since. I've always been standing in beatless comfort, waiting for you to come back home.

I should have told you that you hurt me when you miss home. You forgot that there were people for you here too, but you didn't care. You'd let the dark thing eat you up, and there was no more room for second chances. The world bullied you up and beat you down and you let it. I asked you where the knight was in all of that, and you just shook your head. I was only trying to help. Damn me to hell for making you cry.