Something's wrong with me. I never (EVER!) feel this bad, this long. About nothing in particular. Demons shouldn't feel bad about ANYTHING. Should they? I don't even know what it is that I'm grieving about. What have I done? What am I sad about? Am I just shifting twisting changing into a new being? Are my old ideals of having fun at others' expense and gorging myself slowly draining away with no rhyme or reason and leaving only depression and this gnawing emptiness? I don't understand. (no comprendo, je ne comprends pas, ich verstehe nicht) Maybe I'm having an identity crisis or maybe I'm having a paradigm shift. Maybe I need someone to fill this hole, or maybe I need to be alone. Maybe I don't know what I want, or maybe I know exactly what I want but I don't want to admit it. Maybe I should let myself change or maybe I should resist it and try to stay the same. Maybe I should analyze this deeper, or maybe I should just stop thinking for a while. Maybe I should get some rest. Or. Maybe I should ask for advice. (noséjenesaispasichweißnicht) I don't know. I'm just as lost as you, dear confused reader of the spillings of my heart. Or. Maybe I don't have one.
Codename_Phobos · Sun Mar 13, 2011 @ 02:12am · 0 Comments |