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So I'm finally back home. I must say I'm going to miss being around her, but this is a time for both of us to work on our own things, without distractions. Ive come away from her all the more inspired and self-confident, that when it comes down to it, I can take care of things.

Work is my problem right now; I just can't seem to find a job. Though almost every day I was out, putting in applications and returning to see the positions filled by others... it's rather disheartening. I covered all of Mankato to the best of my knowledge, but now that I am here, I can refresh my search in Waterville and Waseca. There's hope in Brown's, though I may not like the work, it still pays well.

I'm going to start exercising on a much more serious and regular basis. Going to aim to lose 10 pounds at a time, starting by eating less and re-toning everything. My body has just been feeling so worn out lately, it's had me really worried as to my health, and the looming diabetes; most people would just blame the weight, but I myself know that my body isn't feeling normal at all. Not to mention the lung incident... it didn't really scare me, but it more opened my eyes; that I need to take better care of myself.

Fay and I have grown in our relationship with this experience. Maybe a little attached, which isn't a bad thing as long as it's kept in check. We no longer grow tired of each other's company, and it's showed that we can definitely tolerate each other for long periods of time. Right now I'll just chalk my doubts up to her stress; and even I must admit my doubts are outlandish. It's simply my way of protecting myself... outrageously pessimistic to prepare myself for the worst, and be all the happier when the good things come about.

Maybe that's why I smile and laugh loudly when she is around...