|
Is Nothing Ever Enough?
I've just had a long and detailed conversation with someone about Rook [my girlfriend]. I'm calmer now that she's let me rant to her, but I'm afraid I still don't quite understand.
Rook's lied to me on countless occasions, whether it be about her feelings or a recent event, and I can't tell the truth from a lie anymore. I feel like a blind man with no cane, no seeing-eye-dog to lead the way. Are feelings no longer sacred? Did I not get the memo? I'm afraid I'm clueless. Not only has she lied like her life depended on it before, but the lies are getting worse.
She makes a mountain out of a mole hill about the most rediculous things! And yes, I understand that she's shy, but really? Come on. Insecurities, lack of self-confidence...
And it's not like I don't try to help her. No, I'm by her side every day at times, worried for her because she refrains from letting me know what's wrong. Has our relationship really stooped this low? Does she feel the need to lie to me in order to "not have me worry"?
WORRY? I worry more about her statements being true or false than I do about anything else.
Is this a way of building trust? The lying technique? Because I've never heard of it, nor seen it being used. And then, the next day, she's all, "Hello~! How was your day? I love you!" And I'm like "WTF?" because she was just sulking in her little emo corner the other day.
And then she talks about boys she "likes" and her ex boyfriend in front of me?--Her GIRLFRIEND?
Has she no heart? Or be it encased in ICE?...
And, I've gotta tell you--that hurts. Especially when you've had a rough day and you just want to sit there with her...
God... She makes the biggest deals out of the smallest things... I'd bet she could make a cow look like a great stallion if she wanted to...
-Sigh-
Just slit my throat while you're at it, Rook--take the pain that's burrowed into my chest and rip it out of my soul after you strangle me with your lies, because it's not going away, no matter what you say to me.
You wanted my heart, and now I'm handing it to you on a silver platter.
Literally.
|
