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Chuck Norris Facts
List #1

♦The first rule of Chuck Norris is:
You do not talk about Chuck Norris.

♦Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

♦The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

♦Chuck Norris did in fact build Rome in a day.

♦Chuck Norris counted to infinity--twice.

♦When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night,he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

♦Chuck Norris doesn't read books.
He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

♦Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch;HE decides what time it is.

♦Outer space exists because it's affraid to be on the same plantet with Chuck Norris.

♦Chuck Norris is so fast,he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

♦Chuck Norris uses a nightlight.
Not because he's afraid of the dark,but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

♦Contrary to popular belief,there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.

♦When Chuck Norris does a push-up,he isn't lifting himself up;he's pushing the Earth down.

♦If a tree falls down in a forest,does anybody hear?
Yes.
Chuck Norris hears it.
Chuck Norris can hear everything.

♦Chuck Norris played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

♦Chuck Norris does not own a stove,oven or microwave because revenge is a dish best served cold.

♦If,by some incredible space-time paradox,Chuck Norris would ever fight himself,he's win.
Period.

♦When Chuck Norris was born,the only person who cried was the doctor.
Never slap Chuck Norris.

♦There is no such thing as global warming.
Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.

♦Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris.
But usually the grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.

♦Staring at Chuck Norris for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindness and possible feet-sized bruises on the face.

♦How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?
All of it.

♦When you're Chuck Norris,anything+anything is equal to one--one roundhouse kick to the face.

♦Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth then boils the water with his own rage.

♦Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair.
It lies perfectly in place out of sheer terror.