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Something I posted in DLS |
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Edited from the original post.
Dear DLS~
I have no motivation whatsoever to do anything productive for the rest of the semester. I just don't want to work anymore. I don't want to think about anything academic, and just leave my grades the way they are now, take zero on everything else, and not give a damn about school anymore. But I can't. I just don't work that way.
I want to live a relatively carefree life. I don't want to stress about school or the future anymore. I don't want to have to deal with these ugly messes before finals. I want to just live life to the fullest.
If I could plan out the rest of my life right now, this is how it would work:
Get my learner's permit renewed so that I can have my provisional license before Otakon. Continue here at college with moderate concern for my grades, attempting to at least keep my GPA above 2.5, I guess, even though that seems really low to me. Don't stress too much over it, just make sure I can graduate in four years. Don't forget to have fun; go to Rocky and Repo shadowcasts, go to raves, go to concerts, play some DND, see some plays, go out on the town, plenty of "Friday After Five" aquarium trips, try a relationship with a girl, get me some BJDs, yadda yadda. Make friends and get good at writing, drawing, sewing, and singing while I'm here. After I graduate, live at home for the rest of 2013 with a job that will pay a decent amount of money to a fresh-out-of-college kid for about half a year. Quit once 2014 hits, gather friends, and go on a year-long cosplay road trip around the USA, making sure to hit as many anime cons as possible. On said trip, we sing a capella and sell handmade items for a "living"; i.e., our a capella awesomeness on CD, poetry pamphlets, anime convention survival kits/guides, cosplay items, tie-dyed stuff, food, etc. As this goes on, work on some novels. After that happens, find a place to live with Bryce, and marry him when we're ready. Have the most awesome wedding we can plan out; maybe at the Renfair? We'll have two receptions, one for family and one for our friends who will totally get all the silly jokes we'll make. Go on a fantastic honeymoon somewhere awesome where we both want to go, maybe a beautiful national park in the United States. Live a down-low lifestyle for a few years; make some money doing whatever jobs are available to us while I look for someone who will publish me, saving much and spending only what we need to spend. In the meantime, make awesome clothes and jewelry to sell online and/or at Otakon, and do face-ups on other people's BJDs. Get published, enjoy the glow of knowling that people enjoy what I write. Put money in the bank for kids to go to college and to help my parents retire in Florida. Have children, a boy and a girl, and raise them according to what we believe. Raise them to be have better work ethics than we have so they can do better in school and go farther than we have. Maybe adopt another child. We'll have pets too. We'll take our kids to Europe, to Disney World, to Japan, to America's havens of natural wonder, to beautiful beaches and to scores of Renaissance Faires and anime conventions. Maybe also to the Australia Zoo, where my childhood idol, Steve Irwin, did his Crocodile Hunter thing. We ourselves will travel when the children are in college. Once they've moved on, we will too. They'll always be in our hearts, but we will retire happily. I'll probably keep writing until the end. At my funeral, I want them to light candles, share happy memories of me, and lay roses on my coffin. And they will sing "Amazing Grace" and "While Your Lips Are Still Red" and "Float On". I will be remembered as a good and devoted mother, wife, and author.
Sounds like an awesome life to me. If only it would work that way. I know it won't. I'll struggle through college beating myself up over my grades, it'll be a miracle if I get published, and I don't know what the hell to do with my life if I can't write for a living. If I'm ever good at anything other than listening to other people talk, procrastinating on important things, and making an a** of myself, maybe bits and pieces of that will come true. Maybe.
Love, Ashy <3
EvFaerAshlynn · Thu Dec 03, 2009 @ 02:06am · 0 Comments |
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