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thoughts
I wander in my sad sense of self-awareness looking for some sort of stable emotion. My confusion slumped on my back with the rest of my baggage. My positive surreal views crash and give way to my depressing reality. My metaphorical ground is crumbling and I slowly sink into an abyss of despair. I dream of past bliss and relationships and I wake to realize i'm alone and no one can tolerate the real me for long. So i supress my feelings and bury my sorrow in the internal grave i have made for myself. Thinking on my regrets and my short-comings rather then how blessed i am. I think about myself and about the people in the world who are miserable like the small unfed children in foreign countries and the Monstrousity they have to call a government. I think about how my inability to recognize subtle signs and care for a single person for long have probably caused most of the disstress in my life. My lack of confidence has created all my self-doubt and misery. My past loves are just that... my past. They no longer care for me the way I still feel for them. Knowing this tears me to shreds on the inside. So I slowly suffer in this wretched thing called life...
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