||Final Fantasy 6, Star Wars and... US Politicians?
It's a little known fact that I do infact talk to other people on AIM than Athal. Infact, I have four people on my AIM list that are among my most favorite people on earth, those being a man I call Ridley, good ol' Athal, a fellow calling himself Meta Knight, and ofcourse Katsuko Yue. The conversation you'll be peeking into today is between me and Ridley, which caused me to giggle madly through out.
Roll that beautiful bean footage!
*looks over to the TV, which does not infact turn on*
...I SAID PLAY THE ******** CLIP!! >.<
*The TV turns on and begins playing the before mentioned conversation*
Salilus2099: Well, afternoon, but I just woke up alittle
GaggedCenobite: Good afternoon. ^-^
Salilus2099: There was something I wanted to say, but
damn if I remember what.
GaggedCenobite: You were going to shout BUM
Salilus2099: Ohhh yeah!!
Salilus2099: BUM RUSH! *bum rushes for an obscene
number of damage*
Salilus2099: So hows the FF6 progress coming along?
Salilus2099: The best part of the game!
Salilus2099: Between the plain awesomeness of the
scene, and Setzer, the Opera steals the show!
Salilus2099: ...heh heh. Opera stealing show. Oh I'm
GaggedCenobite: Ah, the awesomeness of Setzer.
GaggedCenobite: *slot machines everybody*
Salilus2099: You have no earthly idea how pissed I was
to get the "Both teams die" slot on the final fight with
Salilus2099: That's when I just said ******** it and threw
the Ragnarok at him the next time round.
Salilus2099: The rumors are true.
Salilus2099: My final party always consisted of Terra,
Sabin, Gogo, and Shadow
GaggedCenobite: My parties, if I recall correctly, were
GaggedCenobite: The main one was Celes, Sabin,
Edgar, and Cyan.
GaggedCenobite: not Cyan. Relm.
GaggedCenobite: Second one was Gogo, Cyan,
Umaro, and Strago.
Salilus2099: Someone actually used Relm?
GaggedCenobite: Hell yes.
Salilus2099: I never used her. Ever.
GaggedCenobite: Relm has the best magical capabilities
in the game.
GaggedCenobite: You FAILED.
Salilus2099: Yeah, well Terra learns Ultima on her own,
so ******** off.
GaggedCenobite: The third party, IIRC, was Setzer,
Terra, Locke, and Mog.
Salilus2099: Good ol' Mog.
GaggedCenobite: Someday, I've got to finish the game
without picking up anybody new.
GaggedCenobite: Just Celes, Sabin, Setzer, and Edgar.
Salilus2099: That is the way of madness.
GaggedCenobite: You know it, baby!
Salilus2099: The three groups thing made me really
happy and sad at the same time.
GaggedCenobite: How so?
Salilus2099: Happy because it made ******** sense.
Salilus2099: "Hey uh... how about all of us actually go do
something for once?"
GaggedCenobite: I just want Gau to someday say "I'M
NOT GOING TO STAY BEHIND AND ********
GUARD NARSHE, GODDAMMIT"
GaggedCenobite: In proper English.
Salilus2099: Sad because my Strago and Relm were
horribly under used and I never bother to buy s**t for
people I don't use.
Salilus2099: So they were running around with fire rods
GaggedCenobite: Strago and Relm were both great.
Salilus2099: I eventually pumped Strago up big time and
got him all the blue magic
Salilus2099: He proceeded to rip Kefkas tower a new
GaggedCenobite: Gogo was awesome.
GaggedCenobite: I wonder who he was.
Salilus2099: I say it was an ex-politician from America
GaggedCenobite: John Kerry!
Salilus2099: John Kerry is more of an Umaro in my eyes.
Salilus2099: I can just imagine him randomly
GaggedCenobite: No, that's Howard Dean.
GaggedCenobite: AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO
KEFKA'S TOWER TO TAKE BACK THE
Salilus2099: I wanted him as a president.
GaggedCenobite: A president who could snap at any
minute would rock.
GaggedCenobite: Ah, now to load up the ROM and
GaggedCenobite: Right as Ultros tries to crash the
GaggedCenobite: God, Ultros was awesome.
Salilus2099: Christopher Walken is going to be our new
GaggedCenobite: Fine by me.
Salilus2099: And he will haunt the minds of all other leaders.
Salilus2099: While being really ******** awesome.
Salilus2099 wants to directly connect.
Salilus2099: "On a more serious note, it is amazing that the question of Gogo's identity still remains a mystery to this day. However, it saddens me that none of your readers seems to know who this
"retired governor" the clues point to seems to be. Well, that man is none other than Adlai Stevenson, former governor of Illinois and twice-failed presidential candidate. Here is some evidence to back
up this theory. Keep in mind that I take no credit for finding this information. I'm just passing it along.
1.) "I am always amazed by the resistance offered to progress, even the most inocous progress. Imagine, if you will, jumping from one rickety bridge to another, with blind men running back and forth
trying to push you off, and you will have some idea what legislating progress is like. The good news is that if you're pushed off, you can always climb back up and try again."
- from his book ''What I Think''
2.) "I suppose I could wear a hat, but them my teeth would fall out to spite me. I could get false ones, but doubtless then I would get fat just to prove my teeth work. The easiest course is to drape my
whole body in robes and shawls and hope no one recognizes my eyes. "
- Commenting about his baldness to an NBC reporter in 1952.
3.) "President Eisenhower continues to amaze me. He appears to be an ungainly and graceless man, but when [senator Robert] Taft makes a move, no matter how ridiculous, Eisenhower copies it with
the skill of [French mime] Marcel Merceau. I haven't achieved such levels of mimicry with my own party, but I'm working on it."
4.) "The legislature is a frightening thing. To this day the
state capitol building seems to me a beast ready to
swallow me up; the very walls and ceilings seem to crush
you as you walk through it."
- from his book ''Friends and Enemies'
5.) "Today we are plunged into a battle that is familliar to
us. the enemies and the problems are the same. But the
terrain is different. The world around us has changed and
shifted so much we no longer recognize it."
- Giving a speech at Charlottesville, 1960
6.)Stevenson's ex-wife once wrote a book about him called
The Egghead and I. In 1952, one of his campaign slogans
was "Stevenson - The Experienced Candidate."
7.)When you first meet Gogo, he says "I have been idle
for too long." Possibly reffering to the fact that Stevenson
had been dead for 30 years when FF6 came out.
8.) A number of years ago a bill was passed regarding the
transfer of funds among government-owned,
government-operated (GOGO) laboratories. What was the
name of this bill? The STEVENSON-Wydler Act, of course." <---- The article proving that Gogo was an American governor.
GaggedCenobite: Ecks. Dee.
Salilus2099: As you can see, Gogo was clearly Adlai
Salilus2099: Or he was Gerard. One of the two.
GaggedCenobite: No, Edgar was Gerard. Clearly,
Gogo is Adlai Stevenson.
Salilus2099: I meant the first bandit leader. They said
he was swallowed by a weird monster/
Salilus2099: But Adlai Stevenson > Former Bandit man.
GaggedCenobite: Ah, there's the man himself.
GaggedCenobite: Sephiroth Lite, if ya wheeeeel.
GaggedCenobite: Setzer DOES look a lot like old
Sephy, actually. o_o
Salilus2099: Wow... he sort of does.
Salilus2099: His game picture makes me think Sephiroth
and The Crow had a baby.
GaggedCenobite: And this is the part where he tells me
"PLEASE DON'T LET ME BE
Salilus2099: So it's safe to assume you would be Ultross
or Setzer given the chance.
GaggedCenobite: Either Setzer or Cyan, really.
Salilus2099: I do not imagine you as a Cyan
GaggedCenobite: Yeah, but I like Cyan, so there.
GaggedCenobite: Yeah, I'm mostly a Setzer person.
Salilus2099: Ultross, definatly. The happy "I'm whooping
your punk a**" attitude totally works. And ofcourse
GaggedCenobite: Really, who's NOT to like in the
GaggedCenobite: I didn't much care for Celes back
when I was younger, but she's a bit more appealing now.
GaggedCenobite: Oh yes. Gau.
GaggedCenobite: I hate Gau. >_<
Salilus2099: I only like him because I can imagine him
raping some women as they walk around the Veldt.
Salilus2099: Poor kid must have gotten lonely.
GaggedCenobite: I don't think he knows what his wang
Salilus2099: He hangs out with animals
Salilus2099: He's bound to have seen the nasty atleast
Salilus2099: Animals and... Magitech armor?
Salilus2099: Gogo was actually useful during the snow
Salilus2099: I had him, Celes, and Sabin go bitchsmack
Salilus2099: While Edgar, Cyan, Terra, and... um... who
was the other one at the time?
Salilus2099: Locke! That's right.
GaggedCenobite: Oh yeah, Locke.
GaggedCenobite: Han Solo.
Salilus2099: ...I wish.
Salilus2099: Shadow > Locke
Salilus2099: Even though I love that name.
GaggedCenobite: I tell you, man, he's Han Solo in
Salilus2099: How ya figure?
GaggedCenobite: He's a thi---treasure hunter, who
roams and womanizes, and has exactly ONE angsty
secret buried in his past that shows his sensitive side.
GaggedCenobite: Also, Gestahl freezes him in
carbonite, you just don't see it. >_>
Salilus2099: I can imagine it.
Salilus2099: So you're telling me Locke and Umaro are
winning the Falcon off Setzer in a gambling game.
Salilus2099: ...wow, suddenly the game seems alot like
GaggedCenobite: Yes, and then Setzer betrays Locke
to Gestahl when they arrive at the Floating Continent,
leaving him to be frozen just as he says "I know" to
Salilus2099: Fortunatly Terra has trained herself in her
esper ways, to battle Kefka.
GaggedCenobite: Mog unlocks the doors, and they
escape while Kefka dangles Terra over a precipice and
informs her that "No...TRITOCH IS YOUR FATHER."
GaggedCenobite: Meanwhile, Gau still sucks.
Salilus2099: So I guess Sabin would be.. um... Kyle
GaggedCenobite: I was thinking more like Wedge
Salilus2099: Sorry, i've been playing Jedi Knight again.
Salilus2099: Hmmm, so Gau = C-3po
Salilus2099: Because no one likes him
Salilus2099: Mog = R2 D2.
GaggedCenobite: That works. X_X
GaggedCenobite: Relm and Strago are a random pair
of Ewoks who appear in one scene, because evidently
nobody cares about either.
Salilus2099: God Damn it, how did we turn FF6 into Star
GaggedCenobite: With SKILL.
GaggedCenobite: I guess that makes General Leo
Mara Jade. o_O
Salilus2099: I dunno, I see Strago as a totally bithchin'
Salilus2099: Cause he has magic and s**t naturally, like
Terra and Celes.
GaggedCenobite: In that case Strago's Obi-Wan, and
that leaves either Relm or Gogo as Yoda.
GaggedCenobite: Gogo can be Yoda, and Relm's left
with, uh, Greedo.
Salilus2099: Gogo as Yoda. Relm sucks!
GaggedCenobite: LOCKE SHOOTS FIRST
GaggedCenobite: We forgot Edgar.
Salilus2099: God damn right!
Salilus2099: Shadow is Boba Fett
GaggedCenobite: I wonder how well he shouts "It's a
Salilus2099: Methinks very well
Salilus2099: Remember, he got the trap info from the
lady at Vector.
Salilus2099: And he shows up to tell everyone... after
GaggedCenobite: Shadow is clearly Boba Fett, yes. I
think Cyan would be Dengar or somebody. o_o
GaggedCenobite: We're out of Star Wars people. :'(
Salilus2099: Cyan and Sabin do not get to be anyone
GaggedCenobite: Nothing is wrong with Wedge
Salilus2099: He is not Sabin worthy though!
Salilus2099: I guess we'd have to fall back on the books.
GaggedCenobite: We already have. Mara Jade,
Salilus2099: Ohh yeah...
GaggedCenobite: I guess that makes Relm Grand
Admiral Thrawn, then. >_>
GaggedCenobite: And Ultros is clearly the Force.
GaggedCenobite: I mean, Jabba the Hutt.
Salilus2099: Then how about Dash Rendar? (Or however
you spell it)
GaggedCenobite: I forgot him.
Salilus2099: For shame.
GaggedCenobite: It's not my fault. I haven't read SotE
Salilus2099: It's ok.
Salilus2099: The only reason I remember is because I
have his action figure
Salilus2099: And DAMN if that action figure wasn't fun.
GaggedCenobite: If I ever play the Star Wars d20
game, I'm gonna play a Hutt.
Salilus2099: Sooo... Cyan is Dash, and Sabin remains...
GaggedCenobite: See if anybody can beat me THEN.
Salilus2099: The Zone Eater is the sand pit monster.
GaggedCenobite: And Gogo is not inside it. >_>
Salilus2099: Gogo is in the Degobah system.
Salilus2099: And Jesus in heaven, I think we've achieved
a new level of nerddom. >>
GaggedCenobite: "Kupo?" "That's right, Mog, THE
DAGOBAH SYSTEM. "
Salilus2099: I want to challenge Edgars position as
GaggedCenobite: What do you have that's better in
Salilus2099: What about Banon? The most useless of
GaggedCenobite: Hey now.
GaggedCenobite: Health was a good move.
Salilus2099: Well, I can't think of a better person for
Edgar, but damn if Banon didn't fit the bill better
Salilus2099: Yeah, when he'd use it when I told him to!
Salilus2099: For whatever reason, I'd tell him to health,
and he'd attack
GaggedCenobite: You're right, though, he DOES fit the
bill better. o_o
Salilus2099: Banon should never ******** attack.
GaggedCenobite: He's an old man. He could break a
Salilus2099: Health is just him sharing his life meds
Salilus2099: So now Edgar is...
Salilus2099: Feel free to help me here.
GaggedCenobite: I don't know.
Salilus2099: Now Ghesthal is going to force lightning us,
and there is nothing we can do!
GaggedCenobite: And now, young Terra, you will be
Salilus2099: The only thing I can think to do is fall back
on the new Star Wars, and... damn it that just doesn't
GaggedCenobite: Indeed not.
Salilus2099: Ok ok, Edgar stays as Akbar
Salilus2099: And Banon becomes the rebel leader from
the first one.
Salilus2099: Cause he... died or something. Just like
Salilus2099: And Ultross is replaced as Jaba the Hutt.
Owzer is totally Jaba.
GaggedCenobite: You're awesome.
Salilus2099: I know, it's true.
Salilus2099: Ultross clearly becomes the guy that works
as Jaba's advisor, and Mr. Chupon is the Rankor.
Salilus2099: There, we have successfully cast FF6 into
Salilus2099: And damn it, i'm saving this convo for
*Turns off the TV*
There, as you can see, I am mentally insane. Thank you, and good night.
· Fri Nov 04, 2005 @ 06:43pm · 4 Comments