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I enjoyed reading this, because well, I guess i'm feeling the same way right now. I kinda don't know who I am anymore, well never have. I remember when I was little and I used to be someone different, someone happier and I used to go out and have fun with my friends, but then we had to move and since then things changed in me. I couldn't hang out with my friends anymore, and when I called I normally didn't get an answer. I wanted to still hang out with them to but because of my situation I couldn't. So from that point on I guess things changed alot for me. I constantly got messed with from people, made fun of, etc. And I started feeling like crap. Since then I've always felt like crap and haven't had many friends. As far as exs go, ya, its the same with me so don't worry. I know I need to move on to but its really hard.... Ya i'm going today for my license to, I hope I pass as well smile I can do the written test but the road test is the trouble. But yes... love in this world.... is very hard to find now. This whole world need love... but theres not enough of it to go around. I would really like to know to... all I have ever wanted in life was to be happy, and to love and care for my soulmate.... to know they will be there for me and for me them, and to understand and care about me. To go though the good and bad for the better. And no, emos are just looking for attention in my opinion lol But they shouldn't do that. I don't really hate anyone either. Even my ex... what she did was unforgivable but I still care about her... and don't hate her for what shes becoming. I just hope things work out the best. I just want one girl... one person in this life. I do want to get married someday... but like you, I want to make sure, that it will be life long love, even after death the love will still be there. I just hope my soulmate will show up soon. Maybe she already has, and I don't know it yet. But I can wait. I've been waiting all my life after all...

Your dad is trying to hook you up with a 24 year old?? I hope he does not succeed!
Yeah, everyone feels like they don't know themselves at one point in their lives. well, most people do (like me). I'm in college and i'm still trying to find who i am. it helps to expose yourself to new things and experiences so you can know more and learn more about the people and things around you. for a long time i didn't know my own identity. i am asian, too. growing up was definitely a difficult time. i didn't understand my parents and they didn't understand me. also, i didn't understand myself lol. the past life i lived was very painful. sad
it wasn't until like after high school i started to become interested in my own culture. i guess in the beginning i felt pressure to learn my own native language b/c both my parents are asian and obviously they both come from cultures that value their roots. but now i study the language b/c i want to learn more. to be honest, become more fluent in mandarin chinese (yeah i am chinese) has helped me form stronger connection and communication skills with my parents. neither of my parents' english is very good, and for a long time i wished they could speak english properly to me but to them chinese will always be the language they'll know best.