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metaphors are kind of interesting, and fun to make. but everybody attempts to make a metaphor for what life is like...you can't do it. it's impossible. making a metaphor for life is like trying to fit the entire ocean into a single cup. there's too much meaning to be contained within a single metaphor.

because, really, you would need a lot of cups. like, billions, to put the entire ocean in. if you had that many cups, then you could do it, but it would take a lot of time, and of course all of the cups. but you can't, because the amount of time it takes to make the cups, let alone fill them, is probably more than 100 years if nobody is helping you; you would be dead. plus, where are you going to get all of those cups? they don't just grow on trees. you need to make them out of styrofoam, or plastic, or glass, and those things don't grow on trees, PLUS, that's terrible for the environment. tree-jesus would roll over in his tomb if you had that many cups in landfills. even if you make it out of wood, it's not like it grows that way, you have to whittle it down to a cup. the undertaking of such a project would cost billions and billions and trillions of dollars that you don't have to be spending on frivolities like putting the ocean in a bunch of stupid cups.

what if, while you're filling the cups, a shark or a herd of piranhas attacks? all you have to defend yourself with are cups, which you can't afford to spare. there's a lot of sharks and piranhas in the water everywhere, if could invent some kind of cup-fu to fend them all off, you wouldn't have enough cups to put the ocean in anymore. you're screwed. and it's not "if", because it'll happen. you can't tell me that there aren't sharks and piranhas in the ocean.

and if you somehow get it done, get the ocean into a bunch of stupid cups, where are you going to put the cups? if you stack them up from where the water came from, 1) the cups at the bottom would start to break and spill all of the water out and 2) the ocean is in the same place as it was before, only now there's a bunch of cups dividing it into small sections. the fish would never go for that, they hate living inside of things that they can't fit inside of. it's terribly uncomfortable, i've tried it. plus, i mean, what if you want to go swimming? there's be a bunch of cups in the way. then you would know how the fish feel.

you could try putting them all on shelves, but we run into the supplies problem again--where are you going to get enough shelves? ikea? if you went to ikea you wouldn't even have enough shelves for .001% of the cups, let alone all of them. you'd have to go to every ikea in the world, and also maybe loot some other people's shelves, and hire elves to make more shelves (another expense) to get the first 1%. what about the rest of the percents? there's 99 more of them, and they're getting restless. i don't have any ideas. and don't even think about jettisoning them off into space. the cups would burst, and plus, you would lose them because they would drift away on solar winds. that's completely not an option. maybe you should think of your own ideas because mine are all terrible, you freeloader.

or maybe you would need less cups if you had bigger cups. like, more than 10 gallons per cup. maybe 20. then you would need less materials for the cups and also instead of shelves you could stack them. but the stack would get pretty high, and it would keep toppling over. maybe you could up the size of the cups again.

maybe...if you had a big enough cup, you would only need one of them to contain the ocean. and what is the ocean sitting in right now? is it leaking? no? then could the earth itself perhaps be considered a cup in itself? it can, and now i am the one doing the considering, and it is. so i've accomplished my goal with pretty much no effort at all. not only a goal, but an impossible goal. that makes me amazing. you can all be a part of my kingdom now, i've earned the right to be the king of everything. you haven't. you can be my shoes. i'll strap my feet onto you and you can crawl, and if i want to run, you can crawl faster. REALLY faster, because i have appointments to maintain. i am the king of everything, you know. so what are you standing there for? crawl!!