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There was once a man,
a very boring man,
who lived next door to me.

He had no life,
no particularly interesting life,
as far as I could see.

Always cooped up inside his home,
inside his own little cocoon,
oh yes that was the philosophy of he.

There was once a man,
a very lonely man,
who lived next door to me.

Once a woman came to his doorstep,
a beautiful dame dared to step up to his dirty doorstep,
and all he did was make her scram.

Overcome by fear,
great, great fear of the man,
she ran and ran and ran.

There was once a man,
a very anti-social man,
who lived next door to me.

Tick-tock goes the clock,
it's time for supper!
The only time of day the man enjoys.

Different foods gave the man joy,
that exposing n***s gave others.

There was once a man,
a very gluttonous man,
who lived next door to me.

Turtles zoom past the man,
even if he ever began to ran.

Speed is most certainly not his game,
just as fame is not ours.

There was once a man,
a very slow man,
who lived next door to me.

There ends the man's story,
who once lived next door to me.

What happened to him in the end, you might ask?
Quite frankly, no one seems to know!

He just huffed and he puffed and he blew his way out of the neighbourhood!