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angsty
yes yes, that's what i am. woooo. im having some anger issues. i feel angry at alex right now. or irritated. i guess it's a mix of jealousy and all the stupid stuff he's been doin lately that's been getting on my nerves. i still love him more then anything, but i just feel so blah towards him. i guess it's a way to set myself up for the rest of the month. this tuesday is our anniversary of the very first day we met. it'll be 3 years. im sure that doesn't sound that big, but it is deep down. but being my negative self, i don't think we have a good and strong bond like we use to. im just waiting for the day that i just become a "friend". just that and nothing more. i hate being known as an "ex" it's so negative. it drives me nuts. then on the 29th of June, it's going to be the day that we broke up. it'll be a year that we have not been together as a couple. i hate that. i dispise that. i loathe it. but whatever. last night alex invited me over to hang out with him and brandon but the most of the time i was there, he was on his computer, talking to people online. that's so freakin rude. that really pissed me off. that's a major reason why im so blah towards him. it's just down right rude. no one should go online and chat with their friend if they have company over. unless your guest is chatting with you and that person online as one group event chat. but it wasnt'. don't invite me over and then don't acknowledge my presence. instead me and brandon tried to accompany each other. we teased and made fun of alex and chatted a little. tho i always feel so shy towards him. we're friends and all but i still don't know him well well, so im not sure what he likes to talk about. so yeah. i just wanted to rant about how mad lately i've been feeling towards alex. i find it kind of weird to feel this way towards him. also i know he doesn't come here, so i can write stuff about him *deep sigh* i feel a little bit better now smile
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