Well, to toss back a response at my own journal entry from last time (because, I may be the only one reading this tripe), there are other times when I come alive, it isn't only when I am angry.
I wish I knew the secret to charting myself towards a more regularly positive life and sense of self. Whenever I hear people say that you just have to think positively or look at the bright side, I want to gag. On the other hand, I don't want to spend my life with all the cheer of the walking dead and the charm of demon-possessed chihuahua. (I really wish that last sentence made sense.)
Maybe a lot of the lingering angst and anger just comes from the frustration of not achieving all the things I hope to achieve. For the longest time I believed I could do anything and everything if I just worked at it hard enough. Truth is, I can't. I mean, I certainly can do a lot of things, and working towards goals is important.
But, not having every dream come true or every hope fulfilled is not the end of the world. Also, I really do have a lot in life already that I am not appreciating. There is, really, so much for me to be awake and happy about. Heh, maybe I am scared of happiness . . . could happen you know!
Anyway, I had a pretty good day yesterday, and it made me realize that I don't have to be angry to be alive. So, bleh! There is my response to my own journal from last time!
Rohkaze · Tue Oct 23, 2007 @ 11:13pm · 0 Comments |