august 8th,
well I've been journal surfing lately and I'n voticed something. it seems every one is cuaght up in their lives and all the good times, and its ll they every write about . they seem to make it a habit to hide their true feleings behind a happy go lucky lie. anyways I find it amusing. I've never acctullly wrote in a journal till gaia came along, always found it to be a pointless waste of my effort and time. but as of late I have found it to be an excelent source of chronicallying the state of mind over a period of time. I've been looking back lately , over all that been said and done during our year's stay at gaia and m seeing just how much we all have learnt. I'm collecting expreinace and i will hopefull be able to use it to my advengae next time I'm in a bit of a pickle. and I've been reading over all the pms and the letter you've sent me, oh how far we've come, the great things we have acomplished and the great thing we have over come. I'm impressed as should you be of what we've done. truyelt inspreing for kids of our age. though ewnough of the past as compeling as it is, or may seem, the present is calling for its lime light so disscuss it we shall. just recently I've learned a very valueable lesson, even when your a hero(tradgic or not) oyu just cant save them all. I've uynfortunatly learnt this one the hard way, through the loss of one of my friends, not a death based casualty but a life changeing one non the less. it's hard to have to choces between your friends or a friend and a girl frend and I have recently been presented with both thouse choices. I've already tackled one and Mae remains by my side (a dission I am confident about) but the next I'll have to face, well , lets just say I'm not to sure what to do. two of my best friends who I have grown up with , shared in their joys and experiencxed their pain. two of the people I trust the most. of the many things I've done in my 16 years, this will be with out a doubt one of the hardest, all I can hope for is that when the time come make the right dission. because mine, and many others lives will be changed forever if I dont.
trust is a thing that is said can only be achevied through hard work. you and I both know that all the hard work and all the emotion and all the pure love has got to at least equal enough trust for you to reconsider takeing the plunge. I'm asking again and this time, this time my love, we'll be ready and able o take on the world side by side. just take my hand and trust in thouse 3 smal words and trust that one day when it come time to say thouse 2 that we will know full well and fell the "I do".
*[i] I never took you for a trp but sometimes, I dont know what you want.
I can take it if you need to take this out on someone[i/]*
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