I was born with a disease called Gorlin's Syndrome...
this damn disease makes me have at minimum 15 surgeries a year.
right now i am at 14 surgeries.....
the surgeries are usually:
heart
knee
mouth
ear
neck
eye
and back.
i have had at minimum 2 of each of these...
the surgeries started when i was five...
i was always considered the unlucky child, or the odd one out.
My dad is crazy!
he constantly takes his anger out on me....
he's has:
kicked me
threatened me
slapped me
whipped me
and yanks my hair like mad....
thank god i moved.....
my dad also cheated on my mom when they were married....
he never told me why they got divorced so for a while i blamed it on myself....
When my dad decided to get remarried i hated him....
i wanted so badly to just scream at him...
but i stood silent.... afraid that he would get mad at me....
the night before the wedding i vowed to never love my soon to be step- mom then cried myself to sleep...
sure i smiled on the outside during the wedding, but on the inside i was screaming and crying.... i hated it....
my step- mom and i never really got along well, she would always tell my dad i did something i didn't do.... and of course he believed her.....
she like my dad also:
slapped me
threatened me
whipped me
and pulled my hair
after she had my twin baby brother and sister, she became nicer....
She is a damn good cook too!
in 5th grade i started to become a goth, constantly wearing black....
my dad hated it, so in turn he yelled at me....
when i started 7th grade i was stressed beyond belief...
that is when i started cutting myself....
10 minutes into first period i grabbed a pair of scissors and started to slice up my hand's and arm's ....
the girl next to me puked the teacher sent me to the nurses office, but before that i wanted to taste my blood so during the walk to the nurses office i licked my hands... that is when my obsession with blood started...
the nurse quickly bandageed up my arms and hands then called my mom, as soon as i got in the car she made me call my dad, and of course he yelled at me...
but i didn't care any more...
i started to get into fights, soon i had the whole school scared of me...
they now refered to me as the "emo trouble".
My mom signed me up for a therepist, but it made things worse....
i now loved to cut myself, loved to drink blood, loved to cause pain and misery, and i really loved laughing at others pain....
the only people i cared about were my friends and myself...
i didn't even care about my family......
 stopit11 · Mon Aug 06, 2007 @ 01:23am · 2 Comments |
