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Tags: Harry Potter, Hogwarts, Dumbledore's Army, Marauders, Magic 

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THE DIFFERENCE (FAN FIC!) Goto Page: 1 2 [>] [»|]

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Do you think Lydian Wells is a Mary-Sue?
Yes
7%
 7%  [ 1 ]
No
15%
 15%  [ 2 ]
Kind of
23%
 23%  [ 3 ]
Undecided
53%
 53%  [ 7 ]
Total Votes : 13


Citizen Charlie

PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:49 am
[ Message temporarily off-line ]  
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:59 am
ooo. I like it. biggrin  

DarkAngelPoetess65


Citizen Charlie

PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:07 pm
DarkAngel65
ooo. I like it. biggrin

Really? You don't think it's too cliche, do you? sweatdrop
 
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 1:19 pm
Tone down your descriptions a little, but keep the story intact. Your character really isn't a Mary-Sue, so keep going and good luck!  

TheAntiSora


KimCL
Captain

PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 2:46 pm
I like it, you've got a great start.
Good luck!
 
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 2:48 pm
The only thing I didn't like was that Harry said he was a wizard, else it was fine.  

chibi_chan
Crew


Fuzziball Fai
Fezziwig Jr


Scrappy Pilot

PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 4:47 pm
I agree with chibi-chan. Harry wouldn't just tell someone he just met that he was a wizard... That's supposed to be a secret.  
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 7:54 pm
Harry told Lydian that he was a wizard, because he wanted to mess with her, and he didn't realize that she was a squib. He figured that she would just laugh in his face and call him a liar.
 

Citizen Charlie


Sakura_kura
Vice Captain

PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 8:10 pm
It was okay, to unrealistic. Would Harry really just say that to someone he didn't know? The writing style is good though.  
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 8:16 pm
Charlie_Chaplin
Harry told Lydian that he was a wizard, because he wanted to mess with her, and he didn't realize that she was a squib. He figured that she would just laugh in his face and call him a liar.


I still don't think that is reason enough. But as a one chapter thing it is cute.  

Sakura_kura
Vice Captain


Empress_Kat
Crew

PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:01 pm
It's cute, despite the fact that I usually despise OFCs. It's well written, too (although there were a few grammatical errors, for example 'Both of her two siblings' should probably just be 'Both her siblings' because the word 'both' automatically means two).

I do agree that Hary wouldn't just tell some random chick that he's a wizard, even if it was just to mess with her mind. It just doesn't seem to me to be something he'd do. Then again, I suppose it was needed to make the fic work...  
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 11:46 pm
Empress_Kat
It's cute, despite the fact that I usually despise OFCs. It's well written, too (although there were a few grammatical errors, for example 'Both of her two siblings' should probably just be 'Both her siblings' because the word 'both' automatically means two).

I do agree that Hary wouldn't just tell some random chick that he's a wizard, even if it was just to mess with her mind. It just doesn't seem to me to be something he'd do. Then again, I suppose it was needed to make the fic work...


Yeah..I needed for Harry to find out that Lydian was a squib....fast...

sweatdrop
 

Citizen Charlie


King_me_Macabre

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2005 6:56 pm
That was good.  
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 7:55 am
*squeals at your siggy* Daddy!  

Zoey Mikaela



jessiekins

Crew

Wealthy Vampire

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 10:02 am
User Image I like the fic and all. But i agree with someone before me. Tone down your discriptions a little. They make the fic a bit dramatic to some people. I can''t wait to read the next part of your fic. I hope its as good as the first part. ^^  
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