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Main Forum: Haven for Harry Potter Fanatics

THE DIFFERENCE (FAN FIC!)

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Do you think Lydian Wells is a Mary-Sue?

Yes

[ 1 ]

15%

[ 2 ]

Kind of

23%

[ 3 ]

Undecided

53%

[ 7 ]

Total Votes : 13

Citizen Charlie

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Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:49 am


	[ Message temporarily off-line ]

Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:59 am


	ooo. I like it. biggrin

DarkAngelPoetess65

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Citizen Charlie

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Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 12:07 pm


	DarkAngel65 ooo. I like it. biggrin Really? You don't think it's too cliche, do you? sweatdrop

Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 1:19 pm


	Tone down your descriptions a little, but keep the story intact. Your character really isn't a Mary-Sue, so keep going and good luck!

TheAntiSora

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KimCL
Captain

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Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 2:46 pm


	I like it, you've got a great start. Good luck!

Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 2:48 pm


	The only thing I didn't like was that Harry said he was a wizard, else it was fine.

chibi_chan
Crew

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Fuzziball Fai
Fezziwig Jr

Scrappy Pilot

30,350 Points

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Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 4:47 pm


	I agree with chibi-chan. Harry wouldn't just tell someone he just met that he was a wizard... That's supposed to be a secret.

Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 7:54 pm


	Harry told Lydian that he was a wizard, because he wanted to mess with her, and he didn't realize that she was a squib. He figured that she would just laugh in his face and call him a liar.

Citizen Charlie

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Sakura_kura
Vice Captain

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Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 8:10 pm


	It was okay, to unrealistic. Would Harry really just say that to someone he didn't know? The writing style is good though.

Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 8:16 pm


	Charlie_Chaplin Harry told Lydian that he was a wizard, because he wanted to mess with her, and he didn't realize that she was a squib. He figured that she would just laugh in his face and call him a liar. I still don't think that is reason enough. But as a one chapter thing it is cute.

Sakura_kura
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Empress_Kat
Crew

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Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:01 pm


	It's cute, despite the fact that I usually despise OFCs. It's well written, too (although there were a few grammatical errors, for example 'Both of her two siblings' should probably just be 'Both her siblings' because the word 'both' automatically means two). I do agree that Hary wouldn't just tell some random chick that he's a wizard, even if it was just to mess with her mind. It just doesn't seem to me to be something he'd do. Then again, I suppose it was needed to make the fic work...

Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 11:46 pm


	Empress_Kat It's cute, despite the fact that I usually despise OFCs. It's well written, too (although there were a few grammatical errors, for example 'Both of her two siblings' should probably just be 'Both her siblings' because the word 'both' automatically means two). I do agree that Hary wouldn't just tell some random chick that he's a wizard, even if it was just to mess with her mind. It just doesn't seem to me to be something he'd do. Then again, I suppose it was needed to make the fic work... Yeah..I needed for Harry to find out that Lydian was a squib....fast... sweatdrop

Citizen Charlie

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King_me_Macabre

5,050 Points

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Posted: Tue Aug 02, 2005 6:56 pm


	That was good.

Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 7:55 am


	squeals at your siggy Daddy!

Zoey Mikaela

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jessiekins

Crew

Wealthy Vampire

6,650 Points

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Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2005 10:02 am


	I like the fic and all. But i agree with someone before me. Tone down your discriptions a little. They make the fic a bit dramatic to some people. I can''t wait to read the next part of your fic. I hope its as good as the first part. ^^

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