anyone ever get urges to express themselves as the opp. sex?

[EllynSkyeHi]

i really wanna cross dress...or pretend to be a guy online...i just...don't feel confident enough to do it...and it's not like i've got any practice being a guy..does anyone else feel this way?

does anyone have a good way to learn to become the opp. sex? is it kinda like just find who you want to be like and emulate them...or?

help?

thnx

Ellyn

p.s. i've considered sex changes before but ultimately i'm happy being a girl and i'm bisexual so i'm assuming feeling feminine and masculine comes with the territory...  

[tiedyedtrash]

I'm an FtM, so here's my input, although my opinions may not be the opinions of everyone else:

In my opinion, everyone has masculine and feminine qualities regardless of their sexual orientation. The ratios between the two, and how they affect you, are what matters in understanding whether or not you are cisgender or transgender. Some people feel both, and some feel neither, and usually if it affects them enough to be an identity (regardless of how much that identity impacts them), those people are transgender. (Nonbinary, but just as trans as a binary trans person)

For example, a masculine personality wouldn't affect someone as much as a masculine identity. Depending on a person's terminology and how they feel, words like masculine, androgynous, and feminine in regards to their identity might not show how they feel enough, and they will use words like "male identity," "female identity," and "non-binary identity." There's a really large spectrum, and this is oversimplifying a bit, actually.

That being said, expressing your gender online is the easiest form of expressing your gender because all it requires is that you have an avatar that reflects how you feel, and your words. You technically don't even need to make a whole persona, though I used to do that back when I was 11, when I made my first Gaia account. (Shhhh, breaking site rules by being young, I know I was bad)

I'm not really a veteran when it comes to being transgender, as I'm 18 and I've only been out 4 years and haven't physically transitioned yet, but I've been out long enough to feel comfortable with my gender-and even sometimes forget I'm not actually biologically male!  

[EllynSkyeHi]

Thanks for the well though out reply!

in your experience, do guys talk differently online than girls? cuz i was worried about that most...

hmmm...i kinda got the urge the other day to go to a store and pick out some guy clothes and wear them, with my long hair, just be a girl wearing guy clothes you know...but then i was a little scared at what ppl would think...and my mom...well, she probly wouldn't "let" me...even tho i'm 26. this sux. sad i hate feeling so oppressed...  

[Vinsmokin]

It sounds like you could be genderfluid or nonbinary. I'm not gonna pretend I'm the omniscient gender-ruler, but the way you're talking, both of those seem like something to look into.

It also may be worth note that you don't have to experience dysphoria/want to physically transition to be trans. I've met trans men who felt no need to bind or go through hormone therapy. (I've also met nonbinary people who didn't care to use gender neutral pronouns--basically what I'm saying is that how you identify doesn't necessarily mean that you have to fit into every stereotypical role of whatever gender you are. It's not always so clearly cut.)  

[Professor Cypress]

I think you should go for it. It all starts from experimentation with outfits and such, and depending on how far you wanna take it, like if you want to try and go full passing it off or just want to wear the clothes of the opposite sex. It's the details that you want to figure out yourself on how far you wanna do it. I speak from experience myself with crossdressing, and I know EXACTLY how you feel in how restricted you feel and the urge to do so. I could help ya if ya want.  

[cosmicqueer]

I am a trans dude, and I can honestly say that for a long time, I thought I was okay with being called she and wearing clothes tailored to ladies bodies, and I was so wrong b/c I had been conditioned to feel that way.

Take a chance. Buy a men's shirt and some cargo shorts. Or at least try them on at the store. Look in the mirror. If you like the way you feel and look in them, then buy them. Don't worry about putting a label on it. Try to find what feels best.

I felt very similarly about "cross dressing." I thought people were going to look at me differently. & some did. But it's far more prominent than you realize. At least for women (people who were assigned male as a gender at birth tend to face more crap than female assigned at birth people for wearing clothes that are "for the opposite gender,"). It's all kind of scary, but just putting the clothes on in baby steps may help you figure out what you like.

And you may like both masculine and feminine things. You may like wearing both at the same time, or any combination or just one specific look. The first step is to try it, and there's nothing wrong with trying. smile