Gender Dysphoria

[xXbelovedXxx]

Gender Dysphoria: Something we don't seem to talk about too much here, and it's been on my mind a bit lately.

Definition (for those of you who don't know): in short, it's being very uncomfortable with your gender

My background: I'm a gender fluid-ish panromantic lesbian (meaning i'm only physically attracted to girls) who, for the most part, identifies as female. With the ending of my toxic relationship about a year and a half ago, I started coming to terms more with my sexuality and gender and becoming more comfortable with myself. Since then, I have excepted that I am in fact gay (even though I am in a straight relationship with a cis man) and my gender identity is a bit more complex than I thought.

Recently, my hair has been growing out, and my partner asked me to keep it longer, which is a fair request since I ask him to keep his beardy face. I like it 3nodding Little did I know, this request would trigger all sorts off awkward discomfort and gender dysphoria. All because my hair is longer than it's usual 3 inches. Not a big deal, I told him I need to get it cut, the end.

But the weird feeling that seemed to be triggered over nothing are still bothering me. And I did want to grow my hair out, but I don't think I emotionally can. I plan on getting engaged in about a year, and wish my hair would be long and beautiful like it used to be for this event.

Any thoughts, experiences, stories, questions, etc? Feel free to share.  

[Katana left the site]

I'm not particularly comfortable with my gender, but I'm not sure if I have dysphoria or it's a phase.  

[1uxure]

"I'm a genderfluid ish lesbian who mostly is girl"
So you're a cis girl


Only girls can be lesbians


You're a girl



You don't have dysphoria

You're a cis girl

heart  

[Katana left the site]

claudekin

"I'm a genderfluid ish lesbian who mostly is girl"
So you're a cis girl


Only girls can be lesbians


You're a girl



You don't have dysphoria

You're a cis girl

heart

They specifically said that they have dysphoria, so they're not cis. And any range of female-presenting people can identify as lesbian. I'm a truscum and I think this is legit.  

[1uxure]

GoldenxShadows

claudekin

"I'm a genderfluid ish lesbian who mostly is girl"
So you're a cis girl


Only girls can be lesbians


You're a girl



You don't have dysphoria

You're a cis girl

heart

They specifically said that they have dysphoria, so they're not cis. And any range of female-presenting people can identify as lesbian. I'm a truscum and I think this is legit.

I must of missed where they said they had dysphoria, because I'm truscum too cool  

[TheCreatureOfHabit]

I would share my entire experience with gender dysphoria, but it would be a very long post and I don't want to seem preachy, so I'll spare you the sermon.

If you want to make sure that what you're feeling is gender dysphoria, try going online and making a male identity for yourself. Talk to a friend in real life about your doubts and ask them to call you by male pronouns and a male name for a month. See if you feel any happier when you're spoken to and treated like a man.

I had doubts about this myself because I had no one to ask about it and was completely new to the idea that transgender people actually existed (I was very sheltered as a child). I experimented by talking to a few trusted friend and asked them to address me with male pronouns. I also asked people at my workplace to call me Eugene, which is my legal middle name already. After a few weeks of being called by a male name in public and addressed with male pronouns, I self-examined and found that when people called me by my female name and addressed me as a female, I felt less confident and less myself when compared to how I felt with the opposite.

This is how I proved to myself that what I was experiencing was gender dysphoria, because, as a crossplayer, I felt that wishing I looked more masculine could have been me wanting to pull off the look better rather than having an actual desire to change my gender. I have also tried picturing myself getting my breasts removed and growing facial hair with comfortable success. I've even felt happier when picturing myself that way.

In the end, no mind works exactly like another. Talk to people you trust to be understanding and objective and seek counseling if you can afford it. Odds are that if you're asking yourself if you're transgender, you probably are.  

[xXbelovedXxx]

claudekin

"I'm a genderfluid ish lesbian who mostly is girl"
So you're a cis girl


Only girls can be lesbians


You're a girl



You don't have dysphoria

You're a cis girl

heart

I'm intrigued with your closed minded view-Not to be offensive.

But there are in fact ftm trans people who still identify as lesbians, and there are also "straight" metro cis males who feel the term lesbian also describes their sexuality. I use the term panromantic lesbian because it is the closest label I have found for my sexual orientation. Otherwise, when speaking about my sexual orientation I identify as gay. Oh wait, but gay is only a term for boys! No it's not. It's a word. A word that can be used by anyone as long as it makes you more comfortable.  

[xXbelovedXxx]

Lawrence Eugene

I would share my entire experience with gender dysphoria, but it would be a very long post and I don't want to seem preachy, so I'll spare you the sermon.

If you want to make sure that what you're feeling is gender dysphoria, try going online and making a male identity for yourself. Talk to a friend in real life about your doubts and ask them to call you by male pronouns and a male name for a month. See if you feel any happier when you're spoken to and treated like a man.

I had doubts about this myself because I had no one to ask about it and was completely new to the idea that transgender people actually existed (I was very sheltered as a child). I experimented by talking to a few trusted friend and asked them to address me with male pronouns. I also asked people at my workplace to call me Eugene, which is my legal middle name already. After a few weeks of being called by a male name in public and addressed with male pronouns, I self-examined and found that when people called me by my female name and addressed me as a female, I felt less confident and less myself when compared to how I felt with the opposite.

This is how I proved to myself that what I was experiencing was gender dysphoria, because, as a crossplayer, I felt that wishing I looked more masculine could have been me wanting to pull off the look better rather than having an actual desire to change my gender. I have also tried picturing myself getting my breasts removed and growing facial hair with comfortable success. I've even felt happier when picturing myself that way.

In the end, no mind works exactly like another. Talk to people you trust to be understanding and objective and seek counseling if you can afford it. Odds are that if you're asking yourself if you're transgender, you probably are.

It's not so much that I am concerned with being transgender, rather, that I know I am somewhere in between. So, with my own personal experience, I am called by both pronouns already, mostly due to my appearance being quite androgynous and I gender bend on a day to day basis. So it's not that I am uncomfortable, but every now and then for whatever reason the gender dysphoria feeling pops up and makes my life more complicated for seemingly no reason.  

[Ember-babe]

xXbelovedXxx

You could always get a lovely wig done up for you for the wedding. That way you can have long hair when you want to and have short hair when you feel like it. biggrin