I just needed somewhere to put this and get it out of my system, you don't have to read this. Really, it's probably just a rant. I need to just let it all out, I'm laying in bed crying right now. So here goes. And don't mind my endless swearing...
Simply enough, my dad is barely ever ******** home anymore. He's working so much, on weekends too from the morning until after we're all in bed asleep, which is what I'm supposed to be doing right now. Sleeping. But I just can't seem to do it because this is driving me absolutely insane. I'm starting to get the feeling that he doesn't even ******** care anymore!! My mom planned a weekend camping trip for us since we didn't do our normal week long trip to Hershey Park or something during our summer vacation. Well him being my father and all, I wanted him so badly to just stop in for even just a night, sit around the fire with us and well... Just be a family. But that didn't ******** happen!!! I mean, he's just painting a house with one of his friends. His friends. The guy has family and a kid too, so I'm absolutely positive he wouldn't have had a problem with taking a single day off to spend with his family. But dad just like... Completely denied even asking! Like, "take a day off? Yeah sure." Like he thought it was a damn joke. And then around dinner time, we were all messing around and he joked saying he would come up one night. Then my mom flipped about it, saying s**t about how it was going to be a weekend with her and the kids, and she didn't want him there. So yeah, I know that they aren't exactly getting along, and she's putting up with his s**t for our sake, but please, if you're going to say s**t like that can it wait until I'm at least gone? My little brother and sister don't understand it, but I ******** do. Sure, outside I'm laughing along with my dad, but inside? It's eating away at me until I end up like this. Crying in bed and complaining to you all. Is it too much to ask that he spend a weekend with us? Have a family day or something? Like a couple weeks ago, we did this big family trip up to a beach. My grandparents came, my aunt and uncle and a few cousins. And we had a complete blast. But dad wasn't there. He was working. Sure, we did have fun but... It would have been better if he was there. It always is, because that's how I know he likes having fun and spending time with us. Lately he's never around and just... I just miss him. I miss my dad. I miss him so damn much. I just want him to be around. And then my mom, my ******** mom! If it's just the two of us, she talks to me about him. About how she can't stand his crap anymore, about how she just wants to pack us up and leave his a** behind. It's my father you're talking about! My ******** father who you've been married to for 7 ******** years!! What the ********!! I'm the oldest, I've been around him the longest, you can't say that s**t to me!!! I'm melting down inside this happy girl outside, and it's KILLING ME. And I don't want to talk to her about it, I just... I can't!!! So instead, I'm venting it out here. Probably not the best choice in the world, but it's my output right now.
I didn't expect any of you to read all of that, but if you did, would you reply here? Or send me a PM? It's nice to know that there are some people out there that seem to care about my feelings. Unlike my mother who complains to me about my father, and said father who is barely around anymore. I feel somewhat better now, but the pains still there. I don't think it's going to go away anytime soon either. Bye guys.
Wow I really just typed all that...
Simply enough, my dad is barely ever ******** home anymore. He's working so much, on weekends too from the morning until after we're all in bed asleep, which is what I'm supposed to be doing right now. Sleeping. But I just can't seem to do it because this is driving me absolutely insane. I'm starting to get the feeling that he doesn't even ******** care anymore!! My mom planned a weekend camping trip for us since we didn't do our normal week long trip to Hershey Park or something during our summer vacation. Well him being my father and all, I wanted him so badly to just stop in for even just a night, sit around the fire with us and well... Just be a family. But that didn't ******** happen!!! I mean, he's just painting a house with one of his friends. His friends. The guy has family and a kid too, so I'm absolutely positive he wouldn't have had a problem with taking a single day off to spend with his family. But dad just like... Completely denied even asking! Like, "take a day off? Yeah sure." Like he thought it was a damn joke. And then around dinner time, we were all messing around and he joked saying he would come up one night. Then my mom flipped about it, saying s**t about how it was going to be a weekend with her and the kids, and she didn't want him there. So yeah, I know that they aren't exactly getting along, and she's putting up with his s**t for our sake, but please, if you're going to say s**t like that can it wait until I'm at least gone? My little brother and sister don't understand it, but I ******** do. Sure, outside I'm laughing along with my dad, but inside? It's eating away at me until I end up like this. Crying in bed and complaining to you all. Is it too much to ask that he spend a weekend with us? Have a family day or something? Like a couple weeks ago, we did this big family trip up to a beach. My grandparents came, my aunt and uncle and a few cousins. And we had a complete blast. But dad wasn't there. He was working. Sure, we did have fun but... It would have been better if he was there. It always is, because that's how I know he likes having fun and spending time with us. Lately he's never around and just... I just miss him. I miss my dad. I miss him so damn much. I just want him to be around. And then my mom, my ******** mom! If it's just the two of us, she talks to me about him. About how she can't stand his crap anymore, about how she just wants to pack us up and leave his a** behind. It's my father you're talking about! My ******** father who you've been married to for 7 ******** years!! What the ********!! I'm the oldest, I've been around him the longest, you can't say that s**t to me!!! I'm melting down inside this happy girl outside, and it's KILLING ME. And I don't want to talk to her about it, I just... I can't!!! So instead, I'm venting it out here. Probably not the best choice in the world, but it's my output right now.
I didn't expect any of you to read all of that, but if you did, would you reply here? Or send me a PM? It's nice to know that there are some people out there that seem to care about my feelings. Unlike my mother who complains to me about my father, and said father who is barely around anymore. I feel somewhat better now, but the pains still there. I don't think it's going to go away anytime soon either. Bye guys.
Wow I really just typed all that...
