Hypocrites. All of them.

[Reeves]

WARNING: Long story/rant approaching at high velocity. Please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy ride.

Okay, so. You guys all know how I joined the Queer Straight Alliance (QSA) at my university this semester. I recently came out in February and I figured I was ready to become a bigger part of the community, and for the most part, it's been great. I've made a lot of friends (one of them being my current crush), and although I only got one semester with them, it's certainly better than nothing and it's been a very fun experience.

I emphasize "for the most part." You see, very recently I learned about a few LGBT members (one of which was probably disenchanted by the fact that he didn't win the presidential seat in QSA) who have done nothing but attempt to undermine the club in every way possible. I wasn't aware of this until our wonderful president resigned due to pressure, disrespect, and rudeness - which culminated in official letters demanding her impeachment from three people - and explained how she didn't feel welcome in the community anymore due to those attacks and the refusal to back down. Once she left the room, I immediately burst into tears, and I was later told that the disrespect and pressure from these few members had been transpiring throughout the entire semester, bringing on stress and anxiety to all members of the QSA exec board.

This, to me, is completely unacceptable. It takes me back to my second QSA meeting, when these same few people chastised me for wanting QSA to strike a balance between an activist group and a support group (They very passive-aggressively told me to check out other groups for my support needs). During that same meeting, I heard comments that allies who simply told us they loved us for who we were weren't doing enough, and I quote from someone, were "not [their] ******** ally." This completely insane notion baffled me, as we as a community rely on the love of our allies to overcome the hate outside. The little things allies do add up, and to have them be told that people didn't want their support is appalling.

What's truly ironic is that these people claim that they want unity, equality, and love, when in the end they spit in the faces of their allies and even their LGBT peers when not everything is going their way. Not only is it hypocritical, but it is also destructive. I nearly left QSA after that meeting, and I know plenty of people who actually did leave because of this behavior. But the true supporters kept me around, the supporters who became my friends. I have told the members of the board that if needed I will return to campus to lecture QSA on proper etiquette and behavior, because if these people want love and respect, they need to strike a balance between passion and compassion.

In a way, I feel very sorry for them. They have lost their way in figuring out the intent of the LGBT community. They are isolationists, while we are attempting to become a part of the community at large as accepted members of society. It's like Malcolm X when he said black people and white people couldn't co-exist - now members of the LGBT community are following the same agenda, and it's hurting the cause. It's not just about marriage equality or petitioning - it's about community and love for everyone, not just queer people. And I will continue to fight for that loving community.

You may now unfasten your seatbelts. Please discuss:
- People who don't seem to get it
- Moments in which you have felt betrayed or hurt by others
- What you've done to support those you love
- Your thoughts on the LGBT community and those few people who attempt to distort the significance of that community
- Your advice on what I should do to help QSA before my graduation in two weeks

UPDATE: The vice president of QSA (who is one of my good friends) asked to talk to me today [May 9th, 2011]. He wanted to let me know that he, too, was stepping down because as soon as he assumed presidency, he too got impeachment letters. Just right off the bat. It's gotten bad and immature and inane, so he and the former president have decided to split from QSA and create a new club either called Haven or Sanctuary, in which allies and queers unite and if you say anything out of line, you're out.

I wholeheartedly gave him my blessing for the new group, and the irony still is there that QSA (QUEER STRAIGHT ALLIANCE, PEOPLE) is not an alliance at all. However, it'll be nice to see those people who were hellbent on destroying everything be left behind. I didn't want a separation to happen, but it's gotten to the point where it's necessary, and I respect that.

So...yay. Happy news. smile  

[Violaceous Vertigo]

all your sanity and wits they will all vanish, I promise....

I hear you sister.
My last job was at a University, and I was suuuper excited to join up (as a community member, rather than a student) with their new LGBT society.

Well, didn't it turn out to be run by a bunch of people who had no idea what they were doing and didn't want to give up any perceived idea of power? First day we were there they went around the room asking what everyone's orientation was. They even stated that it was not for allies, only queers. Supposedly so that we could "have our own place where we can be ourselves." bullshit.

Eventually they got the boot, and a different society was put up in it's place: The SMU-Q society. They don't care what you identify as (orientation or gender) and they actually went through the proper channels to have the society ratified properly. I really hope it sticks around...

This didn't happen without the previous society's executive members raising a stink though.

As for you...Not really sure what you can do in two weeks. If you're sticking around you might be able to help over the summer though. I know with our society if there are more than two thirds who want one or more the current executives out they can motion to have a vote at any time. Not sure about you though. You might need to go in and give a speech about doing the right thing Captain Picard style.

PS: Some of the nastiest comments about bisexuals that I have heard were from gay guys. sad

...It's just a matter of time.

 

[cheesy nipples]

Any group or society is bound to have members that have different ideas of how things should be run. Often, the minority will strive for a cause that they think is inline with the groups ideals, believing what they do is best.

These people are blinded by their own ideals. They don't see the bigger picture.

Isolationists are to be pitied. Its only by getting out there, embracing the new ideals and the hopes of people that a group will survive. Trying to get them to see that is not easy. Often, they don't want to see it.

Those that stay true to the ideals of the group need to stay together. It's not easy, especially when you are under pressure from your own people.

The only thing you can do is stay strong. Anyone trying to keep a group together, to lead a group or even just support a group is in for a tough time.

Get those of you who think the same together. Only by standing together can you move on and keep the community together. Those that don't like the way things are going have the choice: talk it through like civilised people, or leave.
They cannot expect everyone to bend to their will.


I have no idea what I'm really trying to say, as I have not been in a group like that, or had to deal with a similar situation. So I hope the jibberish above makes some sense somewhere. sweatdrop  

[Nu Lucrezia]

it's actually a shame that these people have that kind of attitude. Gay, Straight, Bi or whatever, some people are just dicks

If people are going for the power play that suits themselves rather than the whole group, then ******** them.  

[Reeves]

Many people have asked me why I don't just start a brand new group that's more accepting of both allies and LGBT members. The main problem is that I'm graduating, but I also would never want to split people up any more than they already are. I feel like if we can overcome the haters, QSA will be a better place. It's just difficult when they're hellbent on destroying everything that just doesn't click with them.  

[cheesy nipples]

Its no use forming another group to get away from teh haters. You form another group you're basically letting them win, plus it sort of makes you one of them.
You'd be doing the same sort of thing to them that they're trying to do to the whatsits.

Its an awkward situation to be in.  

[Reeves]

cheesy nipples

Its no use forming another group to get away from teh haters. You form another group you're basically letting them win, plus it sort of makes you one of them.
You'd be doing the same sort of thing to them that they're trying to do to the whatsits.

Its an awkward situation to be in.

I totally agree with you on everything you said. I did talk to someone who helps with Campus Life, and they know what's been going on, too. They were considering even stepping in because QSA is one of their strongest clubs and they can't afford losing it.

All I can really do is support - which, in a way, is the best thing I can do.  

[cheesy nipples]

Reeves

cheesy nipples

Its no use forming another group to get away from teh haters. You form another group you're basically letting them win, plus it sort of makes you one of them.
You'd be doing the same sort of thing to them that they're trying to do to the whatsits.

Its an awkward situation to be in.

I totally agree with you on everything you said. I did talk to someone who helps with Campus Life, and they know what's been going on, too. They were considering even stepping in because QSA is one of their strongest clubs and they can't afford losing it.

All I can really do is support - which, in a way, is the best thing I can do.

Yeah.
It's not always wanted, its not always noticed, but support is something that is always needed.  

[Reeves]

cheesy nipples

Reeves

cheesy nipples

Its no use forming another group to get away from teh haters. You form another group you're basically letting them win, plus it sort of makes you one of them.
You'd be doing the same sort of thing to them that they're trying to do to the whatsits.

Its an awkward situation to be in.

I totally agree with you on everything you said. I did talk to someone who helps with Campus Life, and they know what's been going on, too. They were considering even stepping in because QSA is one of their strongest clubs and they can't afford losing it.

All I can really do is support - which, in a way, is the best thing I can do.

Yeah.
It's not always wanted, its not always noticed, but support is something that is always needed.

Indeed. biggrin  

[cheesy nipples]

Reeves

cheesy nipples

Reeves

cheesy nipples

Its no use forming another group to get away from teh haters. You form another group you're basically letting them win, plus it sort of makes you one of them.
You'd be doing the same sort of thing to them that they're trying to do to the whatsits.

Its an awkward situation to be in.

I totally agree with you on everything you said. I did talk to someone who helps with Campus Life, and they know what's been going on, too. They were considering even stepping in because QSA is one of their strongest clubs and they can't afford losing it.

All I can really do is support - which, in a way, is the best thing I can do.

Yeah.
It's not always wanted, its not always noticed, but support is something that is always needed.

Indeed. biggrin

I think that may be the smartest thing I've said in a long time.  

[Reeves]

cheesy nipples

Reeves

cheesy nipples

Reeves

cheesy nipples

Its no use forming another group to get away from teh haters. You form another group you're basically letting them win, plus it sort of makes you one of them.
You'd be doing the same sort of thing to them that they're trying to do to the whatsits.

Its an awkward situation to be in.

I totally agree with you on everything you said. I did talk to someone who helps with Campus Life, and they know what's been going on, too. They were considering even stepping in because QSA is one of their strongest clubs and they can't afford losing it.

All I can really do is support - which, in a way, is the best thing I can do.

Yeah.
It's not always wanted, its not always noticed, but support is something that is always needed.

Indeed. biggrin

I think that may be the smartest thing I've said in a long time.

I think this may be the smartest thing you've said ever. pirate  

[Couture Debonair]

:C This somehow reminds me of when a man came to the HS to give a speech about the holocaust. It was open to the public and suddenly people just started yelling crazy things. They were trying to destroy his speech from the inside.

I am not really sure what I am getting at there...

Anyways, I believe Vio said something about giving a speech. If there isn't much time- this might be your best option. Otherwise, maybe the group needs to regroup and go back to the roots. I think you mentioned something about some of them perhaps losing their way or something... maybe they have just lost sight of what the true meaning of this group is. A refresher course of what is and is not acceptable in the group and then a contract to sign to agree to respect and blah blah blah... what am I trying to say here... I had something and I lost it. Shoot.

Uhh- I think what I am trying to say is that even at my work after a year people become lax and forget to do things. We always have to do refresher courses and such to make sure we are on the right path and doing the right things for the animals. Sometimes, people just get into their own rut and forget, "Oh yeah- that is why I joined this to begin with!" At that time it also gives people a chance to leave if they'd like. If they don't hold the same thoughts, values, and what-nots-its...

... or something...

I'm ranting now...

... please stop me...

.... I am tired.  

[Theodra]

I would definitely do something to
try and regroup and refocus the
group as a whole. It really seems
like some people are in it for their
own personal gain, which tends
to happen in every club/organization
in college.

Something like this happened the
other day in a club I'm in on campus,
when there was a fight during
elections. It's all so petty and stupid.

 

[Reeves]

Interesting how you guys have this advice, because I actually have an update.

The vice president of QSA (who is one of my good friends) asked to talk to me today. He wanted to let me know that he, too, was stepping down because as soon as he assumed presidency, he too got impeachment letters. Just right off the bat. It's gotten bad and immature and inane, so he and the former president have decided to split from QSA and create a new club either called Haven or Sanctuary, in which allies and queers unite and if you say anything out of line, you're out.

I wholeheartedly gave him my blessing for the new group, and the irony still is there that QSA (QUEER STRAIGHT ALLIANCE, PEOPLE) is not an alliance at all. However, it'll be nice to see those people who were hellbent on destroying everything be left behind. I didn't want a separation to happen, but it's gotten to the point where it's necessary, and I respect that.

So...yay. Happy news. smile  

[NogginDew]

Yay! I'm glad things worked out better than expected!

-pulls out a soap box and stands on it-

...-ahem-

What bothers me the most in the LGBTQIA community is the hate within the queer community itself. I had a friend once tell me that he doesn't like to fight for other queer groups because he can't identify with them and they can't identify with him. I wanted to slap him but I chose, instead, show him the bigger picture.

It doesn't matter if you're lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, questioning/curious, intersex, or even a straight ally; we're all fighting the same fight. The fight for equality for all. The fight to be seen as human beings under the constitution and law of the government with the belief that all men and women were, in fact, made equal. We as people can ALL agree on that, and to hate on another queer group because of petty differences is taking a step in the opposite direction. Those who speak with hate and venom towards a fellow queer needs to either be educated or booted out. We don't have time for distractions, we have a goal to meet and we've picked up significant speed. Dead weight needs to be dropped if it threatens to slow us down.

-steps down off of soap box-