How can you deal with people you absolutely HATE?

[Beautiful Propaganda]

I'm under eighteen, so I live at home and moving isn't legally possible for a few years, and I think I'm about to jump off the roof with this stuff.
My sister Vanessa is I'm not sure what, I hate labeling people but I really have to say she's retarded or something. She says random things all the time,- not even in English, she'll just stare off into space and be like hejfnadg!! or something- and she only does it really loudly. She insults me all the time and makes up lies about me to our mom, like "Oh! Caitlyn did it!" and she did it all along, She won't even be next to me without yelling something at me about my 'weird clothes' or 'oh you stink!!1!!11' But if I say something to her, like pointing out she spelled something wrong or pick up the water bottle she threw at me, she freaks out and turns into the ultimate b***h to me and a angel to mom. She's not a little baby, either. She's almost 13.
My mom couldn't care less about the whole thing. Maybe 'cause I'm an accidental baby, whatever. She yells at me all the time about what Vanessa says I did, and how worthless I am. She actually told me "You'll have to be a prostitute when you move out because you won't be smart enough to do anything else!" I know I have no rights till I'm 18 but it's a bit much, I think. She'll bang on my door and when I come out she'll scream at me and won't even tell me what I did. Maybe she's just messed up about Emma dying, I don't know. But, that was ten years ago. How long does getting over it take?
My dad isn't home much so except for hearing Vanessa's lies from mom he doesn't do much to me. I know, once again with the 'no rights' stuff, but he never even gives me a reason. It's always psychological. I've been looking for a red lightbulb in my room, and my dad found one when he went to the store and he let me get it. It's not totally bright, but it's fine with me. Yesterday, this goes on:
Me: "What's wrong with having a dark room?"
Dad: "Umm...it's psychological." And that's all he'll say about it. Same with me having any kind of dark paint in my room, black red purple dark blue, it doesn't matter if my mom says okay because he thinks it's going to make me...what? I don't even know. Same with staying inside on hot days, "Get outside! You need sun. It's psychological."
So I pretty much have no idea how to stand my family untill I'm 18. Can anyone help?  

[ncsweet]

Was Emma another sister? Just wondering, because no matter how long it's been, it very well can be something that a parent never gets over. And the ways that we cope with grief, often manifest in a variety of ways - not all of them are healthy.

My mother passed away 11 years ago and for the last 10 years I buried my grief in a deep dark pit - this year for whatever reason (probably due to other stressful crap that is going on) I am almost to the point of not being able to function any more. It didn't help that the my aunt and grandmother both died within a year or so of my mom, and those were the 3 people in the world that I was closest too when I was growing up. Things that I have noticed about myself since loosing them are that I tend to not get emotionally involved with anything if I can avoid it. As I am married and have 2 kids, you can imagine that doesn't go so well. But it's true - I am apathetic at best over things that other people might actually get upset over, or even happy over. My oldest (I'm sure) thinks I'm a royal b***h when I don't seem to care about his petty (and it is often petty) problems, but compared to what I've had to go through - it's nothing. I realize too that I am the one broken, but I also don't have the money or insurance necessary to get it fixed, and so those around me suffer. It's probably not as horrible as I make it sound, but I know it's not good either.

How this relates to you, is that (and again this is assuming that Emma was a sister or close relative), your parents may not be able to cope with their grief very well. Your sister Vanessa is doing what she thinks is necessary to get their attention (because we all know that negative attention is better than no attention at all). As to why your mom is always insulting you, again it could be a manifestation of her grief/depression. Sometimes it is easier to push people away, or lash out at the ones who love us, because in theory they because they love you they will put up with it. It puts you in a really bad position because you are stuck having to bear the brunt of it, with no kind of support system. I can tell you first hand that not having a support system sucks. I know this will sound completely unfair (especially if you haven't actually done anything wrong), but your best bet (for a while anyways) might be to just do as much as you can to "tow the line" (as they say). Don't argue, or complain, and go out of your way to help around the house without being asked. See if things don't settle down in a couple of months. Also if you have the chance, talk with your guidance counselor at school and see if they have any advice.

As someone who wanted to paint her room black when I was your age, I can completely sympathize. My mom compromised and let me paint my the frame around my windows black, let me get black window blinds, and black sheets/comforter for my bed. So my advice is look for ways that you can compromise. You can always try the old bait and switch - politely ask for something really outrageous (that you really don't want, and you know they will never agree to), and when they say no, come back with well can I have "this" (the thing that you really want) instead. It's always worth a shot.  

[Beautiful Propaganda]

Emma was my sister, but she died right after she was born, I think. I was 5, so I didn't get told very much about it.
I'm homeschooled, so I guess my mom is my guidance counselor, I used to go to school but she pulled me out right after winter break in 2005/6. I never asked why, but there was a big fight the day before so I guess it was my punishment.
Sometimes I'd say I deserve being hit, because I can be a b***h for no real reason. It's probably harder than I imagine for Emma to die, since I never had kids myself yet.  

[ncsweet]

If she is actually beating you, you can call social services or a local crisis agency. That isn't acceptable no matter what.

Since you are home schooled, you may want to look up on the internet and see if there are any online (free) counseling groups that you can talk to that might be able to give you more help.  

[divine_retrobution]

Beautiful Propaganda

Emma was my sister, but she died right after she was born, I think. I was 5, so I didn't get told very much about it.
I'm homeschooled, so I guess my mom is my guidance counselor, I used to go to school but she pulled me out right after winter break in 2005/6. I never asked why, but there was a big fight the day before so I guess it was my punishment.
Sometimes I'd say I deserve being hit, because I can be a b***h for no real reason. It's probably harder than I imagine for Emma to die, since I never had kids myself yet.

Dont let her hit you for the love of god! I dont care what she says youve done thats wrong!!