I am confused, I just scared the hell out of myself.

[Etherealemblem]

The lord of lies will try everything to steal your soul, let him get naught.  

[LadyAmbrosia]

A similar thing happened to me when I was suicidal; I was going to kill myself, but I started shaking so badly that I couldn't lift the knife. I beleive that it was God stoping me. It sounds like it's the same for you. Prayer really helps me when I'm depressed. Just lean on God, He can help us through anything!