Gay Dating Question D:

[rizuhbull]

Who drives if both are guys? sweatdrop

I know "the man needs to always drive!" is a sexist notion, so I guess my base question is "if someone takes a lead in a date, who should it be and how is it decided?"

I.e. what activities you do on the date, where you go, etc.  

[The Bodacious Soul Reaper]

It depends, who's the most dominant in the relationship? At least if you wanna view it that way. Personally I think the person should drive whenever they want to, as it doesn't really matter. : )
I had an extremely O.C.D. boyfriend, who every time I would drive he would shout things like "OH MY GOD WE'RE GONNA DIE!" and other things that were more demeaning, obviously we're not together. Sometimes in older couples the woman doesn't want the man to drive as he may have poorer eye sight, or the other way around.
But my point is, is it doesn't really matter who drives, jus' who ever wants to drive. ^_^

 

[Thirteenth_Floor]

usually when i think of this, i think of whoever extends the courtesy of the date in the first place. if ability is not an issue, than it should be the responsibility of the one who offered the date to provide the means, but that's just from a politeness standpoint

in terms of dating itself, either one should be able to take the lead, as long as no one's overstepping any boundaries on what is done, and the agreements are somewhat mutual smile

basically? people don't have to be dominant in a relationship, just as long as they are harmonious in a relationship enough, things should all fall into place easier without question smile

 

[rizuhbull]

Thanks for the replies you two.

sans-coeur13

basically? people don't have to be dominant in a relationship, just as long as they are harmonious in a relationship enough, things should all fall into place easier without question smile

That's what I thought :3  

[Shanna66]

whoever gets to the door first opens it. and whoever feels like driving is the one who will drive. the whole dom sub thing is a typical relationship is kind of silly imo. although usually my husband is the "one in charge" on our outings i still drive us sometimes and i still pay every once in a while even though usually its with the money he makes xd

the only reason my husband drives more often is because i hate driving places and his car doesnt have black leather seats like mine does  

[lgtenos]

It varies per person.

There are so many vantage points when it comes to dating. Is the date one-sided? Is the date mutual? Is there an expectation to the date, or is it casual? All-in-all, what matters is the level of enjoyment from both individuals. Leads shouldn't have to be taken in the ideal situation. If that isn't the case, then I strongly suggest rethinking the motive to date.

In all of my past dating experiences (and I am indeed a gay male), rarely anyone took the initiative. Most of the time, things were balanced, which lead to better enjoyment of the date. Don't think too hard about these things; just go with the flow~  

[Pink Slowpoke]

I don't think even heterosexual couples have the "man" take control for every date, I think the general rule of thumb is whoever instigates the date is in control and "drives".  

[Lady Kayura]

Who drives? Who asked who out? If you asked him out to someplace, you drive. If he asked you out, he drives.

I'm female and dating a man and I'll drive if I want to take him out somewhere.

I'm a fan of dinner and a movie. Or, dinner at the movies (neat place, you order food and get to watch a movie while eating!)

I've done putt putt golf on a date, go to the zoo, visit a park, or go bowling.

What do you two like to do?  

[Taeryyn]

In my case, it's never me who drives, as I don't have a license. razz I wouldn't invite someone to do something that requires a car, though.

I don't think there's any sort of rule for this sort of thing. It would depend on the people involved, as well as who extended the invitation, and where you were going. *shrug*  

[Hashtagihateit]

I don't really date, but me personally, I'm more feminine and female like, usually.

However, I like to be the one in control of everything, is that bad? Probably. Your situation specifically, I don't drive so I'd make the other guy drive.

Considering how a gay relationship is between two men, I think you guys should alternate to the best of your ability.

With exceptions like, not being able to drive, or having a dui or something, hahaa.

Am I rambling? Yes.  

[noigel]

The one who asked the other person out on the date?  

[Isla Finch]

in my experiance... it just came natural. though i suppose if its your car you drive if its his car. he drives. it really doesnt matter who is the "man" of the relationship. you both are.