Rape and Abuse Discussion Sticky - Updated 6/28

[rebel2501]

Velvet_eyes

Acrylic_Duckie

I was raped 10 years ago. I was 14. It was 1-ish AM. I was at a friends house about 3 blocks away from home. I was drunk and walking home. I was walking down the normal streets but it was dark. I was about 2 blocks from home and this guy passed me, walking in the opposite direction. He looked at me, I remember that. I didn't see his face but I saw his eyes. I think he grabbed me fron behind and pulled me into an alley that was right there. He hit me over the head repeatedly until I was almost passed out. He kept his hand over my mouth and shoved dirt and rocks in my mouth to try and keep me quiet. When he was done, he got up and kicked me in the stomach then ran off. I stood up and staggered home. I never told my mother about it, but I did tell the police. Unfortunately, they never found out who did it. Another bad thing happened when I found out I was pregnant from this. At that point I thought my life was over and I attempted suicide. While I was in the hospital, I had a miscarriage. It took me many years of counselling and medication to get over this horrible and tragic experience. The reason this seems so rushed as I type is probably due to the fact that I've talked about this so many times that it comes out faster than it does in my head. But I assure you, the feelings and hurt were real. I'm over it now. But it will always be a part of me.

I've said my bit. Feel free to comment.

OMFG! ok first of all. y were u drunk at 14? second, What the ******** are people thinking?!?! do they think one morning, "i'm gonna go rape someone today!"
I mean damn. Are they ******** insane?!? I mean, honestly!!!! Sometimes I just wanna....grrrrrr....can't even explain it's so bad!!!

tell you the truth I would never hesitate to put a bullet on rapist. Sure have done it before. Even though I've never killed but for rapist I wold not hesitate  

[Ziannith]

i don't expect anyone to read all of this, but i just wanted to get it out well... i've only ever told some friends about this. when i was 15, i snuck out of the house while my mom was sleeping. i went to my best friend's (at the time) house, and there were a lot of ppl there and we were all getting high. I was sort of teasing my guy friend i told him my bra had a zipper. i was wearing a low-cut shirt...sort of flaunting. then my best friend went to her room to give some guy a b*****b. my guy friend pulled my shirt down was touching me. another came up behind me and pulled down my pants. i decided to get away from them and go see if my eyes were red from getting high. when i went into my friends bathroom, the guy who had pulled down my pants asked to watch me pee. i said no and the my guy friend came in and started grabbing me. i told him to stop and gave empty threats. (he'd done things like this to me before and empty threats always worked) he was persistent. i tried to leave the bathroom and his brother held the door shut. the guy who was bothering me grabbed my wrists. suddenly i was on the sink. i had backed myself into a corner. the guy who had come in first was just standing there staring. i tried to do whatever i could to hurt the guy who was now all over me. he was reaching into my clothes. i tried to scream but no sound would come out. i realized there was nothing i could do and then i gave up. then i blacked out. the next thing i remember is standing outside the bathroom shaking. the next day at school he came up to me and sat down right next to me and whispered. "you're a f****** liar" my best friend chose him over me. and we don't talk anymore. the guy in question moved out of state (because his brother was in trouble with the law) and all this happened in 2003 so it's too late to do anything aboout it now. all i can think about is how he could be doing stuff to other ppl and i could have prevented it. and i blame myself for being a tease to him, i know that its wrong to think that but i still do. and now i can't stand the thought of anyone touching me. i don't date anymore. i wear baggy clothes and slouch so nobody can look at me. i feel dirty, unclean.  

[Nikolita]

You could always still trying to report it to the police, even if they can't do anything about your case. I mean if you know the guys involved, or can at least give a physical description, they might be able to make that information available for other people, in case they've been made victims by these guys too.

As for not being able to get over it, I don't blame you. However have you tried looking into counselling, therapy or support groups of some sort? It'd probably be able to help you with your self-esteem and body issues, if nothing else.
And it wasn't your fault for being a tease, he could've chosen to resist your teasing, and it was wrong of him (and the other guys) to back you into a corner and take advantage of you like that. It wasn't your fault. Well at your age I'm pretty sure it was illegal for you to be doing drugs, but again, he shouldn't have taken advantage of you if you were high.

I guess just do to the police and look into therapy/counselling if you can. And if you can't get yourself help, ask someone (parents, trusted adult, close friend, counsellor, etc) to get help for you.  

[Chaylee]

Is it okay if I share my story?


I've been a victim of rape twice in my life. By two different guys. All happened within two years.

I was thirteen years old, and was starting seventh grade, meaning that I had to go to a new school. I liked things for the most part. But there was this teacher that I didn't get along with well. We faught. He was such an a*****e. He would embarress me in front of all the other students. He made me stand out from the rest of them. I got really upset with everything that he was doing. He would make me do embarressing things. I told my mom eventually, and she got upset and called the school. They talked to him, and he must have realized what he was doing. Though, now I think he knew all along what he was doing.
One day I showed up at school to find him standing next to my locker. I didn't pay any attention to him, and just put my stuff up and started to walk to my first period class which was ironically, his. I heard him hollar at me. So I turned to find him following me. He jogged up to me, and then asked if we could talk. I said okay. He put his arm around me, and walked with me down the hall, pulling me close to his body. He apologized for what he had done, and pretty much begged me to not switch my english teachers. I said that it was okay, and that I wouldn't switch. He was so happy that he hugged me. Tightly. Which kinda freaked me out, but I let it go.
From then on, things were weird. He treated me so differently. Almost like I was a princess. As if I was 'teacher's pet'. It bugged me in a way, because I got good grades, and kids always said it was because he "liked" me. In class sometimes, he would touch me in ways I found innappropriate. He would just walk up to me, and just hold my hand. Or a few times, he called me over to him, and had me come behind his desk, and he would talk to me with his arm around my waist. One day I somehow ended up in his classroom with just him and I. It was after school. But I can't remember why I was there. I think it might have been for band practice. But I was there with him, and he started touching me. I tried to ignore it. But it kept getting worse.
He grabbed my arms and pulled me close. I could feel his body heat, and I could smell his scent. He told me, "I love you." And then he had the balls to say, "And you love me too, right?" I had no idea what to say. So I said nothing. I was so scared and confused. His hands started to explore me, and I closed my eyes tight, clenching my teeth. He grabbed my crotch and I winced. He said to calm down, that things would be okay. He undid my jeans, and I later came to find out that his were already done. He kissed my lips, and then it finally registered that everything was wrong. I tried to push him away, asking him and then telling him to stop. But he just grabbed my arms tighter. He told me to shut up. But I wouldn't. He got frustrated, and I yelled "no!". He hit me. I pushed on his arms and body, trying to get free, but it didn't work. He pushed into me. And my innocence was taken.
I told no one about what had happened. I kind of hinted towards there being something going on between him and I to my friends, but they thought I was crazy. The incident happened right before semester changed. And after that semester, I never had him for a class again. I kept it all a secret. Not wanting to tell anyone.

The beginning of my eighth grade year, I hooked up with a guy that I had been with at the beginning of seventh grade year. We had split up, mostly because of me. He had become very controlling. And I didn't like it. But I got back with him. And that was stupid. We dated for about 3 months before anything really started to happen. We were at the movies one night when things happened. We had gone there a few times before together. So I didn't think anything of it. I should have though.
We were just sitting there, and he started to kiss me. He kissed me many many times. It was like he did it every thirty seconds. I got frustrated, but he kept doing it. Kissing him one time, he moved to try and get his hands down my pants. I grabbed his hand and stopped him. He tried it again. But once again, I stopped him. I took his hand and just held it, with my legs crossed. That was a mistake. He took the hand that I was holding his with, and he brought it over to his crotch. I took it away, but he grabbed me once more and made me touch him, holding my hand there, making me rub and press down on his p***s. Finally he let go, and I was really pissed now. One more time he tried to get down my pants. But I stopped him. He sighed, obviously mad at me.
He leaned over and grabbed my face, kissing me. I tried to pull away, but as I did, he was laying me back down across the seats (yes, the theater freeking keeps the arm rests UP, and ours was up as well). His hands went to my arms. He then sat up and looked at me, sitting on top of me. He reached in his pocket. His pants were already undone. He took a condom and put it on. I couldn't move. I should have right then. I was so scared that I couldn't. He came back down, and pinned my arms down. It was then that I knew I had to fight. I squirmed and tried to push him off of me. But I couldn't do it. He was too strong. He came down and penetrated me, all the while whispering how he loved me. I begged him to stop. I cried and cried and just begged him- told him. He just kept saying that he loved me.
I ran to the bathroom once he had finished, and stayed there for the rest of the movie. That night when I went home, after dropping him off (had to ride with mom, I was only 14- she obviously had dropped us off there, though), I went straight to the bathroom and cut the crap out of my wrists.
We broke up not long after that. Well... I told him that he was an a**, and said I didn't want anything to do with him again. I later found out that I was pregnant. I tried to keep it a secret. But obviously couldn't. That was a huge mess. I did something which I regret so much now. But then, it seemed to be the right thing. I wish I wouldn't have done it...

Neither of them have been officially reported. I told my therapist about what my boyfriend had done, and then a few other people that have tried to help me through it. I didn't come out about the first guy until about six months ago. Because of who he is, I was told that I was lying. I had to write a letter of apology TO HIM! No one would listen to me. My therapist left me over it, afraid that I would "accuse" him of hurting me too. Things are still really hard. And I'm trying to get over them. I've met the greatest man that I could ever ask for, and we're planning on getting married. I still have a hard time though. With both of the guys, and also about my baby. But I've got to stay strong. I've tried to commit suicide more than once. Thankfully I was found each time. Being a survivor is hard, but sometimes it really proves just how strong a person can be.  

[Koiyuki]

Various People

...he violated me...I didn't see it coming...he didn't seem like thhat kind of guy...my innocence was taken...

And people wonder why my avi is a girl and why i don't have strong male instead of female leads in my stories and RPs...*is disgusted by his own kind at the moment*  

[Chaylee]

This thread seems to be very dead. I guess I was just wanting to know if there's anyone that really comes here, because I find myself in need to just vent some times. But I don't want to come here and post if no one else is gonna be around... sweatdrop  

[Nikolita]

Chaylee

This thread seems to be very dead. I guess I was just wanting to know if there's anyone that really comes here, because I find myself in need to just vent some times. But I don't want to come here and post if no one else is gonna be around... sweatdrop

You can come and talk about your rape when you like... if you want to vent because you're angry, you can post here (as long as it's on topic), or in the rant thread if it's off topic.
Sometimes people post, sometimes they don't. People who have never been abused or raped might have a harder time knowing what to say if they haven't been through what you have, so just keep that in mind.
But yeah, you can come talk here when you'd like. No worries. smile  

[SwEeTcAkE_BaBe]

The Legionette

Indalamar

The Legionette

crap. of all kinds of threads to have why one about rape?

scream This is what this guild is about... helping people with there problems... at least that is what I can see.... and to be little what people have put here... is... well I cant really say but basiclly somthing like Interwizz had to say.

I meant isnt better to forget things like that? I mean why would you wish to discuss some thing that you cant change and only hurts? I meant no offence to anyone.

because with some victims it is easier to talk about it than to keep it bottled up inside  

[The head of the CIA]

I wonder if I should post my story.  

[The Legionette]

The head of the CIA

I wonder if I should post my story.

I think you should. You'll be the first man I've ever heard of being raped. I don't even think men can be raped.  

[Nikolita]

The Legionette

The head of the CIA

I wonder if I should post my story.

I think you should. You'll be the first man I've ever heard of being raped. I don't even think men can be raped.

Uh.... they can be raped. sweatdrop There's a**l sex, or when a woman forces a man to have intercourse.  

[Chaylee]

Nikolita

The Legionette

The head of the CIA

I wonder if I should post my story.

I think you should. You'll be the first man I've ever heard of being raped. I don't even think men can be raped.

Uh.... they can be raped. sweatdrop There's a**l sex, or when a woman forces a man to have intercourse.

I know a few men that have been raped. I met them on a website for rape victims. It certainly is possible.  

[Nikolita]

Chaylee

Nikolita

The Legionette

The head of the CIA

I wonder if I should post my story.

I think you should. You'll be the first man I've ever heard of being raped. I don't even think men can be raped.

Uh.... they can be raped. sweatdrop There's a**l sex, or when a woman forces a man to have intercourse.

I know a few men that have been raped. I met them on a website for rape victims. It certainly is possible.

Yep, that was my point.  

[The Legionette]

Nikolita

The Legionette

The head of the CIA

I wonder if I should post my story.

I think you should. You'll be the first man I've ever heard of being raped. I don't even think men can be raped.

Uh.... they can be raped. sweatdrop There's a**l sex, or when a woman forces a man to have intercourse.

Mod edit: This comment was offensive and inappropriate. My apologies if anyone was offended by it.  

[Naylian]

wotfan

I like this thread Idea and i am glad you posted rules, I saw a guy in LI tell a girl she made herself a victim because she was scared to go to the police. I got angry and told him off, He informed me that I made myself a victim too. I was so angry I am fairly comfortable telling my story now, I wasnt but my husband has helped me get past that.......

I was attacked in the woods by my house when I was 10 almost 11, by 4 maybe 5 guys I cant be sure. I was riding my bike home and someone grabbed my braid from behind, I never saw them. I think I hit a rock when I fell I had a bruise under my hair for a couple weeks.(sorry this drags I have problems actually describing the rape still) Anyways I was held down by 2 guys while they took turns with me, I dont think i was the first for them because they were really careful not to do anything that would show. They didnt use protection, but i hadnt hit puberty yet. one of them was really turned on by drowning or pain i think, he held me upside down and kept dunking my head in the creek while he raped me. I definatly think i was "cased" They only gagged me during the water portion the rest of it I was silent because they threatened to kill my brother if i made a sound, and make me watch and then kill me. I was then left there alone with the threat that if I ever told they would kill me and my brother. I was naive and so believed every word in my 10 year old head so i never told anyone. I went home and took the longest shower of my life, I didnt have intercourse again until I was 17. I never went to the authorities, its to long dead now my parents and brother dont know. The first person i ever told was my husband, telling him made me feel like I had a weight lifted. I now feel that being able to talk about what happened to me loosens the hold they had on my whole life.

My husband helped me in so many ways, before I met him I was closed off. I would never set foot outside after dark, I would not go to the woods anywhere by myself. We actually do exercises to help me feel more in control of myself. He bought me a belt knife and taught me how to use my keys in self defense. The hardest thing we work on is the outside after dark thing, we go to the edge of the park in our neighborhood and I walk ahead 20 paces and he just follows and comes to me if i have a panic attack, It was really hard at first but its getting better.

I just read everything I just posted, I never realized how much I changed in 3 years. Support helps but if you are in a situation like i was in and dont have it. I am here, to any who have experienced this pain you are not alone, you have friends.

Oh my,
thats terrible.. I am so sorry to hear that crying I'm here to lend you my support. smile Its good you have someone now who can look after you heart Its good you were able to share your feelings with us. it must of took a lot of courage..
be strong redface