Things We Aren't Allowed to do in The TARDIS

[Skysong the dragon]

I have about four sides of these...although it started to meander into suggestive comments after the first two pages. Here's just a few:

*I am not to sing the Time Warp every time the Doctor attempts to take off.

*I am not to ask Jack if the coat is compensating for something, he will feel the need to prove me wrong.

*I should never mention the 'four things and a lizard', especially in front of Jack.

*While amusing, placing signs reading “salt” and “pepper” on Daleks is not appropriate.

*Telling Star Wars fans that the sonic screwdriver is a mini working light sabre is hazardous to health  

[VragBlades]

I am not allowed to make alterations to the exotic matter shell.

I am not allowed to explain to people how the inside/outside thing works.
-Even if I swear it'll take under an hour this time.
--Even if their civilization could almost do it.
---ESPECIALLY if their civilization could actually do it.

I am not allowed to eat any components of the TARDIS.

I am not allowed to try tasting the time vortex again.

I am not allowed in the library unsupervised.
-Addendum, apparently I'm not allowed anywhere unsupervised.
--Further addendum, apparently I cannot count myself as adult supervision.  

[Eclipse13579]

I AM allowed to throw the doctor's fez into the air. (As long as River Song is nearby with a blaster.)
I'm not allowed to, under any circumstances, turn all the lights off in the tardis and ask "Hey, who turned out the lights??" over and over again.
I'm not allowed to tell him that he's late for amy's wedding.
I'm not allowed to designate the whole upstairs as a "Dalek-proof area."

I'm not allowed to draw cracks on the wall in glow in the dark paint. or angels. definitely not angels.

I'm not allowed to tell him he's acting like the valeyard. (He will smack his head on the console until he regenerates.)

I'm not allowed to meet myself in another dimension, no matter how much I assure him we can outrun a platoon of cybermen..

I'm not allowed to go calling everything, "The ______ of Rassilon."

I'm not to go near the eye of harmony. (Not even if I tell him it just sounds like a cool place to meditate.)

I am not to mention jack. ever. at all. not even if it's a funny joke about him always keeping a bit of the doctor close to him.

I'm not allowed to use a shimmer and expect him not to turn it off again.

I'm not allowed to call spiky green aliens cactus people.  

[Jina Everlong]

I am not aloud to try on all his clothes and go around saying 'Trust me, I'm a Doctor,' in an English accent.

I am not aloud to go back in time and interefere with my parents meeting eachother, lose the Tardis to a bully and then run into a past doctor.

{This one is in response to Skysong..} I am not aloud to sing 'Back in Time' everytime we take off.

I am not aloud to sing 'Back in Time,' everytime the Doctor says 'back in time.'  

[Great_Wall_of_Prophecy]

I am not allowed to:

Suggest that Daleks are cute

Call 10 The Time Pimp

Tell the doctor to get a Sonic Mitten-string for his TARDIS

Inquire as to Sonic the Hedgehog's creation
*he was drunk
**he went to a local Sonic Upgrade Centre and placed a rodent on the counter.
***then he wandered away...remembering that he had left his TARDIS...somewhere...

make a red imitation TARDIS called The RE-TARDIS...trust me he wasn't thrilled.  

[Great_Wall_of_Prophecy]

I am also not allowed to:

1. Replace the TARDIS with a Port-a-Potty

2. Run off with 11's suspenders

3. Stick an 'EXTERMINATE ME' sign on the doctors back

4. Walk in wearing a gas-mask

5. I am not allowed to jump on 9 and flap his ears in an attempt to make him fly

6. Poke the doctor to see if he really is dead

7. Chuck companions (Amy) stare at the doctor while I escape

8. Carve 'Jack wuz Here' on the side of the TARDIS

9. Give Daleks a thesaurus

10. Try to roast marshmallows over the Time Vortex...yummeh and theres EXTRA TIMEY-WIMEY FLAVOUR!

11. Ask how Jack/The Face of Bo and The Doctor have remained 'friends' for so long. Thousands of couples *ahem* 'friends' are DYING to know.  

[adorable apocalypse]

I am NEVER allowed to:

-Stick my pre-chewed gum to the bottom of the TARDIS console

-Stick my pre-chewed gum to Jack

-Stick my pre-chewed gum to the end of the sonic screwdriver

-Have pre-chewed gum AT ALL

-Scream Ood song as loud as possible  

[Mya Lou Trinket-Bell]

I must not hold a pool party in the TARDIS.

I must not hold a Dr who monster themed fancy dress party in the TARDIS.

I must not hold any parties in the TARDIS.

I must not shout EXTERMINATE every time there is a bug near me.

I must not try and get Alfred Hitchcock to play Angry Birds again.

I must not try and get any historical person to play Angry Birds.

I must not smash clocks and make ticking noises while wearing a mask.

I must not make ticking noises. It's perverse.

I must not drink several cans of Red Bull, and run around alien planets yelling, "I've got wings."

I must not keep scrawling BAD WOLF everywhere while the Doctor's not looking.

I must not hold up any mirrors and go, "Those girls over there! I can't see them in it!"  

[shukuo]

TARDIS Time Lord

I'm not allowed to shout 'EXPLAIN! EXPLAIN!' whenever I don't understand something.
*The Doctor didn't think my Dalek impression was funny the first time.
**Or the second
***I'm not allowed anywhere near the Daleks.

The funny thing about "Explain! Explain!" is that Amy does it. All. The. Time.

*gasp*! She's carrying a DALEK baby!!!!  

[Amadeus McNinja]

I am not to talk about time-traveling fight club
I am not to talk about time-traveling fight club
I am not to replace The Doctor's Favorite Fez with a Dalek.
I am not to replace The Doctor's Favorite Bow Tie with the Mara
I am not to replace The Doctor's Favorite Stetson with a Cobra
I am not to put pictures of The Silence on things so that The Doctor cannot find them.
I am not to yell out "Great Scott!" every time we end up somewhere we didn't want to go.
I am not to wear the Doctor's bow tie and pretend to be Bill Nye
I am not to doodle picture of The Weeping Angels
I am not to try and kill the Doctor to see what happens when he regenerates into someone's face.
If I want to know if the Doctor is dead or just unconscious, I am not to place his hand in a bucket of warm water.
I am not to yell out "Woah, a phone box, Excellent!" every time we go to the Tardis.  

[Type40]

Don't steal the tie or fez.
Don't bring a Dalek inside and try and teach it to do the robot.
Don't lock Rose in the closet.
Don't press the shiny buttons...  

[Daveak Shadowsword]

-Not ask if the “sonic screwdriver” is really an a**l probe.
-Every time you enter don't keep repeating “omg its bigger on the inside”
-Not charge admission to enter.
-Ask the doctor if he is also bigger on the inside.
-Ask where the dungeons are located.
-Say that’s its really just a square blue dalek.
-Paint it pink.
-Call it mother.
-It is not a public toilet and shall not treat it as one.
-Sell it on eBay.
-Ask where the room is that all the old companions stuff is in.
-Remove parts and see what happens.
-Park it on double yellows.
-Attempt a world record and see how many people will fit inside.
-Crack is not an acceptable replacement for a trip in the tardis.
-The tardis is not crack itself.
-not allowed to reinact the gut buster scene from alien at the dinner table.
-start a “when’s a dalek going to tern up” betting pool.
-Invite the doctors ex companions to tea.
-Little daleks are not running the tardis and I should not scare the doctor by telling him so.
-Fill it with cake no matter how much the doctor would like it.
-Dance better then the doctor.
-Land it upside down.
-Start an annual dalek tea party day.
-Use it to gain world domination.
-There is not a show called “pimp my time machine” and you can not enter the tardis in it.
-Pimp it out west coast style.
-do not absorb the time space continuum from it just to get high.
-Store histories most famous in it and charge them rent.
-replace the whooping noise with the dixe horn.
-give it your own theme tune.
-enter K9 in robot rumble.
-Set it on vibrate.
-It is not a good idea to paint a sign saying “alien craft right here torchwood!” and stand it next to the tardis.
-There is no window to moon out of and you should not attempt to make one.
-Show torchwood the home entertainment cinema in it.
-Use it for criminal purposes.
-Turn it into a transformer.
-Ask the doctor “so what else can this piece of crap do?”
-do not call it the death star.
-Claim to have invented it and therefore be paid royalty every time it goes anywhere.
-Reenact Bill and Ted's Most Exellent Adventure.
-put gum under the control console.
-press random buttons on the control console to see what they do.
-play with the console to see if ity gets american TV.
-say "engage" everytime he touches the control console.
-say "BRING OUT YER DEAD!' every time the Cloister Bell rings. (If you don't get this one watch "Monty Python And The Holy Grail").
-Call the 10th Doctor "Barty Crouch Jr."
-Fix the chameleon circuit to make no longer look like a Police Box, but an outhouse instead.
-Cloak it while he is away so that he thinks it disappeared or runs into it.
-Tell the Doctor that your saw a Dalek or Cyberman somewhere in the TARDIS when there really isn't one.  

[Shilberu Erikku]

I am not to grope 11, no matter how much of a sexy beast he is
I am not to install a toilet
I am not to replace 5's celery with a dog biscuit
i am not to tye-dye 4's scarf
I am not to comment on 2's wrinkles
I am not to call 2 "grandpa"
I am not to dye 1's hair neon green
I am not to ask about the bees
I am not to try to get K9 to catch a frisbee  

[kalenakeeper]

i am not allowed to ask 11 on a date
i am not allowed to ask Rory on a date ((yeah right, like i'd do that))

I am not allowed to steal River's blaster
I am not allowed to impersonate River

I am not allowed to hang upside down inside the TARDIS
I am not allowed to make a crazy dance party within the TARDIS.

and finally

im not allowed to call myself the 12th doctor, I wonder what he'd look like as a girl.
Im not allowed to call myself "the Doctor"
The nurse or the Angel will do just fine :3


I AM allowed to kidnap Steven Moffet and make him date the Doctor's wife :3
Oh yeah, and take all pens, paper, etc so he cant write himself free. twisted  

[Amadeus McNinja]

Nightshroud01

-replace the whooping noise with the dixe horn.

funniest thing I read all day.