Systematically cleared of bamboo, this empty field covers a wide swath of land directly beside the village academy and is used for sparring, training, and teaching the village students. Shinobi of the village can be found here at any hour of the day practicing their jutsu, or just working to keep in shape. Over time some shinobi have acquired and outfitted the field with a variety of training equipment, such as training dummies and logs. Someone also appears to have started construction on a death trap obstacle course in a far corner, which the students have been warned against approaching.
๑๑๑๑Walking onto the field, Luo was glad to be back where he felt he belonged. Looking around he was happy to see that his instruction to a few genin to set up uncut logs from trees that were to be used in construction had gone well. Twenty feet in length each, Luo had ensured none of the students had any chance at even attempting to run up the entirety of the tree trunk before succumbing to gravity. Checking each one to make sure they had been placed securely in the ground, Luo pressed a lifted foot on each one and gave a hearty push. Finding that everything was adequate, the young man turned to look towards the construction site he'd asked to be left alone during his lessons. He found that not only was the noise distracting for both him and the students, but likewise didn't want the students to have an inkling as to what was actually being built.
Knowing no student was to arrive for another twenty minutes, Luo took the opportunity to get some light stretching and exercise in. It was bad enough that he had been quarantined in his own home, but to be forced not to practice as he was so used to doing daily had mentally taken a toll on him. He understood not pushing his luck as the doctor had urged him, however Luo couldn't allow himself to go on without so much as a jog or a push-up any longer.
Sticking to a very stripped down regimen for that morning given his overall state of being, he still managed to touch on parts of his daily routine without going overboard. What he found primarily after a jaunt around the training field was that his pace had been severely hindered, and just as well his breathing had fallen out of sync with his footsteps. Stopping himself short of breaking a sweat, Luo took a mental note of what he needed to work back up to in the oncoming weeks and projected how long it would take to get back to what he considered normal.
Taking the last five minutes to guzzle down some water, Luo knelt low to the ground balancing his wait on the front half of his feet, allowing the back to remain elevated off the ground as he stared towards the entrance. Because his classes were in the training field, Luo as a courtesy to the majority of the shinobi in the village who needed to keep their training regimen up had opted to have his classes in the mornings to ensure the field was open for the rest of the day. He knew the children didn't exactly enjoy having to endure Luo's classes first thing in the morning, however he felt it crucial to instill in them an exercise regime akin to the ones most if not all of the shinobi in their forces kept up with on their own.
Tapping his right index finger on his knee Luo sighed to himself as he continued to stare, muttering to no one in particular, "I wonder who will be the first to show up."
At a full run, it took little more than two minutes for Shikaku to reach the training field where Luo held his lessons. It was still rather early, since he hadn't even checked the time before leaving home, but as luck would have it Luo was already there, running through what appeared to be some light training before class. Somewhere in the back of his mind he noted that the man appeared more tired than he'd ever seen him, but that was understandable after two weeks of bed rest, and the thought was discarded just as quickly. No, instead his mind was screaming at him to hurry up and approach them man, to ask him for help and advice.
But now that he was here, watching the man from less than fifty feet away, and by all evidence completely alone, he hesitated. What would the man say? How would he react? When they had first met the man seemed in equal parts intrigued by him and dismissive of his potential. He'd taken it for an act at the time, and the man did seem to watch him a lot since, but they hadn't had much personal interaction besides the man's advice on senbon technique, the one weapon he'd managed to throw properly. What if this tipped the balance? What if it really wasn't normal? What if it was normal and he looked silly for questioning it? Worse yet, what if the man simply deemed him insane and kicked him out of the village? He'd finally found a place to belong, he didn't know how he'd handle being made to leave now.
But it was the sleep that finally made him step forward. He hadn't had a single restful night since the dreams started, and he was certain it was eventually going to drive him mad. He needed it to stop, and the only way he knew was to ask for help. So, slowly he took the steps to bring himself within speaking distance of Luo, and stopped. "Sir?" he spoke up, quietly and hesitantly, unsure if Luo could even hear him. He opened his mouth again to repeat himself louder, or maybe just continue with his request, but his tongue froze in his mouth and he snapped it shut, unable to bring himself to speak further as he turned his gaze to his feet, kicking one uncomfortably.
๑๑๑๑Raising an eyebrow as the quiet training field seemed to answer him, the almost whisper of a voice came from behind him. Turning his head to see just who had arrived, Luo found himself a bit surprised to see Shikaku standing there staring at the ground. He'd always watched the kid slink into his classes and attempt to stay unnoticed. Standing to his full height and turning, Luo wondered how long the boy had been there. Ever since their initial meeting, Luo often found more often than not that people for the most part didn't notice the child for whatever reason. In the past year Luo had only observed Shikaku get better at staying hidden.
Still, in the way the boy had spoken he did not address Luo in statement form, but seemed to beckon for him or request his attention. Definitely caused his presence to make more sense. He was curious now though as to what was on Shikaku's mind. It wasn't often the young boy sought help. Folding his arms gently across his chest, Luo leaned slightly to the side as he looked down at the boy who still hadn't managed to meet the man's gaze. "He seems pretty nervous," Luo noted after looking down at him for a moment. Luo had seen Shikaku to be many things in the past year, and consistently nervous was one of them.
"Good morning Shikaku. This is a rather interesting surprise."
Shikaku's lips twitched as he attempted to force a smile for the man, return his greeting, but the attempt failed him and his head dropped again to his shoes. He berated himself mentally for being so... Out of control. He was better than this. Back in the orphanage nobody ever knew what he was really thinking or feeling. He hid himself behind a perfect mask, and he even held it here against most of the ninja. Since the first few days, nobody had ever seen him nervous or scared, though he was almost all the time. Nervous that they would get rid of him for being so weak. Scared that they would change their minds, or that he'd be hurt worse than usual in the next taijutsu lesson. That was probably why Luo was surprised at his presence in fact. Excluding the first, he had never been early to a taijutsu class before, always the last to arrive and first to leave, keeping to himself and hoping nobody noticed him, or picked him for a sparring partner. So him being early to this lesson would certainly surprise him.
And it was a lesson, Shikaku reminded himself. Others would be arriving soon, and if he didn't speak up, he wouldn't get a chance to. Might never even build up the courage to again. "I..." he began, wincing when his voice came out high and split as if he was about to cry. Not the image he wanted to portray in front of Luo of all people. Swallowing hard, Shikaku coughed, clearing his throat and covering the accident as a dry throat, hopefully. "I need your help." he forced out, in the same quiet tone he'd used when he arrived. Luckily, his voice held firm.
Steeling himself, Shikaku looked up, meeting Luo's eyes for the first time, for a fraction of a second before dropping his own to the man's chin. He didn't think he could do this with eye contact, but he didn't want to look weak by refusing to look at him either. "It's... It's the meditation..." he stumbled forward in his speech, casting about for a way to explain his problem without looking stupid or strange. "Somethings wrong with it." he finally tried, daring another glance at the man's eyes to gauge his reaction, hoping for something encouraging. If the man didn't believe him, or couldn't help, he wasn't sure what to do.
๑๑๑๑When Shikaku spoke, Luo couldn't help but notice his voice upon attempting to speak the first time. He was nervous alright, a little more so than usual he supposed. Making an attempt to cover up the tone with which he spoke, the young boy cleared his throat and tried again. Luo wondered why people seemed to often repeat themselves when approaching him, especially considering his disdain for having to do the same himself much less listen to the same thing again. As Segare had jested in the past however, for one reason or another Luo seemed to be intimidating to the children and to a degree his men as well. Apparently it tended to be his silence, but he always thought giving the other person the opportunity to speak their mind fully was what he was doing, not intimidating them out of doing so properly.
At last the boy got to the meat of the matter, asking for help. Honestly, Luo figured this to be a long time coming. Shikaku wasn't exactly close to the top of Luo's class, and he'd often wondered when the boy would ask for help. He was sure Shikaku didn't like being put on the spotlight, however in Luo's class his small stature and seeming overall disposition for most of what Luo taught tended to do just that. Of any of the kids Shukaku tended to be the one exception to the method in which Luo had designed his class. While others who just as well abhorred being put on the spot for failing in the class came for help near immediately, Shikaku had continued his apparent losing streak with the class and its other students up until now.
Waiting for something akin to the usual spiel the kids gave when going about this conversation, Luo found himself surprised when the boy looked up at last to voice what he needed help with. As his brow scrunched slightly as confusion washed over him, Luo composed himself. Still, Shikaku managed to evade the issue between himself and taijutsu almost as well as he avoided people. Nonetheless, Luo grew even more curious as to what facet of meditation caused the boy to find it wrong.
"Well, considering you were apparently the first in your class to properly meditate I find it hard to believe it's the basics of meditation that brought you here. So, please elaborate. Hopefully the matter at hand falls within my realm of knowledge. If not, then perhaps I can lead you in the right direction." Once again Luo found himself between amused and curious of Shikaku as once again a conversation with the child took an unpredictable turn. But if he thought it important enough to speak up about, the matter at hand must have bothered him enough quite a bit.
Shikaku winced as Luo's brow creased in a frown at his claim. That was it then. As he'd worried he'd just upset the man with his strange issues. He probably didn't even believe him. he was about to turn and leave, apologize for bothering the man and back away until class started, when the man spoke. The first words just confirmed his worries, making him look down to his feet again, no longer willing to look at the man he'd obviously disappointed. But then his eyes widened and he looked up again as Luo continued, apparently taking interest after all, asking for more information.
Taking a breath, Shikaku nodded, but rather than immediately answer, he lowered himself to the ground, unconsciously taking on the pose Luo had taught them and starting his breathing exercise. While he hadn't dared meditate again, he'd found himself unintentionally returning to that position regularly. Even without the full meditation, he found it calming, and once he'd gotten used to it, even somewhat comfortable, and at the moment, he rather thought he needed the calming.
After a few moments, and his heart returning to it's normal pace, shikaku looked to the man again, taking one last breath and insisting to himself that he would give his explanation without any more embarrassing stuttering, or worse, crying. "There's something else..." he started, before shaking his head. No, that was a terrible way to start. Starting from there would make him sound more insane than it sounded already. Chewing his lip a moment, Shikaku considered a better starting point, and after a few seconds, decided on the start.
"I didn't use the fire focus." he started, deciding to go right from the start of it. The more he explained the less likely he'd miss something that could have caused the problem. "I don't really know much about fire, and don't watch it a lot, so I couldn't focus on it. I couldn't think of anything else though, so I just focused on ignoring everything else" he chewed on his lip again, hoping that was alright. It seemed to have worked up to that point, so he didn't think that was the problem. "And it worked, I think. Everything sort of faded until it was gone, and when I opened my eyes, there was nothing there. I was just standing in an empty space, but it was... Comfortable." he decided, smiling a tiny bit at his initial success, before frowning as he recalled what came next.
"I wasn't sure what to do next though, nobody said how to actually find your chakra. But as soon as I thought about it, something weird happened..." he paused, chewing on his lip again and looking up at Luo's face briefly before ducking his head again. "Something looked at me." he finally blurted out, refusing to look and see Luo's expression. The man was probably looking at him like he was crazy now, but he needed to finish, so he kept going, not looking up.
"All of a sudden there was a pair of weird green eyes staring at me, right in front of me, like they'd always been there. It startled me, and then there was a weird breeze, and I woke up covered in chakra." he tried to smile again at that, it was one of his happiest recent memories, but it only brought his mind back to the rest of his story. Up to this point, it could probably be explained pretty easily. It was the next time that was really weird. "I wanted to talk to you then, but Timmy wanted to leave and you were busy, so we left. I decided to try again that night. It was a lot easier than before, but there was still nothing there, and it was comfortable still. I decided to try and find the eyes again, because I could feel something watching me." he shivered at that. He didn't like being watched at the best of times, but being watched in your own head was just, weird.
"I walked for awhile, but nothing changed at all, and I kind of got mad and stomped, but then everything seemed to change. I still couldn't see anything, but it felt like there was something there. But then something talked to me." he paused, looking up again, tempted to take a peek at Luo's expression, but ducked his head before he could. No, if he looked and Luo was looking at him weird he'd never finish. "It wasn't me, but it had my voice. I looked, and nothing was there, but I walked that way for a little while, and found a mirror thingy." he swallowed again at this point. This was the part that had been giving him nightmares ever since. It was me in the mirror at first, but then it wasn't. It looked like me still, but it had green eyes, and acted weird. Then it came out of the mirror, told me to wake up, and shoved me. Then I fell, and fell, and never stopped falling until I woke up." he finished, eyes wide again as he finally looked up to see Luo's face. "And now I can't sleep without dreaming about it, and it's scaring me. I can't sleep." he added, not sure why he couldn't see Luo until he finally realized with embarrassment that his eyes were filmed over and he was about to start crying. Sharply looking down again, he blinked his eyes harshly, trying to rid them of the excess liquid and hoping Luo hadn't noticed.
๑๑๑๑As Shikaku began to sit, Luo decided as a kind gesture to lower himself to the boy's level, once again deciding to rest his weight on the balls of his feet as he knelt in front of him. The first thing he noted, was that Shikaku seemed more comfortable with sitting in the position taught to him weeks earlier. While Luo found the position quite comfortable as well, he'd just as well found that most of the students detested the position, finding it rather uncomfortable. Luo instead saw this as a sign that they simply weren't flexible enough for that position to be pleasing, finding some part of his brain pondering the flexibility of the child in front of him.
It took him a bit to get started, however as Luo allowed him the luxury of time to think Shikaku began to ease himself into the conversation. At his mention of the fire focus not being the method he so chose, Luo found that not to be a surprise. He'd found in his weeks of being ill and listening to only the birds, cicadas, and the bamboo water feature outside his home which filled up and then dumped water after a few minutes, that there were far easier things he could've chosen for the children to envision than fire. Specifically, the water feature most of the kids were familiar with. Why he hadn't come to that conclusion the first time around was somewhat beyond him, however it didn't change the fact that Luo felt somewhat miffed that he'd made the mistake.
The next bit was where things remained routine at first, the typical notions of meditation getting ran through. It was in the thick of this however, that things got interesting. The eyes were something Luo found notable, and then Shikaku continued the story. As the boy spoke Luo found more and more of his attention going towards the story instead of aimlessly focusing on things that popped up in his mind. While ill the internal chatter above all of his symptoms was the most debilitating. Without anything to focus his attention on, or at least the majority of it, Luo's mind was free to wander aimlessly while his body was incapacitated. It was more than likely the cause of his constant and painful headaches up until that morning, remembering them fondly from his childhood. Taming the mind was one of the more difficult parts of being an Ushio, and it came with a rather irritating affliction too.
As the story continued to unfold Luo found himself staring at the boy who still refused to look at him directly. His expression was minimal save for the dilation in his eyes which indicated his interest in the matter. It wasn't until the last bit of information Shikaku seemed to find the courage to look up, at least for a second before looking back down again. From what Luo saw in that brief moment, his eyes had welled up with tears. Shikaku was scared for sure, that much was apparent for Luo. Luckily for him, Luo did in fact have an inkling as to what was happening.
As the dirt in front of Shikaku darkened as two droplets fell to the ground, Luo chose his words somewhat carefully. "I see. Well, although a bit alarming as to the nature of the apparition you've seen, what you're experiencing although uncommon this early with most people who've learned to meditate properly isn't as much of a mystery as you might have expected." Giving Shikaku a moment to allow this new found information to calm his nerves a bit, Luo continued.
"Although meditation is often used as simply a means to the end of obtaining use of and just as well taming one's chakra, those more interested in the art itself have come to explain what you're experiencing over time. Although it seems it has yet to fully present itself to you the person you are seeing hails from your own mind, or rather your mindscape, a carefully constructed place manufactured by your own mind in order to present itself to you in a way that allows you to attempt to not only access parts of your mind that are otherwise quite difficult or impossible to get to, but also to allow you to make sense of the chaos that is the mind in order to master it. Well, attempt to. You'd have to ask a monk who has done so or my grandfather as to just what true mastery over the mind allows you to do however I'm afraid."
Taking that moment to stand up, Luo continued again as he glanced back at the entrance to the area noting the proximity of class time to this conversation. Given how slowly the kids moved when entering the training field in the morning, Luo gathered they had more than enough time to continue their conversation uninterrupted. "Who you saw, is a manifestation of your mind itself, a living guide to what's in there. It is said that not one person's mindscape is similar to another's, however it isn't uncommon at all for the resident of someone's mindscape to be an alternative version of themselves. Seems your guide is pretty adamant about getting through to you, although for what reason is something only you can figure out."
Luo's voice had trailed off slightly as he finished the last sentence, somewhat taking a moment to ponder what it was himself. "One's guide to the mind is not always welcoming. Come to think of it most people who stumble upon this phenomena end up abandoning meditation altogether because of the antagonistic nature of these individuals. Parts of the mind remain inaccessible at will for a reason after all, and these guardians of your own secrets tend to want to keep them just that, secret. Most people are unable to comprehend much less handle what's found in the deeper recesses of the brain, and thus until proving yourself capable of handling these things properly through whatever means your own mind seems fit, this guardian will more than likely continue to guard these things from you. Still, it is pretty strange for one to reach out so vigorously. Not only this, but if you're having recurring nightmares about that encounter, they may in fact not be dreams at all but the situation actually reoccurring. Tell me, is there anything in particular you've been wracking your brain for answers on, or perhaps anything troubling you?"
Shikaku's head jerked back up again, eyes wide and thankfully clearer at Luo's first words. So it wasn't completely weird? Other people might have had the same problem? Relieved and rather calmed by that knowledge alone, Shikaku settled in to listen to Luo's answers, hanging on his every word even as his mind tore into every statement he made, dissecting it for anything that could help him get back to normal again.
His eyes only grew wider as the man continued, the full extent of the implications playing across his mind. He'd worked out already that he'd been in his own mind somehow. he wasn't sure how, but that information had come to him rather instinctually. He had to wonder about the statements of carefully constructed, and even mastery, as he hadn't felt any control at all in that place, and it certainly hadn't seemed to hold any careful constructions, or constructions at all for that matter.
But thoughts on that matter were quickly put aside for the more relevant problem. Luo described the person he saw as a guide, a manifestation of his own mind, within a manifestation of his own mind. The thought was confusing at best, and he put that aside as well. If Luo was right, the 'Guide' was trying to either show him something, or keep him away from something? He wasn't sure about the idea that he might be repeating the entire scenario in his sleep. He hadn't tried meditating again since, and it just played back the exact same way every time. But then, he had found himself falling into a meditative stance more and more regularly, without even thinking about it. Maybe he'd somehow put himself back in the trance? or if his guide was trying to communicate, it was pulling him in?
That thought left him blinking again, not sure how he felt about that possibility. Luckily Luo's question brought him back on track, and he bit his lip, thinking carefully for several long moments before finally shaking his head, hair flying about around him. It'd gotten a bit longer than normal recently, and he hadn't taken his usual care of it in his distress, and was a bit filthy, actually. Flicking away a strand that had caught over his eyes, Shikaku shook his head again more slowly. "I don't think so. No more than usual." he answered honestly. Sure, he had the usual issues, and had been a bit worried recently due to Timmy's ultimatum. Luckily he'd convinced the other boy to put it on hold, somehow, but who knew how long that would last. But that had all come after the eyes showed up in his head, so it couldn't be causing it.
But Shikaku was nothing if not determined, so he looked up at Luo again, face firmed as much as he could into a look of determination. If this was quite literally all in his head, there had to be a way to beat it. Standing, Shikaku joined the man on his feet, hands clenched tightly at his sides. "What should I do?" he asked, hoping that with his apparent understanding of the problem, Luo might also have a solution. Shikaku was no coward... Okay, maybe a bit, but not to that degree. He wasn't going to run away from whatever was in his own head, not if there was a way to beat it. And Luo had only said most people gave up, not all of them. So there had to be some that had beaten it before, right?
"I see," was all that escaped Luo's lips as the boy answered his question about his thought processes of the late. With a light shrug Luo found himself somewhat lost in thought, quite curious about Shikaku's dilemma. While Luo's knowledge for anyone in the village may have seemed quite extensive, in his eyes he barely knew enough to diagnose this case. In all his meditation in all his years Luo had only begun to scratch the surface of what was within his own mind, his seeming experience beyond that mainly coming from the same questions and more Luo asked when he was younger. It was only lucky for him his grandfather in his years had attained a mastery over his mind that was uncanny even within the Ushio clan.
So where did Luo's personal experience end? The answer was within the words he spoke having snapped back to the boy in front of him as another question was posed to him. "Honestly, there's not much you can do other than to persist. Personally, I've been at a crossroads with this myself for quite some time. That is to say, even I don't quite yet have free reign over my own mindscape. I'm still met with opposition and persistently so when trying to do certain things, however I will say of the obstacles I've overcome the rewards have been quite fruitful. As much as I hate to say it, there's still more to be done before I can attain a mastery of mental awareness and perception."
Taking a moment to scratch the back of his head as a slightly nervous smile revealed itself to Luo's dismay, he continued hastily to move past the pang he felt as he realized how many questions the children have had and will have that he simply does not have the answer for. It was a testament to how much was left for him to learn, and yet another reason he felt unfit to be a teacher of all things.
"Getting back to what I was saying about you however, there's nothing wrong with exploring this sensation or state of being whenever you happen across it be it willingly or unwillingly. Chances are the experience will move past frightful and towards something of interest. Not many people your age are as naturally adept at meditation as you are so I suggest pursuing the field now, especially while you are young. I won't say there aren't any obstacles you'll have to face in going forth with this, but giving up seems to be a rather foolish notion." Luo's face then seemed to straighten, a bit more so than his usual mix of boredom and stoic. As his mind began to focus more and more on the situation, something he somehow forgot to mention surfaced.
"Fair warning though, some of the effects you suffer in there can have an effect out here. Since your mind is more closely associated with your chakra it isn't uncommon for you to actually burn through your own chakra while meditating depending on if you decide to access it while in that state. Therefore, be aware of chakra exhaustion and its symptoms. Otherwise, you may find yourself on a mission at half your own strength."
Shikaku resisted the urge to bite his lip again at Luo's revelation that the only real solution was to just resume meditation. He'd been hoping for a way to bypass the problem entirely and get right to a solution, but Luo's use of the word "Persist" implied that it would be a trial of sorts, no easy solution. The following assurance however, that the scary aspects should eventually stop was encouraging, and Shikaku hesitantly nodded his acceptance of the advice. He couldn't say he liked not knowing anything, especially if it was hidden in his own mind, so there was no way he'd be just walking away now he knew there wasn't another method.
The next note added though, was a bit more worrying. Things in his mind could actually effect him in the real world? So if he got hurt, he could actually die? But then, he hadn't been hurt from the falling had he? But then, he hadn't landed in the dream either, right? He'd bounced when he woke up, sure, but that was somewhat normal with even typical dreams. Forgetting his resistance and biting his lip, Shikaku nodded. He'd have to keep that risk in mind. He had no desire to kill himself doing something stupid in a dream.
The moments stretched as Shikaku tried to think of something to say in response, to fill the air with some new conversation, but he couldn't think of anything more on that subject, and couldn't really think of any new ones to broach with the man. He'd just started to scuff his feet nervously and look about for something to end the sudden awkwardness when he spotted one of the other students finally arriving on the edge of the field. Taking the opportunity presented, Shikaku gave Luo a quick bow, uttered a quick thank you for the advice, and moved away closer to the edge of the area where he wouldn't be quite as noticeable to the newly arriving students.
The 'other student' that freed Shikaku from that awkward moment was none other than Enryu in his ragged white gi, forcibly creating an opening the final bamboo wall to allow his nearly six and a half foot frame entrance into the clearing. Clapping his gloved hands free of dirt, the self-retired mercenary scanned the clearing with tense eyes until he found Luo standing not far from a collection of upright, uncut log buried into the ground. Raising an inquisitive eyebrow at the peculiar arrangement Enryu decided on approaching the councilman in hopes of gaining early insight into the nature of the mornings training exercise.
'He seems to have recovered just fine. No signs of whatever illness plagued him,' he noted as he approached. His face bore an unreadable expression that, while not quite as stoic as Luo, matched the younger man's effect of perpetual calm. At least as far as his eyes which were cursed with a tense, almost predatory feel as a result of being set deep into his skull. Raising his right hand in a vague grab for attention Enryu stopped a few paces out of Luo's arm reach though he knew very well the councilman could close the gap in the blink of an eye.
"You seem to have eluded death, councilman. The camp was distraught over your illness but it is good that you are still able to teach,"
There was nothing malicious in the tone of the dusky skinned shinobi-in-training, but his deep voice and harsh expression made it difficult to see this. His blunt manner of speaking was no help though an introvert like Luo would likely be able to see Enryu meant no foul with his words.
Statistics Chakra: 15/15 Jutsu Crafter || Combo Wellness: Prime
Equipment:
Short Sword: [<1>] - [] Small Scroll: [<1>] - [< Right pocket>]
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