.~Hello and Welcome to the
Sexual Assault Survivors Anonymous Guild!~.
Sexual Assault Survivors Anonymous Guild!~.
Be aware I don't log on as much anymore. If you want to join, it may take at least a few days to weeks to get accepted.
Here, you can talk amongst others who have dealt with rape and other forms of sexual assault. Get the support and love you need.
People who are willing to help but have not been sexually assaulted are welcome.
~~~
These are the type of stories you can come across in this guild:
Female, male, FtM, and MtF survivors; Rape pregnancies; Resulting STDs/STIs;
Dissented (Not consented)...
Sex of Any Kind, Voyeurism, Groping, Fondling, Kissing, etc.;
Molestation, Incest, *****, Exhibitionism, Sexual Exploitation, Child Grooming, etc.;
Attempted...
Rape, Molestation, etc.
~~~
The Rules?
Simply follow ToS
Support each other
Like Las Vegas, What's said in the guild stays in the guild (unless given permission)
~~~
Affiliations:
Operation Beautiful
Psychiatric Disorder Support
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SNEAK PEAK !!!
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Statistics
Here, you can talk amongst others who have dealt with rape and other forms of sexual assault. Get the support and love you need.
People who are willing to help but have not been sexually assaulted are welcome.
~~~
These are the type of stories you can come across in this guild:
Female, male, FtM, and MtF survivors; Rape pregnancies; Resulting STDs/STIs;
Dissented (Not consented)...
Sex of Any Kind, Voyeurism, Groping, Fondling, Kissing, etc.;
Molestation, Incest, *****, Exhibitionism, Sexual Exploitation, Child Grooming, etc.;
Attempted...
Rape, Molestation, etc.
~~~
The Rules?
Simply follow ToS
Support each other
Like Las Vegas, What's said in the guild stays in the guild (unless given permission)
~~~
Affiliations:
Operation Beautiful
Psychiatric Disorder Support
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SNEAK PEAK !!!
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Statistics
Rape
In 2007, there were 248,300 victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault. (These figures do not include victims 12 years old or younger.) That means every 2 minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted.
1 out of every 6 American women have been the victims of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.
9 out of every 10 rape victims were female in 2003. 1 out of 10 were male.
About 3% of American men -- or 1 in 33 -- have experience an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.
** Denov (2004) states that societal responses to the issue of female perpetrators of sexual assault "point to a widespread denial of women as potential sexual aggressors that could work to obscure the true dimensions of the problem."
Girls ages 16-19 are 4 times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault.
Approximately 2/3 of rapes were committed by someone known to the victim.
93% of juvenile sexual assault victims know their attacker.
73% of sexual assaults were perpetrated by a non-stranger.
38% of rapists are a friend or acquantance.
28% are an intimate.
7% are a relative.
43% of rapes occur between 6 PM and midnight. (US Department of Justice, 1997)
In 2001, 11% of rapes involved the use of a weapon.
84% of victims reported the use of physical force only.
A review of victim reports in 3 states in the US in 1992 revealed that 46% of rape victims under age 12 had a family relationship with the perpetrator, and 20% were raped by their fathers. (Bureau of Justice Statistics)
Sexual Assault
Victims of sexual assault are:
3 times more likely to suffer from depression.
6 times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.
13 times more likely to abuse alcohol.
26 more likely to abuse drugs.
4 times more likely to contemplate suicide.
Incest
The overwhelming majority of children are assaulted in their own or the offender's home by a male they know and trust. In most cases the perpetrator is the father, stepfather, grandfather, brother, uncle or mother's defacto.
27% of the women and 16% of the men had been incestuously abused as children (By Silence Betrayed, John Crewsdon, Little Brown, 1988 ). -- random survey of 2,627 women and men conducted by the Los Angeles Times
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SO TAKE ACTION!!!
Need help?
Who to Contact:
Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network
1-800-656-HOPE
Online Hotline
Search for a Local Crisis Center
Sexual Abuse Hotline
1-888-PREVENT
National Suicide Hotline:
1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)
National Adolescent Suicide Hotline:
800-621-4000
People Against Rape
1-800-877-7252
National Center for Victims of Crime
1-800-394-2255
Rappahannock Council Against Sexual Assault
1-540-371-1666
Want to defend yourself?
Check these out.
AWARE: Arming Women Against Rape & Endangerment
No Nonsense Self-Defense Rape Prevention
Rape and Defense Systems: Courses on How to Protect Yourself
Snope: That popular e-mail advice is crap. See why.
Women's Self-Defense Institute
Websites to Visit:
Organizations:
Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network
National Center for Victims of Crime
Rappahannock Council Against Sexual Assault
Take Back the Night
Community:
After Silence
Dancing in the Darkness
Pandora's Project
Rape Is...
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How to Complete a Rape Kit
1
Seek medical attention at your local hospital's emergency room. All emergency rooms are equipped with rape or sexual assault kits.
2
Do not bathe, shower or change your clothes before visiting the hospital.
3
Expect to receive a routine blood test to check for infection or sexually transmitted diseases and a physical examination to determine the extent of your injuries.
4
A nurse will collect fluid samples such as urine and may examine you for evidence of semen in order to complete the rape kit. This will involve an examination and swabbing of your mouth as well as your vaginal and a**l areas.
5
The nurse may collect hair samples from your pubic area to complete the rape kit. He or she may also perform a fingernail scraping to collect any tissue that may be present after your assault.
6
Unless you're allergic, take any preventive medication the hospital may offer after a sexual assault. This may include tetanus shots or emergency contraception.
7
Speak with a police officer to complete your report after a sexual assault. The evidence gathered in the rape kit will be turned over to the officer.
8
Visit the RAINN Web site to find the rape crisis center nearest you (see Resources below).
Tips & Warnings
It is your right to refuse to participate in any part of the evidence collection process, regardless of what stage the procedure is in.
According to researcher Mary Koss, nearly 1 in 4 women have been the victim of rape or attempted rape. Of these women, only about 5 percent reported their attack to the police. If you have been the victim of rape or sexual assault, call the RAINN hotline at (800) 656-HOPE.
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How to Move On After a Sexual Assault
Assault of any type is life altering, traumatic and terrifying. Sexual assault is particularly damaging to the victim. It destroys self esteem, affects the ability to be physically and emotionally intimate and the ability to trust. Moving on after a sexual assault is difficult and the road to recovery can only be made with small steps.
INSTRUCTIONS
1
Accept that this has happened to you. Denying the assault is merely an act of running to a standstill. Acceptance is the only way to begin the journey to recovery.
2
Understand that you can't do this alone. No matter how strong you think you are, you do need help in moving on from a sexual assault.
3
Get help. Go to your local YWCA or sexual assault crisis center and join a sexual assault victim's group or find a therapist that specializes in sexual assaults. Call the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE.
4
Surround yourself with people who love you. This will remind you that you are not alone and that you have the support of friends and family for as long as you need it.
5
Make recovery your first priority. This doesn't mean you should quit your job or stop taking care of your kids. It does mean that you must put your own needs before the needs of others who are capable of taking care of themselves.
6
Deal with your emotions as they come. One day you may be angry and another day you may break down crying. Let them come; this will avoid allowing your emotions to become bottled up inside you.
7
Recognize that this is part of who you now are. No one is the same after a sexual assault. It cannot be erased. In time, you will again love completely, trust wholly and be happy.
Tips & Warnings
Be patient. Recovery will come and you will move on, but healing takes time.
Don't apologize for your emotions. You are not a burden to people who love and care about you. They have offered their help and support because of those reasons.
Don't blame yourself. Sexual assault is never the victim's fault.
Don't rush the recovery process. Even small cuts and bruises take time to heal.
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You Should Not Feel Guilty
This can also apply to being sexually assaulted.
Separate the rape from the preoccuring events. Certain preoccuring events you should separate from rape survivors: wearing provocative clothing, walking outside at night, going to a club/party, prostitute lifestyle, promiscuous lifestyle, the act of having consensual sex itself, etc. "The act of having wanted sex" will be explained in the next section.
The survivor wasn't asking for rape. Think of this quote: "You cannot rape the willing." Are any rape victims really willing? All the points made above do not mean that they are willing. Wearing provocative clothing does not mean you are willing for rape; walking outside at night does not mean you are willing for rape, and so on. For the act of having sex itself, that does not mean they want to get raped. If they want to stop in the middle of it, the person performing should stop. Let's think of similar situations: Are people walking outside asking to be robbed? Is a little girl playing at a park asking to be kidnapped? Is a nerd asking to be picked on? Is a teenage mother asking to be called a slut? Are these enough points to make you understand? I'll stop here anyway. People just want to live their lives; they shouldn't be attacked in any way for doing so.
They trusted their surroundings/person enough, and it shouldn't be their fault for that. "Approximately 73% of rape victims know their assailants" (source). Specifically, "approximately 28% of victims are raped by husbands or boyfriends, 35% by acquaintances, and 5% by other relatives" (source). Whoever expects their friend, significant other, sibling, or family friend to rape them, let alone abuse them? Besides this, whoever expects getting raped simply by just walking outside at night? One's freedom should not be limited to their (irrational) belief.
If possible under the circumstance, the victim spoke against it ("Stop"; "No" ), so the rapist should have not continued. Just emphasizing what was mentioned in the second point. "No" means "no;" "Stop" means "stop." If given a command, it should be followed. (Unless it's like commanding to sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" while acting like a monkey. XP) What I mean by "if possible under the circumstances" is that even some survivors don't have a chance to say those words. For example, some are drugged. The date-rape drug can be placed in their drink unknowingly (place this situation under the first point), and thus the victim becomes practically comatose, knocked out. Some are even too shocked to respond correctly.
Asking to stop during sex but the other still continues is rape. Even if you consented at first, but changed your mind--something goes wrong, you don't want to do it anymore, you don't like it--and the person still continues, it's rape. It should not be your fault just because you consented at the beginning. Like the above point, "no" means "no." You had trust in them caring to follow rational orders.
People react differently under fear. Some can't think right; some can. If a similar situation has happened before, a person is more likely to freeze when in fear. That past situation made them vulnerable. Another point, rape can happen very quickly. Being shocked, afraid and having such little time to think, it is hard for the victim to think clearly and wisely. Some stay silent, but silence does not constitute consent! Even a person with a black belt in karate could freeze up. Some are afraid of the outcome if they were to fight back. Who knows what the rapist might do? It should not be their fault because of this.
Just because they gave in doesn't mean it's their fault. Giving in is still rape. Asking constantly for sex until the person gives in is rape. A victim saying to stop but goes with it after a few 'come on's or "I'm not finished yet" is still rape. No means no; giving in doesn't mean yes.
They were mentally incapacitated. In such a state, a person can be easily taken advantage of. Imagine a person who is greatly depressed. Their head is not in the right place. So, the criminal decides to take advantage of their mindset. Later, the survivor may feel extremely guilty of what they have done, or allowed. The same goes for being drunk or high.
Separate physiological response from emotional. Just because you were aroused/orgasmed doesn't mean you liked/wanted it. Acknowledge that "experiencing an orgasm during rape or sexual abuse is both normal and common" (source). Furthermore, getting erections or wet are physiological responses. The body is not the mind. The mind is not the body. Think of a person being tickled. They're laughing and kicking their legs, but do they really want it? They could be shouting "Stop!" throughout the whole thing till they pee their pants. I highly doubt stop means "I want more." You think they really wanted to pee their pants? Also, getting a bright light gleamed in your eyes for a long time makes your eyes tear up. It's just your eyes responding to the light. The tears don't mean that you're sad.
The survivor wasn't asking for rape. Think of this quote: "You cannot rape the willing." Are any rape victims really willing? All the points made above do not mean that they are willing. Wearing provocative clothing does not mean you are willing for rape; walking outside at night does not mean you are willing for rape, and so on. For the act of having sex itself, that does not mean they want to get raped. If they want to stop in the middle of it, the person performing should stop. Let's think of similar situations: Are people walking outside asking to be robbed? Is a little girl playing at a park asking to be kidnapped? Is a nerd asking to be picked on? Is a teenage mother asking to be called a slut? Are these enough points to make you understand? I'll stop here anyway. People just want to live their lives; they shouldn't be attacked in any way for doing so.
They trusted their surroundings/person enough, and it shouldn't be their fault for that. "Approximately 73% of rape victims know their assailants" (source). Specifically, "approximately 28% of victims are raped by husbands or boyfriends, 35% by acquaintances, and 5% by other relatives" (source). Whoever expects their friend, significant other, sibling, or family friend to rape them, let alone abuse them? Besides this, whoever expects getting raped simply by just walking outside at night? One's freedom should not be limited to their (irrational) belief.
If possible under the circumstance, the victim spoke against it ("Stop"; "No" ), so the rapist should have not continued. Just emphasizing what was mentioned in the second point. "No" means "no;" "Stop" means "stop." If given a command, it should be followed. (Unless it's like commanding to sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" while acting like a monkey. XP) What I mean by "if possible under the circumstances" is that even some survivors don't have a chance to say those words. For example, some are drugged. The date-rape drug can be placed in their drink unknowingly (place this situation under the first point), and thus the victim becomes practically comatose, knocked out. Some are even too shocked to respond correctly.
Asking to stop during sex but the other still continues is rape. Even if you consented at first, but changed your mind--something goes wrong, you don't want to do it anymore, you don't like it--and the person still continues, it's rape. It should not be your fault just because you consented at the beginning. Like the above point, "no" means "no." You had trust in them caring to follow rational orders.
People react differently under fear. Some can't think right; some can. If a similar situation has happened before, a person is more likely to freeze when in fear. That past situation made them vulnerable. Another point, rape can happen very quickly. Being shocked, afraid and having such little time to think, it is hard for the victim to think clearly and wisely. Some stay silent, but silence does not constitute consent! Even a person with a black belt in karate could freeze up. Some are afraid of the outcome if they were to fight back. Who knows what the rapist might do? It should not be their fault because of this.
Just because they gave in doesn't mean it's their fault. Giving in is still rape. Asking constantly for sex until the person gives in is rape. A victim saying to stop but goes with it after a few 'come on's or "I'm not finished yet" is still rape. No means no; giving in doesn't mean yes.
They were mentally incapacitated. In such a state, a person can be easily taken advantage of. Imagine a person who is greatly depressed. Their head is not in the right place. So, the criminal decides to take advantage of their mindset. Later, the survivor may feel extremely guilty of what they have done, or allowed. The same goes for being drunk or high.
Separate physiological response from emotional. Just because you were aroused/orgasmed doesn't mean you liked/wanted it. Acknowledge that "experiencing an orgasm during rape or sexual abuse is both normal and common" (source). Furthermore, getting erections or wet are physiological responses. The body is not the mind. The mind is not the body. Think of a person being tickled. They're laughing and kicking their legs, but do they really want it? They could be shouting "Stop!" throughout the whole thing till they pee their pants. I highly doubt stop means "I want more." You think they really wanted to pee their pants? Also, getting a bright light gleamed in your eyes for a long time makes your eyes tear up. It's just your eyes responding to the light. The tears don't mean that you're sad.
DISCLAIMER:
I, Sermanther, am not a psychologist, a social worker, a counselor, or any other type of worker in a related field. I'm simply a girl with a B.S. in psychology who genuinely wants to help others who have been sexually abused or assaulted.
I, Sermanther, am not a psychologist, a social worker, a counselor, or any other type of worker in a related field. I'm simply a girl with a B.S. in psychology who genuinely wants to help others who have been sexually abused or assaulted.
Nicolette the Brunette