Operation Beautiful v2.0

[pigeonsoup]

This thread will always be in a state of change, adding new topics and touching up on old ones. If you have a related issue that you feel should be addressed in this thread, please let me know and I'll do my best to put up information. Thank you.

I apparently haven't made this clear enough. This thread is for support in learning positive self image. If you have no intentions of changing your negative body image or self esteem, please DO NOT post. You will be banned, probably without warning. No exceptions.

Welcome to the new Operation Beautiful thread! heart The old thread could no longer be moderated because the original poster is no longer active on Gaia. But it's such a wonderful thread that I decided, with permission, to start it over!

Operation Beautiful~
The goal of the Operation Beautiful website is to end negative self-talk. The blog itself specifies "Fat talk" as a main problem, but in my opinion, all other negative self-talk is just as much of a problem. Our mission here in this thread is to help people take steps to end their negative feelings towards their body. You are not too fat, too thin, too tall, too short, to be beautiful. Your nose is not too big, your eyes are not too close or far apart, your lips are not too thin or too big, to be beautiful. It doesn't matter if you've got a little extra to love or if you're lacking in the curves department. It doesn't matter if you're a size XXL or XXS. To hell with what bullies tease you for or what magazines say you need to do. Being yourself is the most beautiful thing you can do.

The Operation In Real Life~
Operation Beautiful is meant to improve others' self esteem and body image, one sticky note at a time! Write a simple, inspiring message on a sticky note or any piece of paper and put it somewhere where it will be found. On public bathroom mirrors, in books, under items in stores, whatever. Wherever you feel there needs to be more love. Simply write, "You are beautiful!" or whatever else comes to mind and leave it to be found. You may even find your sticky note on the blog later, if someone finds it and posts it! My personal favourites are ones in public pool bathrooms that tell people they're rockin' their swimsuits whee

This thread~
Is a new version of the old Operation Beautiful thread... but it's also much more than that. This thread promotes Operation beautiful but it's also dedicated to support and offer help, or at least a shoulder to cry on or ear to talk to for people suffering from low self esteem/confidence, poor body image, or anything similar. Below, I will put effort into discussing various issues that involve or bring on self worth and body issues, to help explain the problems that we want to help solve. Let it be known that the issues I try to explain below have a lot more to them than what I could even try to fit into one thread, and they are also not the only problems related to body image and self esteem issues. But, I'm gonna give all I've got in an attempt to be thorough without it becoming a huge wall of text. <3
To put it simply:

munkers

This isn't some fluffy love circlejerk where we're going to sing Kumbaya and talk about how everyone is equal and wonderful and awesome and nothing bad ever happens. This is about the inherent worth in every person and that society does not have a monopoly on what is good, proper, beautiful, etc.

[pigeonsoup]

Rules and Important Information~

Rules~
-Follow the TOS.
-Try your best to keep negative self talk out of the thread. We understand if you need to get your feelings out in order to explain why you need support and help to get better, but please don't come in every day complaining about how much you hate yourself. It's not beneficial to you or anyone else in the thread.
-Do not push weight loss at others or anything else meant to "improve" people's looks. We're not here to tell people how they can look more beautiful, we're here to help people see beauty. If you want help with healthy weight loss, however, you can discuss it in PMs or I can direct you to a helpful thread.
-Do not post numbers like your exact weight or amount of calories you eat or anything like that. I'll explain this further in a section devoted to those with eating disorders.
-Disagreeing with someone is fine, insulting someone is not. If you must post a disagreement with someone's opinions, do so politely.
-If someone disagrees with you, don't freak out. If it's upsetting to you, take it to the PMs, but please, not before a deep breath and a reminder that not everyone thinks the way you do.
-Negative remarks about someone's appearance will result in an automatic ban.
-Please stay on topic. The topics of beauty, self esteem, body image, and all things related is a pretty wide range of things to discuss, but if you must get off topic, I suggest PMs or the ol' chat thread here.
-This is not a debate thread. Period.
-Any trolls or repeat offenders will be banned. You may or may not even receive a warning, depending on the severity of your offense.

Issues I feel I have to address~
The point of this thread is not to be conceited and narcissistic. It's to address the issue of poor body image, low self esteem, a lack of confidence, and everything in between. There's a difference between loving yourself, and being in love with yourself, so to speak. We do not approve of people who have attitudes that suggest they are better and more beautiful than anyone else. You can be absolutely stunning, but if you're so in love with your own face that you can't even see equal beauty in others, that's just not right. We are all beautiful in our own ways. Here, we want you to see the beauty in yourself, and we also want you to see the beauty in others.

Another issue we hear a lot is, "What about mean people? If true beauty comes from within, than surely these people are not beautiful." Yes. Yes, it is true. Outer beauty is like a reflection, you have to have inner beauty to be truly beautiful. People with cruel hearts can be hot as hell, they can be the prettiest thing in the world, but their "beauty" has no real value in the eyes of the people they've hurt. That is not beauty, and we are not suggesting that cruelty is beautiful in any way. That seems to get misunderstood a lot. Our aim, again, is to help people with poor body image and other such problems.

There's a grey area there, of course, in which mean people have low self esteem and body issues and take it out on others. It is cruel and we do not condone that. But would they still be so cruel if they felt comfortable and confident in their body and mind? Probably not. Possibly, yes, but most of the time, bullies only bully because of their own insecurities. It's sad, and we want that to stop. If you are aware that you make fun of other people because you are insecure about yourself, please make an effort to change for the better. We're here for you when you take that first step, so long as you don't bring a negative attitude into the thread.

The last issue that needs addressing before I continue is this thread is NOT a debate thread. This is a support thread. I understand that not everyone has the same opinions as those of us in this thread. I am aware that some people think this operation is pointless or stupid or what have you. We've encountered enough arguments in the last thread to figure that out. This thread is here to support people who want support and to help people take steps to become happy with who they are. This thread is not for debating or arguing over whether Operation Beautiful is effective or appropriate. If you do not agree with the aim of this thread, please don't post your negativity here. You have the right to create your own debate thread, we're not stopping you from that. Just be respectful enough to keep debate out of this thread.

[pigeonsoup]

What Causes Body Image Issues, Etc?

There are many, many, many things that can cause these issues. I'd venture to say there's an infinite amount of reasons. I'll do my best to outline some of the more prominent ones here.

Negative Self-Talk~
You know what this is. Most of us do it without thinking. "Ugh I feel so fat today." "My nose is way too big." "I wish I had prettier eyes." We say and think these things and don't realize how much they affect us and others. Not only do we make ourselves feel inadequate, we suggest to others that they should feel inadequate, too. Once you realize you're doing it, the next step is to stop yourself when you think or say these things, and say, "No, I'm fine the way I am." You may not believe it, at first, but it takes time.
This problem of being down on yourself mostly arises after already having feelings of low self-worth, but is still a contributor to making things worse.

Media~
"Every society has a way of torturing its women, whether by binding their feet or by sticking them into whalebone corsets. What contemporary American culture has come up with is designer jeans."
—Joel Yager, M.D.
Media such as movies, TV shows, and magazines make a lot of money by letting companies advertise through them. And companies make money by...well, this:

Quote:

By presenting an ideal difficult to achieve and maintain, the cosmetic and diet product industries are assured of growth and profits. And it’s no accident that youth is increasingly promoted, along with thinness, as an essential criterion of beauty.

It's sad to me that the media can still be allowed to set unrealistic standards for women, men, and even children. [Did you know eating disorder symptoms have been found in children as young as 5 years old?]

Quote:

Perhaps most disturbing is the fact that media images of female beauty are unattainable for all but a very small number of women. Researchers generating a computer model of a woman with Barbie-doll proportions, for example, found that her back would be too weak to support the weight of her upper body, and her body would be too narrow to contain more than half a liver and a few centimeters of bowel. A real woman built that way would suffer from chronic diarrhea and eventually die from malnutrition. Jill Barad president of Mattel (which manufactures Barbie) estimated that 99% of girls aged 3 to 10 years old own at least one Barbie doll.
...
Over three-quarters of the covers of women’s magazines include at least one message about how to change a woman’s bodily appearance.
...
The barrage of messages about thinness, dieting and beauty tells "ordinary" women that they are always in need of adjustment—and that the female body is an object to be perfected.

http://www.media-awareness.ca/english/issues/stereotyping/women_and_girls/women_beauty.cfm
What more do I need to say? I really suggest leaving Operation Beautiful sticky notes on magazines and such. It's amazing to me that there's still so much power in media suggestions of how our bodies should look.
And lets not forget there's pressure on men as well.

Quote:

New research suggests that men feel pressure to have muscular bodies, and that influence can lead some to symptoms of eating disorders, pressure to use steroids, and an unhealthy preoccupation with weightlifting.

“Men see these idealized, muscular men in the media and feel their own bodies don't measure up,” said Tracy Tylka, author of the study and assistant professor of psychology at Ohio State University 's Marion campus.

“For some men, this can lead to unhealthy and potentially dangerous behaviors to try to reach that ideal.”

http://researchnews.osu.edu/archive/maleobj.htm

I'm certain anyone can see the effect media has on our body image. I don't even feel the need to explain further on my own. I think the quotes said it all.



Depression and Low Self Esteem~

Quote:

Clinical Depression is a syndrome of different types of symptoms that includes 1. emotions, 2. particular types of thoughts and thinking patterns, 3. behaviors, and 4. physical aspects.
The main link between depression and low self esteem is about thoughts/thinking styles that are common to both.
Feelings of worthlessness (thinking you have have less worth than the worth you perceive other people to have) is one of the symptoms of depression (people need to have at least 5 symptoms to be classified as having Clinical Depression).

http://www.aliceboyes.com/self-esteem-depression
Depression and self harm caused in part by low self esteem or poor body image is a growing problem. If you are suffering from depression and having issues with self-worth, you're welcome to post your story here. Our ears are open and we do care very much. <3

Various Conditions, Disorders, and Disabilities~
Many people with conditions, disorders, or disabilities that they feel are obvious to others have a lack of confidence because of it. It's easy to feel like you don't belong when you're different from the people you see walking own the street. It's also very easy to become depressed from this. Whether it's a mental or physical condition, it still makes you feel like an outcast. Especially in school, where being made fun of is pretty much expected every day. Some disorders and such even effect your ability to socialize properly, which can make things worse right from the start.

Quote:

Children suffering from physical illness, particularly chronic diseases and disabilities are at an obvious risk to develop low self-esteem. Illness can undermine a child's personality both directly and indirectly.
clear pixel
Direct effects are the ones, which result from the disability caused by the illness. Indirect effects of chronic illness may lead to a variety of personality disorders - low self-esteem being the commonest one.

Illness imposes limitations on the child's activities, especially if there is an associated physical disability. Chronically ill children or those having a physical handicap may view themselves as imperfect and different from their peers. They are likely to suffer from feelings of inferiority when they compare themselves with other children.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/867421/chronic_diseases_and_disability_can.html

Again, these problems behind poor body image and self esteem are merely the tip of the iceberg. I just don't want to make this post longer than it already is xD

[pigeonsoup]

Eating Disorders~
All information taken from Something-Fishy.org
If you have, had, or are struggling to overcome an eating disorder, the following section may be triggering. Read at your own risk, but remember you are beautiful.

Eating disorders are often caused in part by a lack of self esteem and/or poor body image, or at least bring about those problems somewhere along the line.

Quote:

-All in all, eating disorders are very complex emotional issues -- Though they may seem to be nothing more than a dangerously obsessive weight concern on the surface, for most men and women suffering with an eating disorder there are deeper emotional conflicts to be resolved.

-Eating Disorders are [partially] about being convinced that your whole self-esteem is hinged on what you weigh and how you look.

-BE AWARE: A sufferer DOES NOT need to appear underweight or even "average" to suffer ANY of these signs and symptoms.

Remember how I said not to post numbers like your weight or caloric intake? Things like that can trigger someone with an eating disorder. Triggers are what gives someone the urge to give in to their disorder. And that's certainly not what we want here at Operation Beautiful. We want recovery and health and happiness for people suffering from EDs. If something you want to post seems triggering, put a warning in bold print at the top of your post, please.

Anorexia~

Quote:

The person suffering with Anorexia may be abnormally sensitive about being perceived as fat, or have a massive fear of becoming fat -- though not all people living with Anorexia have this fear. They may be afraid of losing control over the amount of food they eat, accompanied by the desire to control their emotions and reactions to their emotions. With a low self-esteem and need for acceptance they will turn to obsessive dieting and starvation as a way to control not only their weight, but their feelings and actions regarding the emotions attached. Some also feel that they do not deserve pleasure out of life, and will deprive themselves of situations offering pleasure (including eating).

Some of the behavioral signs can be: obsessive exercise, calorie and fat gram counting, starvation and restriction of food, self-induced vomiting, the use of diet pills, laxatives or diuretics to attempt controlling weight, and a persistent concern with body image. See Also, Signs and Symptoms.

It is not uncommon for people suffering with Anorexia to waver through periods of Bulimia (binging and purging) as well.

Bulimia~

Quote:

Men and women suffering Bulimia are usually aware they have an eating disorder. Fascinated by food they sometimes buy magazines and cook-books to read recipes, and enjoy discussing dieting issues.

Some of the behavioral signs can be: Recurring episodes of rapid food consumption followed by tremendous guilt and purging (laxatives or self-induced vomiting), a feeling of lacking control over his or her eating behaviors, regularly engaging in stringent diet plans and exercise, the misuse of laxatives, diuretics, and/or diet pills and a persistent concern with body image can all be warning signs someone is suffering with Bulimia.

It is important to realize that what makes a person Bulimic -- as opposed to Anorexic -- is not the purging, but the cycle of binging and purging. Purging may be using laxatives or self-induced vomiting, but there are Bulimics who use other inappropriate compensatory behaviors such as compulsive exercise (ie., excessive jogging or aerobics), to attempt to burn off the calories of a binge, or fasting the day following a binge. It is not uncommon for a man or woman suffering with Bulimia to take diet pills in an attempt to keep from binging, or to use diuretics to try to lose weight. A sufferer will often hide or "store" food for later binges, will often eat secretly and can have large fluctuations in their weight.

Compulsive Overeating~

Quote:

People suffering with Compulsive Overeating have what is characterized as an "addiction" to food, using food and eating as a way to hide from their emotions, to fill a void they feel inside, and to cope with daily stresses and problems in their lives.

People suffering with this Eating Disorder tend to be overweight, are usually aware that their eating habits are abnormal, but find little comfort because of society's tendency to stereotype the "overweight" individual. Words like, "just go on a diet" are as emotionally devastating to a person suffering Compulsive Overeating as "just eat" can be to a person suffering Anorexia. A person suffering as a Compulsive Overeater is at health risk for a heart attack, high blood-pressure and cholesterol, kidney disease and/or failure, arthritis and bone deterioration, and stroke.
They feel guilty for not being "good enough," shame for being overweight, and generally have a very low self-esteem... they use food and eating to cope with these feelings, which only leads into the cycle of feeling them ten-fold and trying to find a way to cope again. With a low self esteem and often constant need for love and validation he/she will turn to obsessive episodes of binging and eating as a way to forget the pain and the desire for affection.

Other disorders not listed here are listen at something-fishy.org.

Eating disorders are complex and extremely hard to overcome. And the self esteem and poor body image of someone suffering from an ED can take even longer to fix than the disordered eating itself.
If you or anyone you know is suffering from an eating disorder, I strongly recommend you check that website out.

[pigeonsoup]

Self-Acceptance~

As I previously stated, "fat talk" and a negative attitude is not the only problem that contributes to self esteem/body image issues, but still, it is a big part of the problem. And the solution is not "If I were this size I would be happy". The solution is simply to learn how to accept yourself as you are and make an effort to stay healthy at your size, whether you're underweight, overweight, or anywhere in between.

Learning to love and accept yourself for who you are might possibly be one of the toughest things you will ever do. After all, you are your toughest critic.

Here is my favourite resource for learning to love yourself. It's intended for people recovering from eating disorders but it all works just as well for everyone else.

Some helpful excerpts from Something Fishy~

-Wear clothes you feel comfortable in. Don't wear clothes that feel too tight or restrict movement. Don't hold off on buying clothes you like -- do it now! Dress to express yourself, not to impress others. You should feel good in what you wear.

-Make a "why I like myself" list. Think of all the things about YOU that you like -- are you honest? Creative? Intelligent? Compassionate? Loyal? Kind? Think of all the reason you deserve to love yourself and write them down. Hang the list up next to the mirror as a reminder that these things are what make you truly beautiful.

-Stay alert to fighting negative self-talk. When that little voice of doom pops up in your mind trying to remind you how horrible you think you are, have a strategy for turning those negatives to positives. No one is perfect! When you find yourself being self critical immediately stop and pay yourself a compliment!

-Remember the whole world... We are all different and we're supposed to be that way. It would be an incredibly boring world if we all looked exactly the same. It's a truly special experience to look around and realize that everyone is beautiful, no matter what size, color or gender they are. There is beauty in everyone, and that includes you!


Health at Every Size~
Being overweight or underweight does not mean you are unhealthy. You can be healthy, no matter the size of your jeans.

Quote:

"We've studied this from many perspectives in women and in men and we get the same answer: It's not the obesity—it's the fitness."
-Steven Blair, P.E.D., Cooper Institute for Aerobics Research, 2004

For most people, weight and physical health are nearly completely irrelevant, as long as you make an effort to live a healthy life. If you have a good level of physical activity, and you keep a well balanced, healthy diet, it's very unlikely that your size will have any effect on your physical health. This goes for underweight people as well.

Healthy at Every Size FAQ

[pigeonsoup]

A Little Media for Us~

Youtube~
Tri Delta - Fat Talk Free Week

Dove - Beauty Pressure

Dove - Girls' Self Esteem

Teen Truth - Body Image (for boys too!)

Anorexia - Elle's Story

CBS - Anorexia's Living Face

Body Image Advice for Teens

This Girl...

Black or White

Amy <-- a personal favourite. <3

Anorexia Awareness Ad

Awesome Links~
Warning- Some of these sites may have advertisements for weight loss or diet pills. I do not condone this but I also cannot remove them as I do not own any of these sites. Please just ignore the ads and remember you are beautiful.
What is Beauty?

To Write Love on Her Arms

Glamour Body Image Revolution

"Too" Skinny Girls, We Love You Too!

How to be Healthy at Any Size

Fat and Fit

Obesity Mythbusting

More to come later!

[pigeonsoup]

Wanna be Affiliates?
Please, do PM me!



Beautiful People!
PM me if you'd like to put our picture up here! I'll start.
Me~ heart

petit archaya

r25s lil_jo

Sakura Scholar

Broth of Shoes picture 2

Beautiful Banners, Signs, and Pictures~
Feel free to make something pretty for the thread, we need banners and such!

[url=http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/lifestyle-discussion/operation-beautiful-v2-0/t.64939915/] [img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v192/MissMew/OpBeautiful.jpg[/img][/url]

Activities~

[pigeonsoup]

Open~ As soon as it gets moved to the LD!

[notapotatoiswear]

Chai, this is a beautiful Anorexia Awareness ad, as well. :]

I'll be sending you some signs/photos for the thread this coming week/weekend, too. n_n <3

[pigeonsoup]

YES! Thank you! heart

[notapotatoiswear]

I suggest that anyone who is feeling down and out about their body image to see the film 200 Pounds Beauty. It's a Korean film about a young woman named Hanna. She's an overweight phone sex employee who is also the secret vocalist for the famous pop star Ammy. She's ignored and belittled for her appearance so she makes the decision to get a full-body plastic surgery.

She creates a new identity, thinking that her newer, slender and pretty self will be much happier. She pretends to be "Jenny" and fulfill her dream to be the one on stage and win the man she loves. She loses her best friend and even the man she loves along the way, losing sight of who she really is. She finally confesses and by the end of the film, has learned to love who she really is.

It's a very heartfelt movie, and really cute. I can't help but smile every time I watch it.

Here is a trailer for the movie for those who are interested... :]

[pigeonsoup]

Omg I almost forgot that movie! I so need to watch it.

[notapotatoiswear]

I have some good movie/book recommendations, once I get situated (Finals are so close!!) I'll post some. n_n <3

[kd100]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OhldhI-TYU

[Mawds Fuqqd Juxtaposed]

how does accepting a size make you beautiful